Registered: 1214144797 Posts: 32
It has been 9 months, and soon again it will be 10 months without our dog Hongo. I woke up from something at 3:38 this morning and I seen that the moon was bright and a bright star was showing in my window view. The moon made me cry. Everytime I see the moon, I think, "Well, I will never again see his black pearled eyes." The moon makes me think of how his eyes glared back at me when I rubbed his chin, it was almost like they were dark black pearls that came from the ocean. I was in the hospital about 2 weeks ago, and the whole time I was there, I felt like he was looking out for me. It is all silly though. I didn't eat anything for about a week, and I think not eating and puking up whatever I ate made me loopey. I am a little insane, as a matter of fact, I have been for a while. I just miss him so much. When I listen to The Dixie Chicks "You Were Mine", he pops into my mind and I just think of him all for the song. I miss him so much, and I can't let go of him. His brother, Snoopy, died soon after his own death, so I was heart broken from that too. I miss both extremely much, and I cry myself to sleep alot from what happened. Now, I have my dog to look forward to, he is a husky lab (maybe a lil bit basset hound, he has some floppy ears), and his name is Oreo. I haven't yet told him "I Love You" because I still love Hongo alot, and I can't let him go. I need help and I have tried to help myself, and my friends don't know about how I react to his death still. My best friend (we are going through a rough time right now) Sarah, she said that Hongo's death was a good thing because my parents promised me a dog after his death, and she said that now I could get a dog. Hearing that come from her hurt me alot. She lost about 5 dogs, and she didn't have them for that long of a time. Only maybe for a year or so about for each, and Hongo was here for 11 years, she just doesn't understand how I feel about losing a pet from after that long of having him for so long. I need help, and just from writing this is about to make me cry. Since his death, I have gone down hill, and my last hamster, he was 3 years old, and I feel like he is haunting me now, because at night sometimes, something randomly starts squeaking in my room, and it is the sound of his wheel he had connected to his cage. I just miss all of the friends I have had throughout time, and I can't let go of them. A few months back, I drew a picture of Hongo, and I cry now when I look at it. Help. It has been so long, and I can't hold this in anymore. I am in a depressed mood alot lately.
Registered: 1206449055 Posts: 657
I am so sorry for the loss of your dog Hongo. And I am sorry you are still suffering so. This is a good place to come to let your feelings out as everyone here well knows what you are going through. You sound very young and you mentioned your parents. I believe that if you haven't told them of your feelings, you need to do that. Your friend means well, but she probably can't understand the depth of your feelings, but I think if you told your parents exactly how you feel, they would understand. You should not try to hold your feelings in. Please know that everyone here is very kind and they know what you are going through. Oreo sounds like a lovely dog--and you can love him without being disloyal to Hongo.
Registered: 1211860763 Posts: 139
My Dearest MooseLove13:
I am very sorry that you must endure the pain of losing your beloved friend. Please know that some people just don't get it and will never know the love that you already know. It's a beautiful and pure love that gets right into your heart and never leaves. Please allow yourself to grieve in whatever form you must and know that you can come here for help. We've all been there and know that some people don't now or will never understand our love for our animals. Here you will find people that do understand and will help comfort you when you need it. This room is filled with wonderful loving people who help each other through some really difficult times. I know I wouldn't have been able to cope with my loss without all these wonderful people. The love that we have for our animals never goes away because it's locked up safe in our hearts and guarded and protected by us. It's in safekeeping for them until we meet again. Just know that whatever you do and wherever you go so goes your Hongo. You are not insane you are just heartbroken over your loss and things will remind you of him and it's okay to grieve for your beloved Hongo. He was a huge part of your life and your heart. Just remember that Oreo will never take the place of Hongo but if you let him he can also love you and be loved by you. You will not be disrespectful to your Hongo by loving another dog, infact maybe even the opposite. Think about this, your Hongo was such a great dog and gave you such wonderful life with him that you can't live without another dog because he showed you how special having a dog can be. What a tribute to your Hongo and that bond you share. Another dog will never replace your Hongo but it is a completely different relationship and a different kind of love. Never the same but a love none the same. Give it some time and when you are ready Oreo may be just what you need. I hope you find comfort during your day today and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry you had to say farewell to your beloved companion, Hongo. I can tell how very deeply you loved him and how much he is missed.
One thing that might help you immediately is to think of how much love you and Hongo shared each time you see the moon, instead of focusing on the loss. I lost my beloved little terrier, Betsy, five months ago, and asked her to send me a star each night to let me know she is okay. So, each time I see a shining star, I feel hope in my heart and know she is at the Bridge, patiently waiting until we can be reunited. Please don't be too upset with your friend, Sarah. I think she sees that you are suffering and probably didn't know how to comfort you. May I ask how old you are? It sounds like you are having such a hard time with this loss, as many of us have. Do your parents know how depressed you have become? Please know you can share and vent your feelings here and we will be here for you. Sending hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom Our Beloved Betsy Noodle