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LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #281 
Hi Sue and Barb
I'm so glad to hear that you've had a couple of not too bad days Sue. I know that Bear is forever grateful for your care, but as he goes to his new family, I hope you will be able relax a little without that responsibility - and maybe find a little rest for your mind.

And thanks for the reminder about the Sunday Ceremony, I had forgotten about it - I didn't know that the words were posted though - I'm gonna look for them - I may do what you said and schedule my own time. I can't really type in the chat room anyway, it moves way too fast for me. 

Has your sweet boy been near? Have you sensed him around? I know you've been asking for a sign - needing one badly. I hope he comes to you tonight Sue, wouldn't that be awesome!!!  Looking forward to some more Rambo photos soon.

Barb, I just saw your beautiful photos - what a great trip and such precious memories. Thank you for posting them - I can feel the love between you two.  I was thinking, I have lots of pictures of Lee Lee, but I think the only ones I have of me holding her are when she was a baby.  I'm glad you have some of you and Brandy sitting together - I know they mean a lot to you. Brandy sounds like the perfect little traveling companion. Lee Lee was too, we went out to California for 3 weeks last year - she was so good. I'm sure for Brandy home was anywhere that her Mom was. 

And how wonderful that she came to your dream - yes, that was something that you could feel her but not see her. Still - what a blessing - I know it leaves you wanting that feeling of her presence again - maybe tonight!!

Sue and Barb, I hope you both have a good night and find a little peace for your hearts.
Hugs..
Melanie




ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,007
 #282 
Hi Melanie -

I meant to mention in my post to you yesterday, but forgot, that I think it's awesome you have that family dinner with your mom on Monday's.  What a nice tradition to have. 

I lost my mom about 4 years ago and I still miss her so much.  She and Brandy were so close too.  Every time we told Brandy "let's go to grandma's" she would get all excited and start dancing around.  When we got to my mom's she would jump up on her couch and grab a little toy my mom kept out for her.  It was a blue dog and she would shake that thing to pieces.  My mom would always say "don't forget to bring my little girlie" when I told her we were stopping over.  It gives me some peace now to think that they are together again and my mom is giving her the hugs that I can't now.

You are right when you said that for Brandy home is wherever we were.  She hated to be left behind and I would feel guilty leaving her home alone.  As you well know there are just places that you go that you can't bring your pet.  Another statement she liked is "Let's go to Petco, where the pets go."  It's funny how they can understand us so well.

When she was just a pup I took her to puppy class.  They did give her a diploma when the class was over.  She didn't really do that well, she was more interested in socializing with the other puppies.  But years later when I would say "Remember we went to puppy class where you learned to sit, watch and wait."  Her ears would perk up as if to say - let's go again mom.

Sorry to ramble on and on.  It just helps to remember the good times and not dwell on the last weeks of her life.

I hope you had a good day and I'm sending ((HUGS)) to you and Lee Lee.

Barb

nitsirK

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Posts: 1
 #283 
Hi All,

I lost my precious baby, Eddie, six days ago. I am overtaken with grief, remorse, and sadness. I am almost unable to carry on. I can't go into details right now because I will just start sobbing uncontrollably AGAIN. 

Please help me through this.

Love,
Kristin
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #284 
Hi,
Thanks Barb, yeah, she cooks every Monday, even homemade pies and cakes, we are all very spoiled.  I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom, that has to be so difficult. You have a very good way of thinking about it - they are together, taking care of each other, that must be a comfort in a way. Lee Lee loved my Mom, we all call her "Granny" and Lee Lee would just go crazy at the mention of her name.  Lee Lee went to Granny's for daycare for several months after we got her - 'til she got to be more that Mom could handle.

I understand completely, Lee Lee hated to be left too.  We'd always say, "You have to stay" and her little head would droop and she'd go straight to her bed in the dining room by the front window.  She'd usually still be there when we got back - her head laying of the window sill watching sometimes.  She'd go crazy when she saw us drive up - her little nose prints are still on the windows, I can't bear to clean them off.  She did get to go a lot though - we often took her to town and one of us would sit in the car while the other did the shopping.  

Please don't feel you are rambling - I so enjoy all your stories of sweet little Brandy. I hope you have a good night tonight.

Sue, how are you feeling today? I hope you've had a decent day or as good as it could be...

I wish you both a peaceful night,
Melanie


LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #285 
Hi Kristin,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Eddie. This grief is so very devastating and seems endless - I'm glad you found this forum, everyone here understands your pain because we have lost angels too. I wish there were some magic words that I could say to help - be patient with yourself, this is a long, hard, sad road that you've only just started to travel. It's been over six months for me and I'm still struggling along - but I am so thankful to have my dear friends here - they are such wonderful support. I wish you peace and comfort for your broken heart. 

Lee Lee's Mama

(Kristin, if you would like to, when you feel up to it, you can begin a topic and write about your Eddie's story -  so that more people can read about your baby and offer their words of comfort and support during this awful time - we would love to hear about him - hugs...)
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #286 
Lee Lee I Remember...

...the day you got your little pink and black boots.  We were on a family vacation several years ago in the Smokies in Tennessee, it was in January and freezing. We all went into Gatlinburg for the day, walking along, looking in all the shops and galleries and we found a "doggie" store. You were so excited because you got to go inside instead of waiting outside with me or your Daddy while everyone else went inside.

Anyway, it was very cold that day and your Aunt found those little boots and insisted on buying them for you.  We went back outside and found a bench and tried your boots on.  It was absolutely hilarious (sorry Lee Lee - but it was really cute) you didn't know quite what to make of those strange things attached to your feet.  You were walking so funny, picking each foot up REALLY high and shaking it before placing it back down and repeating it with the next foot.  Within 2-3 minutes you had attracted quite a crowd of folks standing around laughing, pointing and taking pictures of you.  One lady even asked us not to leave until she went to get her camera to record the show for her friend.  You were the "star" of Gatlinburg for the day - and you loved all the attention - such a little ham you were.  It wasn't very long before you became used to the feel of them and eventually you didn't mind wearing them at all - prissing all over Gatlinburg.  I'll always remember that day Lee Lee - you and the little pink and black boots...  

Kisses and Scratches Baby Doll...Mama luvs you err and err...

 photo 04_1_zpsd625bc42.jpg
"Lee Lee and her Boots"

(Separated 29 weeks ago today ~ but, 203 days closer to seeing you again My Angel)

ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,007
 #287 
Oh Melanie - You put a smile on my face and in my heart with that picture and the story of Lee Lee and the boots.  How cute she looks and how wonderful that she even put up with wearing them.

She was definitely a star that day!  I'm sure all of Gatlinburg was taken with her prancing around in her boots.

Such precious memories to cherish....

I sometimes think we could write novels with all the memories and good times with our angels.  I guess that's what will get us through the dark days and put smiles on our faces instead of tears.

It's a beautiful Fall day here today - about 75 degrees and sunny.  We're going to do our walk this afternoon instead of tonight and hubby is taking his fishing pole with.  This is a different small lake, and it has an arboretum where people plant trees in memory of loved ones.  Brandy loved to go there too and enjoy all the different sights and sounds.

Have a pleasant day with fond memories of your beautiful angel Lee Lee to hold close to you.

((HUGS))
Barb
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #288 
Thanks Barb, I'm glad she made you smile. You know, there are days when it is only my memories that keep me going - I'm sure you feel the same.  I do find a little peace in recording some of them  - I actually do plan to make a book for her one day.  Since you mentioned it, have you considered the same thing for your sweet Brandy?  I used to really enjoy making the photo books online - they make great keepsakes and those photos you posted are just perfect.

It is a little warmer here today - about 85, but sunny with not too much humidity, very nice.  I hope you and you husband enjoy your walk this afternoon - the location you described sounds lovely - and good luck to him with the fishing - my husband loves it too. I love the idea of planting trees in memory - wonderful idea.  We visited the arboretum outside of Asheville, NC two years ago - it was just beautiful and Lee Lee was welcome on the trails and on the grounds. Have you been there?

May the sweet memories of Brandy's visits there accompany you as you walk..

Hugs to you...
Melanie
diannblack

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Posts: 70
 #289 
Oh my goodness that it's the cutest photo! A model at a photo shoot, very smart, she looks like she should be on the cover of a glossy mag....especially with those boots! LeeLee you make me smile.
Thanks for sharing LeeLee's photo with us
Diann


sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #290 

Hi Melanie and Barb
  I havent been on the computer much the last few days,, My daughter is doing an on line ECE course,,and her computer is broken so she has been using mine.. and I hate not being able to come on this forum  Its what gets me through the day
Melanie..I love the boot story and absolutely love the picture of LeeLee  We would of never been able to get boots on Rambo...he didnt even like the coat we got him for winter...or his Halloween costumes
You are absolutely right about our memories being the only thing that keeps on going... I too..have a notebook.. that I keep writing memories of all the crazy things Rambo did  and one day soon I am going to get a good notebook and pen and write them out neater and clearer..
Wishing you both a peaceful weekend
Hugs to you both and your precious babies
Sue
Rambo's Momma

LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #291 
Diann
What a sweet comment for my girl! - Thank you so much - she was such a little ham.  I'm so glad for your smile - we have to find little bits of happiness when we can don't we - tiny, tiny little bits...

How is your brother doing Diann? and his dog - was his name Nod? - better I hope.  I was wondering if your groomer was able to find any photos of your baby, You know I'd love to see your Liffey one day if you are able to share.   I hope you are doing okay tonight (or it may be day in Australia - I'm not sure of the time difference). I know your heart is longing for your sweet little baby...

Wishing you peace and comfort - hugs...
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

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 #292 
Hi Sue,
I was just wondering how you were doing... I know what you mean about this site - I find so much comfort in talking with all of you.

Thank you bunches - I'm glad you liked the story - it is a wonderful memory of my baby.  I have so many stories in my mind - so many thoughts, so many little things.  I know what you mean about re-writing your notes - some of my hurriedly written thoughts look like scribble - but sometimes they come quicker than I can write and I don't want to lose the thought - you know?

It is amazing to me sometimes the difference in our babies - their personalities are as diverse as ours are - their likes and dislikes.  Like the coat - Lee Lee loved her coat and her sweaters, some like laying in the sun, some don't  - on and on...  What to you suppose all our angels are doing tonight?

Same here Sue, hugs and wishes for a quite weekend...Hugs...
Melanie


sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #293 
Melanie
 I think that Rambo and LeeLee and Brandy all their other new furbaby friends are lying outside looking down at us....and saying they wish their Momma's could let go of their grief and sorrow and be happy as they are at Rainbow Bridge.. happy and safe and healty again ...and that they are looking forward to the day we can all meet and have a happy reunion...and that they know how much we love them and miss them
Sue
Rambo's Momma
RustysMom

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Posts: 1,015
 #294 

Melanie,

I just adore that photo of Lee Lee & her pink & black boots ~ too precious for words really.

You (& Barb) wrote about doing a book . . . I did one of LuluBelle (aka the Beans.) She loved boxes & I have so many pictures of her & her boxes that I did a book called “Beans in a Box” and I gave it to my husband for his birthday last year. It took me months because each time I started it I’d break down. But eventually I got through it & in doing so I got to spend some special time with her. Those images (besides all the love we forever carry in our hearts,) are what sustain us through our grief.

Warm affection always,

RustysMom Allison ~ mom to Rainbow Bridge angels Rusty, LuluBelle & Bingo ~ mom to furry earth babies Woodstock, Bam Bam & Maybe & Picasso.

LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #295 
Sue,
I think you are exactly right, and I know that is what we all need to do - it is just the being able to get to that point of letting go of the sadness, guilt, regret... and trying to find some joy, some purpose again.  For me it is easier said than done, I am finding it very difficult to move forward - I guess it is just human nature to hang onto all that - but I pray we all are soon able to make some progress in the direction of happiness. I know we will eventually begin to feel better, even though we will never "get over" their loss or stop missing them - it just takes a while doesn't it?  In the beginning a friend told me to "give it six months" before expecting much change - I've come to realize that you can't put a time limit on it...
 

Allison,
Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked Lee Lee's boots - she was "The Fashionista".  What a sweet idea for your girls book and a very cute title "Beans in a Box" - I love it - big smile.  I did one two summers ago that I called "The Adventures of Rosalee - The First Seven Years" - It never even crossed my mind that there would not be the 'next seven years' editionLike you said, I know it will be extremely hard with loads of tears, but I really want to do another one, I plan to write some of my memories in there - like the boot story, and the rainbow story, along with loads of pictures.  I just have to muster enough courage to get started - I'm not there just yet though. 

To you both - Peace, blessings and sweet memories of your angels...
Melanie 
ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,007
 #296 
Hi Melanie and Sue:

Well our walk yesterday was good and not so good.  It was nice to be in that special area that Brandy enjoyed so much.  My husband didn't catch any fish, but being a fisherman he's used to that.  So while he was fishing I walked down the trail a ways and my mind started wandering and playing tricks with me.  I could swear I saw Brandy running down the trail towards me and then I just got such an empty feeling that the tears started streaming down my face.  I sat down on a little bench overlooking the water.  My husband joined me a few minutes later and I told him about the vision I had.  He felt bad too.  About 2 minutes later a beautiful Dalmatian came walking down the trail and came right up to us on the bench.  He was off leash but his owner was not far behind.  The owner said "don't worry, he's friendly."  He started wagging his tail and wanted to sit down by us.

Maybe I'm crazy but I truly think that Brandy sent him to us knowing how sad we were.  I felt a little better then.  It's funny the things that bring comfort these days. 

We are helping out our neighbors because they are camping and had to leave their dog behind.  I went to go let her out this morning and she was so glad to see me.  I almost wish I could have brought her into our house and given her some love for a while.  She looked so lonely.

I'm sure our babies are enjoying the sunshine at the bridge and playing happily.  I know that should make me happy, but I just miss Brandy's presence so much.  Saturdays are always bad for me because that's when she passed - 11 weeks ago today.  Time means nothing now.

Melanie, we've never been to that arboretum in Asheville.  In fact we've never really been to Asheville, only driven by there on our way further south.  We will have to check it out one of these days.

I may consider writing a book for Brandy.  I was in the midst of writing a memoir of my life for my kids when all this occurred with Brandy and I haven't gotten back to that writing yet.  We do have a photo book that my oldest daughter made for me on my birthday a couple of years ago that includes lots of the photos from North Carolina that I posted here.  It is one of my most treasured possessions.

