Registered: 1211222271 Posts: 7
I posted about my sweet Princess on a board I frequent and she recommended this site to me.
About 6 years ago I was sitting in my back yard on the phone chatting with a friend when this adorable little gray tabby jumped into my lap and began rubbing against me. I was pleasantly surprised and wondered where this little cutie came from. She continued to stay in my yard, but I already had three cats and couldn't take on another. I decided to keep food and water for her, and to get her fixed so she should wouldn't have more babies. Around that time my cat Tux was hit by a car. Though I was hurt and saddened by his loss, I decided to bring this new little kitten into my home and keep her. I named her Princess Leia. When I moved out on my own, my mom took my oldest cat, and I kept Princess and Chewbacca. I have had Chewbacca longer, but Leia was my baby. We had a very special bond. She slept with me every night, and would rest her nose against my chin. When I would lay down she would crawl up to me, and look into my eyes and reach out with her tiny paw and gently touch my face, letting me know that she loved me just as much as I loved her. She was always on my lap, and always purring and hugging me. I loved her so much. A few weeks ago she became sick. She always had bad breath, but I didn't realize how serious it was until she began pawing her mouth. I took her to the vet and they said she had a bad infection in her mouth. The bloodwork revealed that her kidneys were infected as well. They kept her in the office on antibiotics for four days, and then did the surgery to her mouth to clean it and remove some teeth. I was so scared because her kidneys had gotten bad. But she came home. At least for a while. Two days ago my fiance came home to find her hiding beneath the bed shaking and unable to walk, or focus her eyes. He rushed her to the vet. Too late. She passed away the following morning, and all I can think about is how I should have done something sooner. They say she died of a massive infection. I'd like to say that I just didn't know, but that's not good enough. She was like my child, and I let her down. I can't stop crying and thinking about her. At night I lay down and feel this emptiness inside because she is supposed to be there with me. I buried her out at my parents property so I could visit her and tell her how sorry I am. I would have done anything to help her, but I failed.
Registered: 1206744372 Posts: 174
I am so sorry for your loss. Leia sounds like she was a real sweetie. I lost my cat Sherry 2 months ago suddenly also. She became very sick and I waited too long to take her to the vets and she had to be put to sleep at the emergency hospital because her kidney had totally shut down and she was in convulsions. She was my baby too and slept with my husband and I every night. She would burrow her little face between my shoulder and neck and nurse every night and then lay by my side. I had lost my other cat Daisy only 6 months before from cancer but she'd been sick a while and was 21. She and Sherry were good friends and both slept with us while my other 6 cats slept downstairs. I know that would a should a could a guilt trip that you put yourself through and I think it's one of the most horrible painful experience you can go through and it just feels like your heart is being ripped apart. I am praying that you get the support you need and keep posting here because there are many wonderful people who are going through the same things and want to help.
Love, Rena (Sherry and Daisy's mom)
Registered: 1208278231 Posts: 199
I am sorry for the loss of your baby, Princess. She sounds like such a sweet gentle soul - so loving.
I can relate with the guilt that you are going through - I think all of us have guilt that we didn't do things soon enough or that we did it too soon. It's a horrible thing to do to oneself - place guilt. I know that your Princess loves you and that she knows you would never intentionally cause her any harm. It's been 5 weeks and 1 day since my Piggy left and I'm still feeling guilty and sobbing and apologizing to her. It's hard my friend but know that your baby girl is with you in spirit. She would never leave you fully. Come to the candlelight ceremony tonight. I'll keep you in my prayers. Love, Piggy's Mom
Registered: 1208508336 Posts: 820
To Kara Bear
Sorry to hear of the loss of your Princess. I lost my Rupert at 15 to kidney disease 16 weeks ago. I didn't also know that bad breath in a cat is a sign of something wrong with their health. We all get racked with guilt for what we could and couldn't or didn't do but I have realised that it is too late. We did the best we could with what we knew. We all love our pets and try to do the best for them and sometimes we make mistakes. We are only human. You gave her a lovely home, love and all that goes with it. She came to you for a reason and that was it and to show you what love was. If you hadn't looked after her than what would have happened to her. She had a few years of love and kindness that otherwise she may not have got. Don't feel guilty, we don't understand animals ailments and we miss signs sometimes. I have been there (full of guilt) and still are feeling bad sometimes for my Rupert. We are lent these pets I think to show us love and kindness and then they leave us and take a piece of hearts when they leave to go home. Ruperts Mum
Registered: 1211222271 Posts: 7
Thank you guys.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I still do. I think about her all the time. Every time I sit down I expect her to jump into my lap, and when I lay down at night, I reach over for her, and she's not there. If I drop food on the floor, I laugh thinking, "Well Leia will get it" and then I remember she will never be there again. I've had pets since I was a kid, but none of them were as special as she was. My heart is so broken, it's all I can think about. I wish she would have been home when she passed. I wasn't even home when my fiance took her to the vet that night. I wish I could have held her one last time, and let her know how much I loved her...
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry to learn your beloved little tabby cat, Princess Leia, has passed. I can tell your heart is broken. She was your devoted and faithful little companion for so long. I want you to know that I truly believe Leia felt ALL YOUR LOVE surrounding her at the end. I think our furbabies carry our love for them in their hearts everywhere. We don't have to be in their presence for them to feel it. Leia knows your heart. She can feel your love now, so it is not to late to tell her how much you love and miss her. I lost my beloved little terrier, Betsy, four months ago and I talk and sing to her every day. I can feel her loving spirit right beside me.
It takes some time for the intense pain to subside a little, so be gentle with yourself. In time, you will be able to remember Leia with more smiles instead of tears. In the meantime, don't hesitate to come here for support if you feel the need. We will be here for you.
Sending big hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom