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Goldie

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Posts: 7
 #1 
I am about to say goodbye to my third cat in four weeks, first 2 yr old Annie has a heart attack, then middle aged boy Hank has to be put to sleep because of his head tumour growing and now my old lady Jess has rapid breathing and the bloods told us her kidneys and liver are stuffed so she has maybe days left.  People around me don't seem to realise what this is doing to me.  So I came back here because you all know how miserable its making me.  How can such heartache all happen at once like this.  I still walking around wishing I had done SOMETHING different, whatever it was, that could have changed the outcomes.  I have been rescuing and rehoming cats for 30 years but some cats have to live with me because they are not homeable and they become my wee family.  I know I have to say goodbye to Jess, in days or hours but her hair is shiny, she is not lying around, her eyes are bright, she is still agile, but the rapid breathing could be painful or distressing and she cannot be on medications because of liver and kidney damage to her already failing organs.  So we are having perhaps a last weekend together.  Am very sad and of course worried about doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.  She is struggling so I don't think there is a choice.  Its just when...
VickyMJ

Registered:
Posts: 71
 #2 
So sorry you are going through so much heartache right now.

You are obviously a very kind and caring person and love her very much to not let her suffer.

I have lost 2 cats this year, Raisin most recently, he was only 4 and we can only think it was a heart defect as it was a complete shock and sudden. Through all the animals I have lost in the past, his loss is by far the hardest, we also had that special bond. I’m still not really able to talk much about him.

I know I will always have animals in my life, especially cats, they provide so much love and companionship but also so much heart break when they are taken from us.

I’m sure you are giving her so much love and it sounds like she has had a wonderful long life with you.

Thinking of you.

Vicky xx

cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #3 
Oh, Goldie, I feel you pain and I am so sorry for you. I found strength in your post "when to say goodbye". The wisdom of your formula gave me insight and strength to keep going. I don't have any of that kind of wisdom to share with you except to say that I understand and send you love during this difficult time. What you do is wonderful and if it wasn't for you and what you do there wouldn't be all those special kitties that shared your home and love. Keep doing what you do best, giving love.
All my best
Termy's mom
Goldie

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #4 
Termy'smon and VickyMJ, Thanks for your support, its so nice to find these pages as people around us often just cannot understand how devastating it is to lose a pet.  I Had a lovely weekend with JessieJ, she was trying very hard to keep to her normal routine but I could see she was struggling.  I asked my Wee Annie, my little angel that passed away four weeks ago, to please help me to know what to do and when I woke up Monday morning I knew, I called the vet and told them that whilst I knew I may have to put her to sleep anyway, that I needed to know WHY I was putting her to sleep, so I asked them to x/ray her.  I am so glad I did, they told me she had "bubbles" in her lungs, which could be tumour or something else sinister.  They said we could try her on long acting antibiotics and Prednisone, but there was no guarantee.  She was still there groggy from having the X/ray and I decided that before she came to me she spent 15 years living under an old house, scared, she had 3 broken ribs so possibly even kicked, so when she came to me she was safe, loved, respected and cared for.  She did grow to trust me and feels a certain amount of feelings of security and knew I loved her.  So the thought of no longer being the person who protected her but for me to become the person that has to get hold of her and force pills inside her and put her in the carrier to go to the vet, etc, for what?  To drag her life out a few weeks?  That would just give her one more person to fear, already she freaked when I got the cat carrier out this morning.  I decided whilst she was still groggy and out to it at the vet, that they should put her to sleep whilst she was relaxed and sleepy.  some people may think I wasted my money on the x/rays but I don't feel any guilt because I KNOW she would never have been able to have real quality of life, because the x/ray showed me.  I sat there hoping they would call and say it was a blockage and they were gonna operate.  But no, she may have had cancer, fungus, anything, but to spend the rest of her short life trying to breathe would be suffering, so now she is sleeping with my other angels.  
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