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Cerberus_86

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Posts: 8
 #1 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufEejvMEP64 This song's feel best fits the theme of this post.

Clear and bright green eyes meet my gaze as I took a small and fluffy black and white kitten. My friend briefly skims her history and pleads me to help find her a home before her dad comes home, because he would shoot her as she could not keep her. Being a innocent child I could not let that happen, so I did what any self respecting child would do. I sneaked her into the house confident in my stealth skills. The day drew to a close and after dinner my mother turned to me. Her exact words were "I better ask my dad." a simple sentence that confirmed my failure. I rushed to my room and held the small kitten in my hands and as I looked into those beautiful green eyes a fire of determination rose in me. Small as I was I prepared all kinds of arguments on why she had to stay. Standing in front of my parents bed, I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I asked and immediately wanted to fire out counter arguments but my dad said yes. I was so happy I rushed to my room, I was so uneducated back then I put down newspaper ha ha. That was soon fixed and her first night in our family was spent in my room. At around 1 in the morning I was wakened by the faint meows, sitting at the foot of my bed staring up at me was her. Being raised in a house were animals are not allowed on the bed I knew exactly what she wanted and I did not hesitate to pick her up. We snuggled that night...

I don't remember much of the younger years and I feel bad but that day I will never forget. That was the only time I remember her being cuddly. She was not a person cat, she was wild and free and we were the people that fed her. She did not have it easy she survived my bother. Being put in the washing machine because she was dirty and the freezer! for what I still do not know. She was the mother of many. She was a brave hunter and accomplished snake killer, if not for her we probably would have brushed death's shoulder multiple times. She was the silent presence in the house, she always carried herself like she was royalty and I was her ever willing servant. I grew up and she was my constant. I was going to England for two years and by then she was in her senior years and I sat her down and asked her to hold out till I come back. After two years she was outside waiting for me.

I started to work for a vet a few months after and my eyes opened. She was tested for liver and kidney function also a x-ray to make sure everything was okay. The years have slowly been creeping up on her with reduced lung function and the start of kidney disease. Her diet was adjusted and her condition came back even her color intensified. Everything was going well but of course the idea of her not being around forever creeped into my mind. About 4 months ago her habits started to change drastically, she lost a lot of weight and looked for warmth from us. Her nails and coat I had to maintain but she was still okay and those things was the least I could do for her. By this time I had moved out of my parents house but I came to visit every two weeks. I came home yesterday and there she was waiting for me like she always does. She came into the house and while I was busy in the kitchen came up to me. I reached down and what I felt was just a skeleton with fur. I scooped her up into my arms, I hardly felt any weight on her. The shock echoed through my body and I knew that the chance of having good news was slim. I phoned to make a appointment. Having worked for the local vet I made her promise me that if I ever brought her in and it was time she should tell me. I took her in this morning and although she handled it very diplomatically I could see the shock on her face when she examined her patient of 9 years. She agreed that it would only get a whole lot worse from here and she offered to take her because by then I was shaking and mumbling idiot. I had to stay, I made a promise to her that she would never die alone if I could help it. I held her close as the vet prepared the syringe. I remembered that before I moved out I sat down both cats and told them that there will be no dying before 34 years. (Was the oldest cat I could find on the net). I held her close and pushed back the tears and told her that it was okay, she didn't have to fight anymore. She slipped away in my arms, I only let go when she was gone. I held my promise and that gives me some comfort. She is now in a better place where treats flow freely and my love will surround her into eternity. Here in the mortal world her ashes will buried in her favorite place in the garden where the sun shines from morning till late afternoon. I just felt like sharing this because she was a extraordinary cat with a extraordinary life and her story deserves to be heard. 

Ma-kat 1994 - 23/07/2013
You where the first I have met who appointed herself royalty and it was my honor to serve you. You will be missed and remembered forever.

PETER7

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Posts: 92
 #2 
Everyone here has been through this experience of loss, and you described it beautifully. All the very best.    United in sorrow     Peter
pansy

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Posts: 599
 #3 
What a very lovely story.  It sounds like she was very much respected and appreciated by you for who and what she was.  I'm sorry she's gone now, but I'm sure she was aware of how very much she was loved.
Cerberus_86

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Posts: 8
 #4 
Thank you both for your kind words. I feel disappointed in myself. Though I cried a lot yesterday the tears don't want to come today, I feel emotionally catatonic. I don't know its like I am not really mourning. I have known her for the better part of my life and I can't show it!
pansy

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Posts: 599
 #5 
Your topic says it all- "This is a story of a great life."  What a wonderful way to memorialize your kitty.  There is no need to be disappointed in yourself at all. Grief takes  different paths in different people.  Maybe at some point the tears will come, but then again maybe you will be satisfied with the fact that she lived a long and wonderful life and be at peace with it.  We just never know, but I would not measure your love for her by the amount of tears you shed.  Just by your story I could tell how much she was respected and admired by you, and like I said above the story heading says it all.
Cerberus_86

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Posts: 8
 #6 
Thank you. I feel a bit better today. My family who have met her has sent messages and its heartwarming to see that she has touched other lives besides our own. I think my mind is protecting me because I remember almost nothing of what happened at the vet. I get some flashes at random times which brings me to tears or a torrent like last night. It seems that my mind is trying to let me down easy.

I took a page out of PETER7's book and began writing a poem about that day and I guess that is what triggered it. It's good to find a outlet for my feelings.
TonkasMom

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Posts: 189
 #7 
Hi -I don't come on this site as much now. Occasionally, I peruse the topics and your's caught my eye. You do Ma-kat great honor! Your story illustrates how so many of these wonderful creatures passing through on their journey leave their mark behind that says, "I was here; I was extraordinarily beautiful, intelligent, brave and much loved"! All our beautiful living creatures deserve such honor. Thank you!
Cerberus_86

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #8 
Wow. I happened upon a notification email in the back end of my inbox. What a lovely reminder of a lost pet. Obviously, I got all teary eyed when I going over the posts. 
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #9 
What a beautiful story, thank you so much for sharing it! She definitely had a wonderful life and lived it to the hilt on her terms. She was so blessed to have you as her person and to have you there showering her with love and holding her in your arms as she took her final breath...

- Kelly
Angle Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

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