Well, sorry for being so long - it's just good to talk to you and "let it all out."  Have a blessed weekend and I'm sending big hugs to you both

Barb
sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #297 
Barb..
I know what you mean about the walk be good but not good... Before Bear came for his visit... my husband and I would walk around the block that was mine and Rambo's block...and eventhough I cried almost every time..it helped in a way. Every time I left, I told Rambo that in my mind he was with me every step. And you are right,, I am sure Brandy sent the dalmation cause she knew it would be feel happy...even if it was just temporary...Its sure is funny how the least little thing can bring usgui comfort these days. My bad day is Sunday..it will be 17 weeks tomorrow for me...and I can tell by the way I am this afternoon, its probably not going to be a good Sunday
Melanie
It definately not easy to move forward.. I truly believe I never will entirely...its definately easier to say that we need to let go of the grief and guilt and sadness,,,but its another trying to accomplish it What I find funny, is we can say those things to other people,,,but when its comes down to actually doing it ourselves,,we cant.. I dont think I will ever be able to find anything remotely close to happiness again,
Wishing you ladies a lovely weekend
Sue
Rambo's Momma

sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #298 
Barb..
I know what you mean about the walk be good but not good... Before Bear came for his visit... my husband and I would walk around the block that was mine and Rambo's block...and eventhough I cried almost every time..it helped in a way. Every time I left, I told Rambo that in my mind he was with me every step. And you are right,, I am sure Brandy sent the dalmation cause she knew it would be feel happy...even if it was just temporary...Its sure is funny how the least little thing can bring usgui comfort these days. My bad day is Sunday..it will be 17 weeks tomorrow for me...and I can tell by the way I am this afternoon, its probably not going to be a good Sunday
Melanie
It definately not easy to move forward.. I truly believe I never will entirely...its definately easier to say that we need to let go of the grief and guilt and sadness,,,but its another trying to accomplish it What I find funny, is we can say those things to other people,,,but when its comes down to actually doing it ourselves,,we cant.. I dont think I will ever be able to find anything remotely close to happiness again,
Wishing you ladies a lovely weekend
Sue
Rambo's Momma

LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #299 
Hi Barb and Sue,
Barb, I agree with Sue that your Brandy orchestrated that visit for you.  And who's to know, maybe you did catch a glimpse of your girl - I've not seen Lee Lee, but others have written about brief sightings of their babies.  I know the emotion that can hit you though, I've heard her twice, that time in the dog pen (it was really just Artie) - it really just stabbed me right in the heart - for a second or two it was so real. Yes, even the smallest things can comfort and when something like the dalmatian's visit make you feel better, and bring a little comfort - I believe it is from our babies. 

During that week after Lee Lee left, I was unable to work, at home alone I did a lot of walking each day on our usual route.  Each time I went, there was a little black dog that joined me and walked along with me, always at a distance, never asking for anything - I never saw where he came from or when he left me. He just appeared and disappeared.  I had never seen him before and haven't seen him since.  I think my girl sent him to watch over me during those first days.

Sue, that is exactly the way I feel - we are able to find words to encourage others to leave behind the sadness and build a new life for themselves.  But to actually put those words into practice ourselves is near impossible isn't it?  It seems to be one of those "Do as I say - not as I do" things. Lately, it is becoming more and more difficult for me to respond positively to the posts of people wanting to hear that it will be better for them soon - I find myself feeling like a hypocrite.  I know in my heart that I will never be the same ever again - I do hope that one day I will not feel this hopeless.  Sorry for the negativity - just being honest.

By the way, I found Lee Lee's candle today, it is a white one in a little glass jar with a lid, kind of like a small candy jar.  I see her now as an angel, pure, innocent, whole, clean - white. Thank you again Sue for the lovely idea. I am taking her little jacket too I think - it smells like her still.  Barb, when are you leaving?

These sad anniversary days - weekends used to be so much better :( :( :(
~Friday, Saturday and Sunday for Lee Lee, Brandy and Rambo~ 

I hope you both feel your angels near you in a special way to help you through...I am thinking of you both.

Peace and blessings,
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #300 
Ladies ~
I forgot to mention last night's very weird dream.  In the dream, I never actually saw Lee Lee but I knew she was there at home with us. What made it so strange was that in the dream she had already passed and had come back to us for a while.  And I was aware of that in the dream - that she had passed and that she was only back for a short "visit" and I was concerned about taking more photos before her "time" was up and she had to go back. I was messing with the stupid camera instead of seeing her.  I woke up feeling really odd - sad.  What do you think?

Lee Lee's crazy Mama
carolee

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Posts: 389
 #301 
I am aware of only 1 dream since my cat Bocelli left me.  Not to say I haven't had more but I only remember one.
Sometimes I feel that he is always with me and is frustrated that I don't pet him or talk to him.
He (they) exist somewhere and in dreams we have no distractions.  Next time forget about your camera and just enjoy the time with your Lee Lee.

