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lovetoomuch

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Posts: 2
 #1 

I can't get into what happened , but after four years of love from Doyle I made the decision to have him euthanized because of a lick granuloma and associated anxiety and aggression issues that made him very unhappy, and it was affecting me in a very bad way. The burden of the things he would put me through having no help and a giant dog.

He also had nightmares and a lot of trouble sleeping. Even though my own health and happiness were declining in doing what it took to take care of him, I still feel as though I failed him and to lose a friend in such a way, to me, is unforgivable. Vet had him on Trazadone but it only kept him calm for a couple months.

I've cried every day since October and am just stuck. He loved me and because I could not handle him I had no choice but to make the choice to euth.

 He was scared and at that moment I would have done anything to have been able to give him another chance, It's complicated further but I can't get into because of the rules. It was bad, but reliving it does not help.

There are some older cats that someone abandoned that have been living on my porch, I'm going to try to take two of them in.. or just the older Tom cat. He's got arthritis and I have to give back to get over this.

He gave me a lot of love and I loved him too much. When I would have to go to the doctor monthly I would burn my car up because I knew he cried when I was gone like I am crying now. I walked him till my feet were sore daily but he still wanted to go farther. I got ten thousand nose kisses from him and a lot of belly rubs.

 

We played shoe ( he grabs show, I pull him around in floor, fun ) a lot. He always won. He's in heaven and his Daddy will never stop loving him or forget. I learned a lot from my first real bonding with a dog after the death of my family.

 

 

 

 

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #2 
I am so sorry that you felt there was no other way to make Doyle happy. It sounds to me like you tried very hard to give him a good life. Sometimes things are out of our hands and we can't fix them. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. To watch our babies take their final breaths is so very hard, no matter what reason. It's tough, I know but I can see you felt you had no choice and I am sorry for you. I am sorry for Doyle too, it sounds as if he loved you very much. On this we site there are poems listed and one of them is about a situation similar to yours and how Doyle wouldn't blame you. If you can't find it, let me know and I will look up the title for you. I know this will help you feel better.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #3 
I am so very, very sorry that you had to make this horrible decision. I echo what Termy's mom said - sometimes things are out of our hands and, despite all of our efforts and all of the love we have in our hearts, there is no other choice but to release them from their pain. From what you've written, you did everything you knew to do, but it did not relieve Doyle's suffering so you gave him the last gift of love you knew, and that was to help Doyle pass to a place where he isn't suffering anymore. It hurts like crazy for you, but hopefully sometime in the future you can take solace knowing that the two of you loved each other so very much and you gave him the best possible life you could while you were together...

Hugs, peace and healing to you...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom
Remsmom

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #4 
I empathize with you that was the worst decision I had to make as well. I know the feeling of guilt. I had though of every scenario that would have saved my Remington. I wish you peace
lovetoomuch

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #5 

I left what made it so absolutely horrible out of the story because of the rules.It's out of my hands now,but It was *severe* neglect/contempt/almost want to say psychopathy of the vet that caused the most amount of trauma to both of us. I am coping but still think of him and that horrible scene every day. I have PTSD and the vet is a "friend" of one of my parents whom I have a rocky relationship... and he's lucky I have self control and could not deal with going through dealing with police/ being subpoenaed or this already infamous local vet would be in jail.

 

I had to let it go, Can't even talk about it, it's hard. I was initially going to tell about what happened but after seeing a particular rule, and thinking in hindsight, the story is hard to hear. I really hope God makes him pay, all I can say. I've been having nightmares for months

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