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jonesbunch

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My heart is heavy to be writing this. I can't believe I am living this pain. Tuesday we had to put down our sweetlove Penny. She was a Treeing Walker Coonhound and such a companion. Her death is overwhelming - I have recently retired and she and I were together in this house daily. We walked at least four times a day. I made special meals for her (she had intestinal lymphoma and couldn't eat any fat), and we spent mornings with tummy rubs and cuddling. It almost makes you feel like if you hadn't loved so well the pain would be less. Stupid, huh? Our house is small so there is no room where her presence isn't felt. I don't even know what to do with my day now. That's how a big she was in my life. It's funny because she is really my husband's dog. Inseparable. But somehow she managed to give me a little time each day that was just mine and I looked forward to those moments where I received my own special lick. This pain is immense and sometimes I am frightened and feel very alone. I loved her so much. Going through the normal grief phases - did we really need to put her down or could she have hung on...why did she have to get sick...all of that. But truly it is the wave of depression and pain that I am struggling with the most. Thanks for listening. It is nice to know there are others who have been through this. 
Greenpj22

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Posts: 8
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss! Just try not to have guilt and know that Penny is in a better place. I had to put Buddy to sleep on Monday due to aggression issues and I got him 4 years ago because I was working from home, so we were together 24/7. He was by far my best friend and stuck to my side through a bunch or tough times.

I too am having guilt and going through the what if’s. The truth is he was miserable and hated being around other people (minus a select few). But Penny and Buddy both had a great life and are joyfully playing now (or napping.. buddy did that best).

Take admiration in the fact that you are grieving so hard over the loss of Penny.. that just means she had a great life and was truly loved and part of the family. She is no longer in pain and you did the selfless thing because I’m sure this was one of the toughest decisions of your life.

I am absolutely numb and still talk to him sometimes. I had to shut the spare bedroom door because that’s where he always was.. laying on the bed looking out the window.. and I swear I still see him so I had to shut it.

Please know you gave Penny the best life ever!
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