Carole
sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #302 
Melanie
I am so happy you found LeeLee's candle.. I was out this morning as well, and saw some candles and wondered if you had found the perfect one yet
Dont apologize for the negativity... I understand completely..its exactly how I feel as well, and I am sure every one on here does too. When is it you are on vacation.. What will I do without your wonderful comments...some days its the only thing that gets me through the day
I have Rambo's collar...I have it in a ziploc bag... so the smell stays longer..and every once in a while I take it out and smell it....its funny,,, how beautiful that smell is now,,,,
Its funny how the little things can set the emotions off again.. We live in a complex...and they just chopped down 2 trees in front of the unit 3 down from us...all the branches are still out there...well I took Bear for a walk,,,,,and thats when the water works started again..Rambo LOVED sticks...he would of thought it was Christmas out there with all those laying on the ground.....He used to bring sticks home almost daily...it was funny to watch him,,,he would have the stick in his mouth,,,his head up high,,,like he was so proud of himself for finding a stick....Some of the neighbors used to laugh at him....some of them werent sticks...they were big enough to be trees.....but he had to have them..he would put them outside the front door....and the next time he went out (even if it was the next day) he always remembered that his stick was there...and he would bring it with him on his walk...and he  couldnt pee with it his mouth for some reason...he would always drop it first... of course,, I would always pick up for him and bring it home....cause I knew he would want it later.... His Daddy wouldnt,,,or Steph either...but Momma always did....Bear, on the other hand has no clue what a stick is.....
Hugs
Sue
Rambo's Momma

diannblack

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Posts: 70
 #303 
I think you are lucky she is still with you. You were looking for the camera to catch a glimpse of her but she's not in her old body any more she's a free spirit.
I told you about my sisters dog Spike, she has been gone over 15 years...she is still important to us. Anyway, when she was a puppy my Dad was dieing, which is why I brought Spike for my sister. We had Dad at home and we used to laugh because Spike used to jump on Dads bed and annoy him. Mostly licking his face. Dad loved her and it was obvious that she loved him too. When he did die we had it at home for a few hours before the undertakers came for him. But we all knew his spirit had left us because Spike didn't once jump on his bed. I think dogs pass in a different way to us and they seem to recognize 'spirit' better then us, so perhaps unlike us they are able to wonder to and from heaven. Spike knew Dad's
body was not 'him', he had left. This helped us....I wonder if she found him in heaven. Think about the spirit behind those big sparkling eyes, look for that because that is what you didn't 'see' but felt in your dream.
Are dogs angels in disguise??? When they alive they are our shadows, so perhaps they are our guardian angels, sometimes they are spirits sometimes they take a physical form....who knows but there has to be a reason why we have just a huge connection to them that goes goes beyond our connections with other humans.
Australia is on the opposite side of the planet, when you have day we have night....I'm thinking about this as I will be in Denver next week for a conference and I hate hate hate jet lag.
Melanie, LeeLee is helping me too, thank you for introducing us.
Diann
sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #304 
Melanie and Barb
I just want to apologize for my ramblings on.. i start on planning on answering your posts and then it turns out I start rambling on and on.... but thanks for listening
Hugs
Sue
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #305 
Carole~
Thanks, It was a really strange deal, I was outside with the camera and she was just inside the open door with her Daddy - but I couldn't see her. I've already asked her to come again and give me another chance. I think it is just wonderful for you that you feel your angel Bocelli near you all the time though - what a sweet blessing for you.


Diann~
You may have something there...about the spirit vs the body and feeling her instead of seeing her - maybe that is the symbolism there - Thank you - I sure hope she comes back soon, I'd be grateful to "see" her again.  
I'm sorry about you Dad - Diann, my Daddy died many years ago too. The behavior of Spike after your Dad passed is fascinating - they just know somehow don't they. I take some comfort in the belief that my Daddy was there when Lee Lee arrived - even though they never met - I believe they knew each other. So I'm sure that your Dad and Spike and Liffey too are together now.

I've been reading a little about the ability that some people to connect in some way with our angels that have passed over. Many writings speak of a thinner "curtain" or "veil" separating this life and the afterlife for them giving their spirits the ability to pass back and forth - where the human "curtain" is thicker, denser.  I'm not really sure all about that - but I do know that I've had some things happen that I can not explain.  So maybe they are our guardian angels as you say?  I just know that Lee Lee and I are connected in a way unlike any other in my life - it is very, very strong - I know that she hears me.
Thank you Diann - I appreciate your insight so much. I hope your trip is safe and uneventful. Be careful...


Sue~
First of all, don't you apologize - after all the novels I have written... I won't hear of it.  I look so forward to hearing from you - it helps me so much just knowing that you are there to listen and understand - I know Barb feels the same.  Your ideas are awesome - like the ziplock bag!!!! I hadn't though of that - I'm gonna put hers in one too.  I want to preserve the scent as long as possible - they say that scents are very powerful for bringing back memories of particular moments, sometimes more than even photos.

