Registered: 1209334884 Posts: 12
I am having a dilema! When Ozzy passed it was so fast and unexpected that I may have acted hasty. I have expressed concern to friends, but they think I'm being the "crazy cat lady!" I don't have children and this kitty was my baby in kitten clothing! Maybe that's pathetic, but I don't care. My boyfriend convinced me to bury him on the property. The problem is, I don't own the property, I am renting and will move within the next year. Is it wrong, sacreligous or whatever to "change my mind" and take him for cremation so that when I move he goes with me? Yuk! I feel awful! I REALLY need advice!
Registered: 1206998272 Posts: 52
Dear Ozzy mama, I had a hard time deciding on what to do also. I decided to have my baby boy cremated as I will be moving soon. That way he will always be with me. I plan to be buried with his ashes when it is my time. If I were you I would have Ozzy cremated. I can tell how important it is to you. You have to do what you feel is best in your heart. I am very sorry for your loss. Hugs, Boo Boo's Mommy
Registered: 1204786493 Posts: 131
Oh Ozzymama, I understand your concern. When did you bury Ozzy and
did you bury him in some kind of box? I would call the pet crematory and ask if they would cremate him so you could take his ashes wherever you go. ~~Andee
Registered: 1209334884 Posts: 12
He was buried Fri evening, It has been unseasonable chilly since and he was in a secure box. Any thoughts? Is it wrong do disturb him, is he at peace? Yuk! I feel like vomiting!
Registered: 1204786493 Posts: 131
I agree with BooBooMommy, have Ozzy cremated. There should be no problem having it done. No, I don't believe it would be wrong to disturb him. You will feel more at peace having him with you always. ~~Andee
Registered: 1194654202 Posts: 881
I think this is only a decision you can make. Some people have planted some flowers and plant by the grave so that there is a memorial when they leave that location. But all in all...Ozzy is not in that box..his spirit will be wherever you are.
Registered: 1206817941 Posts: 95
I feel for you! My "Baby" passed away unexpectedly on 3/29/08. He was 13 yrs. old - Friday he was fine - I got up Sat. morning and there he lay! I was devastated - still am. I too had a hard time deciding what to do - I started a post about it also - if you look you will see it. I was really unsure what to do - but I felt that by cremation he would be with me. I decided to do that - it was really hard - but to me it was hard anyway it was done! Everynight I light my flicker candle beside his urn. It seems to give me peace of mind and I know he is with me! Hope this helps you alittle!
Registered: 1196441749 Posts: 567
I believe you should follow your heart and have him cremated, I can tell that it is very important to you. If you don't it will bother you forever that you could not take him with you. As far as disturbing him, I truly believe with all my heart that their body was just a vessel that housed their spirit while they were with us. So, I don't think you are disturbing him, because he is at the Bridge with all our furbabies. My thoughts and prayers are with you, follow your heart. Nina Maria's Mom
Registered: 1195951360 Posts: 124
I can only advise that it's an individual decision. If you'd feel better changing his burial to a cremation then, if you can physically do it, I would. I regret not having Tiny cremated but I grew up thinking that was what you did when a pet died. The regret of having her buried bothers me almost daily. Then again, for some owners, their heart tells them to bury them in a special place or a pet cemetery. Whatever you decide- it's up to you. Never forget that Ozzy will always be with you in spirit. May your heart be at peace through your grief. TinysMom
Registered: 1208278231 Posts: 199
I don't think it's wrong to disturb your baby. I had my baby cremated since I live in an apartmet. I think you should have your baby cremated so you can take him with you wherever you go.
Big Hug, Piggy's Mom.
Registered: 1209334884 Posts: 12
I guess I am going to take tonight to think about it. Thank you all. Lavender_Passion, your posts really helped me.. I went back and read all of you posts. You and I (unfortunately) have alot in common. My parents are not really understanding of my situation either. The "it's just a cat, you are gonna have to get some thicker skin" comments are really wearing me out. I, too, am nervous about the cremation being"painful", you know what I mean? But, in addition, I am indecisive about actually "digging my baby up" after putting him to rest! Ugh, I wish I could have just gone straight to the crematorium. What a tough decision. I JUST want to begin the healing and have this all behind me! ( I really just wish my baby was still alive!) I am pretty sure what I will do, but I am dreading the "digging" part. Makes me sick to even say that.
I found a really nice place in Dallas and spoke with the man in charge of the cremation. He made me feel alot better! He said this happens ALL of the time and even gave me ideas to make that one part not so bad. I asked him if it would be a single cremation or a mass and I apologized before asking if this would really be my baby's ashes or just some from a fireplace! He was very respectful and it helped to know he had 5 kitty of his own. So, I will be thinking about this all evening and will try to come to some decision tomorrow. Thanks. This just sucks!
Registered: 1206817941 Posts: 95
I worried about that too! But I feel like the place that did the cremation for Baby - was really good! It was family owned - and they had individual or the other. I am so bad to think about things and get them on my mind! Anyway - I know they did me right with my "Baby" like I said my urn is about 9 in. tall and 3 wide - 2 sides of it has scratching post material. I liked it! And then with my flicker candle - it really looks nice at night. Thinking of you!
