Registered: 1181452445 Posts: 54
I haven't been here in a very long time; I was busy and thinking I didn't need to come here. It is coing up to the first anniversary of Frazier's death, and I am experiencing that pain all over again. I kind of suspected that this might happen. So I am back for support.
In addition my brother's friend and love, Brandy, a gentle Great Dane had to be euthanized two nights ago, I have used the skills I have learned here to give him support. That, also is bringing back the loss I feel for Frazier. So, I'm back to see you and be with you and talk- Thanks for being here.
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
Welcome back Sheryl. It is so strange how our grief returns when we are least expecting it. I have just been crying over all of my lost babies. Oh to hold them 1 last time. Di xxx
Registered: 1183436105 Posts: 296
Hi sheryl, I don't know how much help I'll be, because right now I'm a quivering mess worrying about the decline of my 14 yr. old husky mix, Kirby.
I see that you didn't get any responses yet, and I don't like to see any posts go unnoticed. Grief can hit you any time! Even loved ones that have died ages ago (my Mom died in '63!) still have me crying every year when it's her anniversary (July 1st) or Mother's Day! You will never totally get over the grief BUT you will learn to deal with it better and better as each day passes. Someday, you will be able to laugh and talk about the silly things your furbaby did, and not shed a tear! That is when you know you have truly moved on, but your furbaby is NE VER, EVER forgotten! It just means that you've accepted it. I don't know how much help I'm being here. As the owner of four dogs before my Kirby, I can tell you definitely you will always feel an ache, but in time it does get better! Take care, Laura
Registered: 1181452445 Posts: 54
hi Laura and Di;
I am so grateful that this place exists! I esp thank you for writing to me to welcome me back and ackowledge me.. sheryl
Registered: 1193376621 Posts: 168
Don't beat yourself up over this. You are about to experience what we all dreaded too--
the first anniversary. This will be a time of tears , but you might also start to remember the "good times" too at this point. Each of us has to go through this on our own. In spite of all the support you may have it is a very personal journey. So nice to hear you can offer help to your brother, but he must do this on his own too, since no two people are alike. Coming here reminds me that we all grieve in unique ways, no one is right or wrong. So, if you are feeling guilty for "not being over this", STOP. You, and only you, knows what your baby meant to you. Personally, I never want to ever be "over" my "little daughter", Lei-Lei. Her memory is alive and well, even if, at times, I still break down too. I will hold on to what precious memories I have......that's all I have left of her. Not goodbye......just until Marmy always comes back for you
Registered: 1193533588 Posts: 991
Anniversaries are tough. I'm only sitting at 8 months;
It's so hard to lose the bestest of the best. You go on with life, you're making it work. And then, something happens and your loss feels like it was yesterday. I'm sure that losing your brother's dane brought back a lot of memories. I am so glad that you were in a position to comfort and help him.
Welcome back. I'll be looking for your posts.
Registered: 1212106181 Posts: 12
Sheryl, my current grief from my dog dying yesterday is still current so I can't count that.
However, I can't look at photos of my beloved cat who passed 4 years ao without getting teary eyed. I miss her. For a long time after she passed, I went to scoop her litter pan that was not there, or feed her in her dish that i had put away. I still have her fur in my jewelry box. I'll always hold onto her. You'll always hold onto Frazier.
Registered: 1197081544 Posts: 686
These anniversaries can trigger so many emotions. I am coming up to 6 months since I lost my kitty, Gus. I am dreading the day and it is still a week away. Our furbabies have such an impact on our lives that I think we will always miss them. We move on, but that sense of loss will always be there. Even though Frazier cannot physically be with you, he will always live on in your heart. Hugs Kate (Gus' mom)
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
I think we have all tried to leave this site and have tried to heal on our own. It never worked for me and has not worked for most. Christopher has been gone for over 14 months and I miss him as much today as the day he left. The one year mark for me was horrible; it felt as if I was losing Christopher all over again. Fortunately we all have each other. Hopefully some day we will find the end to this dark and painful road we all seem to be following. I am glad that you are back. We are all here to help you through just as you helped so many of us. You and Frazier are in my Prayers. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry you are struggling so at the one year anniversary of your beloved Frazier's passing. I don't think we ever get over missing them and wishing they were still in our lives. I think the fact that your brother is hurting from losing his love, Brandy, is compounding your sadness. It is so hard to watch someone we love suffer. Please extend my deepest sympathy to your dear brother for his loss of Brandy. The two of you will be in my prayers. Sending you healing hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1164162392 Posts: 1,910
Sheryl, You are getting a double whammy now. It is a first anniversary, and you are undergoing yet another loss to bring up this earlier one that you never will forget in any case.
While we do learn to go on after each loss, a part of it remains forever painful, and each subsequent loss brings all of that pain up again. You are a loving and caring person, you remember and cherish the times with those who have left this world before you. May your pain soon be replaced with happy smiles of remembrance.