I loved your story of Rambo and the sticks - I could just picture him trying to carry home a big old tree limb. I'm sure he has a stash of branches at the bridge - Can't you just see Rambo with his stick and Lee Lee with her pretty following the Angels around showing off their prizes. :) both so proud.  Lee Lee was the same about remembering where she left things. She love those rawhide "sticks", sometimes she'd want to bring them when we walked, but I wouldn't let her - I'd take them and lay them on the counter or bench or somewhere - and just like Rambo, she'd go straight back to where they were and whine until I got it down for her. And sometimes she'd carry her sticks around the yard, but if she saw a squirrel she'd throw it down and take off running.  And like you, I'd pick it up - when she had put the squirrel up a tree, she'd remember and come to me and look up as if to say "OK - I'm ready - give it back" - we Moms had to look out for our babies didn't we - I miss that so much and I know we all do. 

Ok, here I go now, writing on and on....all our precious memories....  We leave on vacation October 11th and return the 20th - I probably won't be on here as much, but I'll have my computer with me - and I'll be checking in.  I'll be needing a lot of support that week - too many memories to face - I'm not looking forward to going back there, but I must.  Thank you Sue...

Peace and Hugs to each of you...
Melanie
 

ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,007
 #306 
Good morning Melanie and Sue -

Here we are, another weekend and thoughts of our precious babies.

Melanie, I like the story about the little black dog following you on your walks the first week that Lee Lee was gone.  I'm sure it was sent by Lee Lee to make sure you were OK.  And you are right, I think Brandy sent the dalmatian for us.  And about the dream, I don't think you were meant to take her picture.  I think she wanted you to just know she was there.  Kind of like the dream I had where I saw the leash, but couldn't see Brandy.  I just felt her presence.

Sue, I love the story of the sticks that Rambo would pick up.  Brandy was into sticks when she was a pup, but not so much when she was older.  She had these little bones that we used to call "good bones."  I don't know what they were made of, but she used to chew and chew on them until they were down to just nubs.  They don't make them any more.  Come to think of it I think they were called "Booda bones" or something like that.  She wasn't that crazy about those nylabones.  She even got picky about which treats she liked.  She was definitely a spoiled little girl.

And also Sue, don't worry about rambling - you aren't.  I enjoy reading everything because it sure helps me.  I also feel I start out writing and then go off on a tangent and it ends up being longer than I intended.

We leave for vacation on the 16th and back on the 31st.  I'll have my computer with me too, so hopefully we can still connect.  It will be bittersweet for us too, since the last time we went to that area in October Brandy was with us.  By the way, Melanie, it's interesting that you were thinking of bringing something of Lee Lee's with you on vacation.  I had the same thought, in fact I asked my hubby if he thought we should bring Brandy's ash urn with us.  We decided no, she will stay here and watch the house for us, but we will take something, either her collar or her brush that still has her little hairs in it.  I just need something of hers with us.

I wish you both a peaceful and blessed Sunday - hugs to you both.

Barb
sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #307 
Melanie and Barb
 Thank both so much for listening.. Not sure what I would do without the two of you.. It certainly does help make me feel better reading stories about your precious furbabies.
Barb...Rambo used to bring sticks home every walk when he was a puppy...well the first couple years...then the last couple of years,,,it would be only once in a while but he was still just a puppy...(4 1/2)
Melanie.. I think that LeeLee just wanted you to know that eventhough  you cant physically  see her,,she is always with you
I think animals sense things and that is why the little black dog followed you,,as well as why the dalmation stopped to say hello. The day Rambo left (he left at 730am and we kept him in the house till my daughter got home from camping around 1pm)..My husband and I spent alot of time standing outside the house...the little dog 2 over from us,,,who normally runs wild through our complex....sat between where him and I were standing and wouldnt leave our side..even after we came in, her Dad told us that she stayed at our front door...then the  house next to theirs  has a 7 year old light brownish colour lab/mix...for the longest time since Rambo left(and occasionally now) every time I left the house,,he would come over to me and I had to pet him....he never did that before
Its like they knew we were grieving and upset about losing Rambo and wanted to try to make us feel better
I hope you ladies have wonderful vacations...I know LeeLee and Brandy will we watching over you
Barb..Just as I told Melanie, Rambo will be taking extra special care of Brandy and LeeLee while you are away
Hugs
Sue
Rambo's Momma
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #308 
Love your pic of LeeLee with her boots on, she sure was posing for the camera. It so reminded me of Max he did the very same thing when he got his first pair of boots, but after that he loved them it kept his toes warm in the winter. What wonderful memories you have of your LeeLee. Hope you have a wonderful vac. and we will miss your words to there awsome.   ((hugs))  maxsMandD
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #309 
Hi Everyone,

~MaxsMandD,
Thank you for the sweet comments for my angel - our memories help get us through the days don't they.  And thanks for the vacation wishes - it won't be the same without my baby though.  I'll have my computer because I'm gonna need some support to make it thru the week - I just hope I have good signal.  I hope you both have a peaceful week  and feel your little Max nearby...

