I can't get into what happened , but after four years of love from Doyle I made the decision to have him euthanized because of a lick granuloma and associated anxiety and aggression issues that made him very unhappy, and it was affecting me in a very bad way. The burden of the things he would put me through having no help and a giant dog.
He also had nightmares and a lot of trouble sleeping. Even though my own health and happiness were declining in doing what it took to take care of him, I still feel as though I failed him and to lose a friend in such a way, to me, is unforgivable. Vet had him on Trazadone but it only kept him calm for a couple months.
I've cried every day since October and am just stuck. He loved me and because I could not handle him I had no choice but to make the choice to euth.
He was scared and at that moment I would have done anything to have been able to give him another chance, It's complicated further but I can't get into because of the rules. It was bad, but reliving it does not help.
There are some older cats that someone abandoned that have been living on my porch, I'm going to try to take two of them in.. or just the older Tom cat. He's got arthritis and I have to give back to get over this.
He gave me a lot of love and I loved him too much. When I would have to go to the doctor monthly I would burn my car up because I knew he cried when I was gone like I am crying now. I walked him till my feet were sore daily but he still wanted to go farther. I got ten thousand nose kisses from him and a lot of belly rubs.
We played shoe ( he grabs show, I pull him around in floor, fun ) a lot. He always won. He's in heaven and his Daddy will never stop loving him or forget. I learned a lot from my first real bonding with a dog after the death of my family.