Registered: 1160702030 Posts: 847
I am very sorry about your Ozzy, I went and read your other post on him, and how he saved you- what a precious boy. My little Tweeny had heart issues as well, and I did have her cremated so she could be buried with me. It took me a long time to decide what to do- I thought I had it figured out, but when it happened, it was so final. They kept her body at the vet for eleven days before I picked her up- so I wasn't sure what to expect. She looked just like the last time I saw her- God I miss her. Everyone here has given you such good and supportive advice. Sound like you found a wonderful man to talk to about cremation, he probably gave you some good advice. Have someone with you as it will be very hard. Also if you are insecure about getting Ozzy's ashes, see if they do private cremations. That is what I had done, we were the only appointment that day, and they had a waiting room and they let me light candles in there for her. If you want to read about it, type in the search "cremation vs burial" and it is a thread written by "Birdee". There is lots of good advice from others that have gone through it as well. It is a tough thing to go through, but Ozzy will be alright with whatever you decide. Bless you and Ozzy, may you have strength and peace. Love from Tweeny's ma
Registered: 1171205812 Posts: 343
I´m very sorry for your loss of your beloved kitty. I know what you are going through. While ago my soul mate dog died and my husband said he would bury him on land above a hill. I just sat there stunned still...I told him let´s just wait a minute and see. He went ahead and had someone bury him. I just intuitively knew it wasn´t for me, so yes, a bit later he was then cremated. A service came to pick him up, but it can be done by the owner, for some reason I didn´t get too emotional about it, just felt it needed to be done. Just recently I buried a small kitten, it was just so small to cremate...I think the crematorium people would have thought why is she doing this, this kitten is the size of a hand. So I did the burial. It´s been a couple of weeks and finally now I´m starting to be ok with it. I´m still very sad about the loss. Then another one of the fosters kittens didn´t make it. This kitten died at the vet and stayed there. Now double sad, but life must go on. Listen to your intuition. Cremation can be done even if they have been buried. Take care Hugs to you, Denise
Registered: 1160118634 Posts: 113
Dear Ozzymama, I think you have made up your mind already about your fur baby. Cremation is about the best way I feel in my heart. This way you will be able to bring your fur baby with you. Moving and leaving Ozzy there would bother you. You would be wondering constantly. Cremation he would be with you always. (¨`·.·´¨) Blessings, `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Love & (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Hugs, `·.¸.·´ *KeaElsa* - - Mommy to Kea, Elsa, Casper, Brandy, King, Dusty and Flagg THERE ARE NEVER ANY GOOD BYES, ONLY WELL WISHES, TIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.
Registered: 1164162392 Posts: 1,910
I am so sorry for you loss and your pain. In your particular situation, it very much sounds as if the best thing is to have your baby's remains cremated so you can take them with you.
You know that your loved one's soul is *not* in the physical body you buried so recently. It will not matter to your beloved what you do with the cast off physical husk. The unbroken love bond between the two of you is forever and not affected by how you deal with the rest. Do what feels best to you right now, take as good of care of yourself as you can at this most painful time. There is no one "right way" to deal with such a terrible loss, so you can do whatever feels the best to you, in whatever place you are, right now. Whatever you do is a testament and honor to the love of your and your beloved furred one.
Registered: 1157312483 Posts: 172
Ozzymama: I,too,was faced with the same situation as you when I lost my hamster Emma 2 years ago. I didn't know what to do. I and my Mom rent an apartment,so burial in the yard was out of the question,so I opted for cremation. Now,2 years(and 5 hammys later),I had each of them cremated. But do what is best for you,and let the answer come to you. emmasmama
Registered: 1165864486 Posts: 577
I feel for you. I went through this the week I lost my baby. I own my home, but somehow do not feel I will always be here, will move someday. It would devastate me to leave her and it would be on my mind nonstop if and when I moved. So I decided to have her cremated and I am glad I did. My friend's sister had her baby cremated after she was buried, as she was selling her house. Follow your heart.
So sorry for your loss. Many hugs. Cindy Merry's mom
Registered: 1209486709 Posts: 13
I'm so sorry for your loss. It truly never makes sense when this all happens, even as we imagine their happiness over the rainbow bridge. I know many have already said it, but I agree with getting your little one cremated. As your thinking about this, here are some suggestions: 1) Truly ask deep in your heart if this is what YOU want. Try not to listen to your family or others who may not understand. Ozzy was your baby and you made her life wonderful and special. You have the right to decide what to do with the remains. It sounds as if you've found someone great at the crematorium who was understanding of your plight. 2) When my 17 year old cat Jennifer crossed the bridge in November 2005, I was utterly speechless and dumbfounded as to what to do. She was my only pet my entire life: a gift for my 6th Birthday, a loss at age 23 while I was in gradschool. She was truly a member of my family, my angel who stood by me from my earliest days. Since I had never experienced the death of an animal, I didn't know what they did with the remains afterwards. I cried thinking of her getting frozen somewhere or tossed in the trash, and since I lived in an apartment and was going to school out of state, I couldn't bury her anywhere. My aunt, who had 2 dogs of her own and had experienced the passing of her furbabies years before, suggested cremation to me and even gave me a beautiful urn to put Jenny in. It was the best decision I ever made. I felt like she was with me again when I went to pick her ashes up at the vet. Most animal hospitals will take care of it for you and have them ready for you to pick up within a week's time. I took her home and had a picture of her next to it, and till this day, nearly 3 years later, I'm so happy she's with me. I've moved, am getting married, started a new life, and she's still here. After losing Brucey Lucy this past Monday, my 11 month old kitten (story posted), I immediately asked for papers to have her cremated. I knew without a doubt it was the best decision. You have a piece of them to hold on to, since their spirit has already floated away and is on the bridge. Remember, do what's in your heart and make no apologies. Few understand the pain we've all gone through, but you had friends here who will support your decision either way. Hugs, Liza, Brucey Lucy's forever Mommy