~Sue and Barb,
You both said what I was thinking and hoping about my dream - that makes me feel better :) Thank You.   Barb, I'd forgotten about your dream, yes very similar - we both felt them without seeing them. Maybe we all can have a dream soon when we can hold our babies again - wouldn't the be just awesome!!

I was outside today working on Lee Lee's spot and I took a photo and put it on my computer - I go out there every evening to visit and talk to her and I was thinking that I could look at the photo as a way of connecting with her while we are gone. The candle Sue, something that was hers and the photo - I'm like you Barb - I just need something with me. 

I really do think that our angels are very in tune to our feelings and know a lot more than most people give them credit for.  I feel sure the little black dog was sent by Lee Lee to walk with me and keep me company when I was all alone that 1st week.  Barb, same with the Dalmatian - sent by Brandy to help bring comfort to you both. And Sue, the two dogs in your complex certainly came to be with you on that awful day, Rambo knew you needed support.  We are supposed to be the "superior beings" but our angels know, feel and can make things happen on a higher plane than us - very amazing isn't it!  

I hope this week is peaceful for everyone.
Melanie
chelleco

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Posts: 2
 #310 
Hello everyone,
My name is Michelle, and I just want to thank you all for being here. I lost my "Buddy" (Golden) this morning, and i am overcome with sadness, guilt, and exhaustion....(stayed with him thru the night)...I am so thankful to have found all of you, and will check back soon. (Too tired..) Peace and Blessings to all of you...
Michelle T.
Denver, CO
Mihaela

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Posts: 175
 #311 
Dear Melanie,

I was just dropping by to see how everyone is doing and I have to say LeeLee is just precious in that picture (well, in other pics too, but this one and the story of the boots brought a smile on my face). I can totally relate to what you were saying, about finding it increasingly difficult to post encouraging comments when you yourself are still struggling. I've only had bad or wierd dreams about Rufus so far and I couldn't see him in any of them, so your dream sounds rather comforting. I think Diann may have hit onto the right interpretation, perhaps LeeLee is telling you she's always around and you just have to be more open to feeling her. I remember a couple of years ago, after my Grandpa passed away, I dreamt about him and in my dream I knew he had passed, but wasn't at all startled by his presence. Just like you, I was messing with a camera and trying to take his picture, but kept failing.
Hugs, hope you have a good and peaceful holiday!
diannblack

Registered:
Posts: 70
 #312 
Oh Michelle, I'm so sorry for your loss, stay with us here. I came here 4 weeks ago when I lost my furry baby, Liffey ....just knowing that there were people out there who understood my pain got me through the days since I lost my Liffey. I just wish I could do something to help reduce your pain in some way. I'm so sorry, so so sorry....
Hugs
Diann
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,821
 #313 
Michelle,
My deepest sympathy for your loss of Buddy.  The feelings you mention are common to almost everyone here. Certainly we are all grieving the loss of a precious angel.  I'm glad you found PetLoss - you are among friends who understand how very hard this road is.  Please, continue to read and if you feel up to it, share some stories of your Buddy we us.  I hope you find peace and comfort for your aching heart soon. 

Lee Lee's Mama (Melanie)


LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #314 
Dear Mihaela,
Thank you Sweetie for stopping in and for your lovely comments for my baby - she was always ready to strike a pose for the camera. It makes me feel glad that she gave you a smile - right now, at least for me, those are few and far between.  I looked back at your album of your handsome Rufus - I love his markings - very striking, he looks snow white.  I know you must miss him very much.

Yes! you described it better than I did - "...I knew he had passed, but wasn't at all startled by his presence." - that is how it felt.  And you had a camera as well - very interesting...  I've had only one other dream about her - in that one, she was little again and I was holding her like a baby - I didn't want it to end.  

Thank you for the holiday wishes - I hope this week brings you peace as well and a lovely dream visit from your precious Rufus.
Hugs
Melanie

Mihaela

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Posts: 175
 #315 
Michelle, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I wish I knew the right words to bring you some comfort, but there aren't any... Nothing can take away the raw pain we feel when we lose our fur babies, but perhaps sharing it with people who understand can make it a little more bearable. Hugs, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Thank you for your wishes, Melanie, a happy dream visit would be most welcome, especially as I had another one of the bad/wierd dreams last night. Hugs!
ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,007
 #316 
Hi Melanie and Sue -

Well another weekend has passed and we got through it.  Day by day we walk this journey together.  I really liked Anne's "Letter to you" that she posted.  I think she was right on and very insightful.

Tomorrow is October and usually my favorite month of the year.  I don't know how to feel this year - I want to feel the joy of the changing leaves and crisp, cool days.  Somehow it just all seems pointless this year.  We did put up a few Halloween decorations on the front porch with lights, etc.  Just trying to make ourselves feel SOMETHING.

We spent the day yesterday at my oldest daughter's giving some love to her Lab, Rocco.  I just miss having a dog to take care of.  It was good to give him hugs and such, but made me miss Brandy so much because she always came with us to my daughter's.  Oh well, I guess it's the new "norm."

We are still talking about fostering, adopting or possibly getting another cockapoo puppy.  We won't do anything until after the 1st of the year though.  I am just SO torn - I know lots of dogs need homes, but Brandy was such a wonderful dog that getting the same breed would be so tempting.  I'm just afraid we would start making too many comparisons.  I guess we could get a totally different color dog and maybe a little boy this time instead of a girl.  Any thoughts?  You two are my touchstones and your opinions mean a lot to me.

Here I am rambling again.....

I do think, Melanie that our dogs are a higher power than us.  They can feel things and know things that we don't.  My mom passed away in our house and when my mom was so sick, Brandy was just pacing by her bed and always wanted to be up on the bed with her.  But the day my mom passed away Brandy just stayed away but was still very restless.  I think our pets can see beyond this world to the next.

Have a peaceful day and enjoy your family dinner tonight, Melanie.

Barb
sharkey905

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Posts: 284
 #317 

Melanie and Barb

Another weekend gone and we did survive, somewhat anyway... Yes,, Anne'e letter was totally amazing...I loved it
Oct has been a bad month for me for years,,,I lost a baby in Oct 1995..and my sister's 19 year old stepson (father of a 1 year old son) was killed in Oct 2005....and this morning I woke up dreading tomorrow.. I dont know how I am going to get through this month this year...thinking of Rambo and his last 2 halloweens--his  costumes...and him and his Daddy going out to see the kids and get treats (which he did from a few neighbours).so we will see if I make it through this month

Barb... we have talked about getting a new puppy after the new year as well. My daughter thinks it should be now,,but I still need a few months to try to get back to normal (or as normal as I can be now)
We love labs and do want another one...it probably will be a chocolate one this time.. I think another black would be too hard... My husband wants another male dog..but I truly think we need a female....I would never be able to call the new dog the names that I called Rambo,,, my Puppy Boy,, Momma's baby boy...so I think the opposite would be best

I was talking a few weeks ago to a friend of mine...she has had a few dogs over the years...shes always gone with different breeds after each passed for that reason..but she said that in the beginning she still tried to compare them...but she said after a few weeks,, she realized that she couldnt do that...it wasnt fair to the dog...and eventhough she was against getting the last one a few years ago...she says she is now very happy that she did

Hoping you both have a wonderful week
Sue
Rambo's Momma





diannblack

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Posts: 70
 #318 
Hi Barb
I'm miles away from getting another pet so perhaps I shouldn't be giving any thoughts about this issue......but think of it this way, if Brandy was still physically with you would she want a friend? If she still with you spiritually would she want you to have someone to love? If she was a caring loving furry friend (and I'm sure she was) wouldn't she want another pet to experience your love? You could get the same type of dog the same colour etc but as you know each dog has a different personality, so what if you compare the two it just means they are different and you love them as separate babies.
I love dogs, but the pain is just too intense for me yet to go there, but maybe next year.....maybe
Diann
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,821
 #319 
Hi Ladies,

Yes, Anne's letter was great - she said a lot that I think - but couldn't figure out how to put into words.  Sue, I'm so sorry, no wonder you are dreading October - so many sad times in the past and so many memories of your sweet boy now. Do you think you'll stay home for the 31st or get out of the house for the night?

I always loved October too Barb, but the magic is gone this year.  I just want to get thru October and the holidays... I have a bunch of fall decorations - they will just stay in the boxes this year - maybe next year - but I admire your efforts so much.

I admire your courage in considering another dog.  I've almost always had just stray dogs - I only ever had 4-5 purebred dogs over the years - but I think if I had to make a decision - I would have to go with another breed, color and sex so as not to be tempted to make comparisons - even though the might look very similar - they are different little souls and personalities. I could see myself doing that too Sue - calling a little girl by Lee Lee's pet names - that would be hard for me. But I also think you will know when the time is right and which angel is right for you.  I think you'll be directed to the right choice.

Yes, Barb - that is just another perfect example (your Mom and Brandy) of how they know and feel more than we could ever imagine.  Thanks for remembering our Monday dinner...

I hope you all have a good evening... with angel dreams tonight...
Melanie


SharG

Registered:
Posts: 534
 #320 
Hi Melanie! Any more signs from LeeLee? I think of Felix and Oscar many times every day and have fallen into the trap of using their special names for Sebastian. I know he isn't a replacement, he is just himself. I think the bridge babies are OK with it, they know how much I love them and always will. They don't mind that I'm giving love and a home to another boy do they?

I think part of it is that Sebastian does things that remind me so much of them. I refuse to believe in reincarnation. They do each have a soul of their own and are waiting for us to rejoin them. But I think maybe their spririts are close by and they show the new baby(ies) how to make us smile!

Sharon
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