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ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,010
 #441 
Oh Melanie - There are no words.  You know what is in my heart though.  Your beautiful baby will forever be with you because love never ends.

Lee Lee is with you always, even though you can't see her, she can see you and will watch over you and send you signs and dreams.

My prayers are with you today as you remember the most precious gift ever given to you.

Hugs,
Barb
Bedomom

Registered:
Posts: 1,434
 #442 
Happy Eight Month Bridge Day, Triumphant Little Beautiful Blessing, Oh Double L, you are so sweet and so pure in every gesture.  Looking at you I visualize pure simple love, an old fashion kind of way.  You are so simple but yet so unique, I know Mama is missing and loving you dearly every second of her life since your bridge day.  Distance does make the heart grow fonder and love for her to you can only grow stronger as time goes by.  Double L, have a blast up there with the Big B and little B and all your angel friends.  Tell them that I am sending them my love and beautiful thoughts and to all the angels up there.  Last but not least, I just want to say I love you little Pure Angel! Please send her more blessing and I know you are famous for that!
Hug Hug to you and LeeLeesMama
maxsMandD

Registered:
Posts: 1,270
 #443 
Happy 8th month Bridgeday sweet LeeLee, your pictures of her are wonderful Melanie. I hope your week was not to bad and I understand the pain your going through all those firsts are so hard but I'm starting to think maybe the 2nd's are not going to be that great either, like you losing that one in a million sweet babe is so hard. Our heart goes out to you and sweet dreams of your prescious LeeLee...       ((hugs))    maxsMandD  '' forever''
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #444 
Dear Sweet Lee Lee,

Your sweet spirit is celebrated this special day and always at the beautiful Rainbow Bridge, with your pals and also here on earth as your mom always carries you in her heart. You are a beautiful soul who continues to give and share in so many ways, and we are so blessed to be getting to know you better! You were so cute in your 'winter garb'...how did you ever keep those booties on? I could never teach Buddy to do that - he would always chew at his and also wrestle out of his sweaters no matter how cold...

Your mom loves you endlessly, little one - her pictures of you are so beautiful and she is counting the days until you are together once again, for always. Please send her a little sign soon, to let her know you are close and watching over her, angel baby girl...

Hugs to you and your loving mom,

Elise, Buddy's mom
DarrenS

Registered:
Posts: 156
 #445 
Happy 8th month bridge day sweet sweet LeeLee hope you had a wonderful day with all your friend and I'm sure my Spencer will of been there for your party, if you get chance send your mammy a nice sign just so she knows your doing ok.

Hi Melanie

Hope your doing as well as can be expected My friend, the first are so hard and the second and thirds ect ect...
But I think it always was going to be when we had to say goodbye to our Soulmates our once in a life time furbabies, our children.
May you find peace one day my friend your in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care, bye for now

DarrenS
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #446 
Hi Everyone...This anniversary was so, so hard for me - I guess in part because the days "matched" up - but your wonderful support has helped me pull myself back together.  If you read about my Lee Lee and thought of us or said a prayer I thank you so much.  And if you wrote words of support and understanding - please know that they mean the world to me.

~~

Sue~ I know that Friday was a hard day for you - your little Rambo's 5th birthday. Lee Lee said the party was a blast and Rambo shared his treats with everyone - what a sweet boy.  Thank you my friend - hugs to you...

Teresa~ I truly would give all I have for one more day, one more hour with my angel - as I know you would for Marley - our sweet girls.  I'm trying to think of it that way, that she is not left behind - but gone ahead....Thank you.

Sue(Mandy's Mom)~ Thank you for thinking of us - she is my silly girl for sure.  Mandy and Lee Lee - two of God's special blessings sent to us for a wonderful if all too short time - no matter how long it was.  Hugs..

Mihaela~ Thank you for remembering my girl - I hope that one day the first thoughts of our angels will be happy ones - not these horrible memories of their last days that play like over and over like a stuck record.  I know the awful weight of guilt Sweetie, I wish you peace.  Rufus loves you...

Barb~ I do know my friend, I know.  It is true, our love for them does not end, it grows stronger in fact. Thank you for your much needed prayers and for helping me remember my baby.  Brandy and Lee Lee - our two very special gifts. 

Bedomom~ You describe her perfectly, pure, sweet, simple - that is my baby.  I know that Lee Lee and her "B" boys are having a great time at the bridge.  Thank you for your sweet words - hugs...

MaxsMandD~ I'm so glad that you like her pictures, each one holds special, cherished memories for me.  I can't imagine the 2nd's are any easier that the 1st's - thinking of your Max and my Lee Lee - each a one in a million.  Thank you...

Elise~ Ahhh - you found her winter photo - she sure did love that old jacket. You know, the boots stayed on very well - she would walk funny for a few steps at first and then forget all about them. With thoughts of Lee Lee and her friend Buddy - Thank you for your sweet words...

Darren~ I know this week has been difficult for you too.  I think we will always remember "that" day - I just hope the it won't always be this raw and cut our hearts so deeply.  I wish you peace as well my friend - your little Spencer is a special little angel. Thank you...

I am grateful for each of you - hugs...
Melanie


My Little Lee Lee always finds a way to come to me when I am so very low - somehow...  A couple of months ago, I commissioned a portrait of my baby - it arrived on Friday - my beautiful angel...  and brought a smile to my heart. I wanted to share it with you tonight...

(Most of you would recognize the artist as she is one of "us" here - please feel free to message me if you would like her name...) photo 698386e9-70e6-4bf6-ae43-3ab4b42b4cfb_zps4f3092a8.jpg

[image]




EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #447 
Dear Melanie, 

This portrait of Lee Lee is just beautiful! I'm so glad it brings a smile to your heart to have this wonderful likeness of your sweet angel girl and it keeps her that much closer. I often think of her and all of our wonderful babies playing together and happier than they have ever been. They are waiting for us, even though time is so very different for them now but what is so amazing and miraculous is they still find little ways to let us moms and dads know they are watching over us and very much with us.

Thank you for sharing so much about your sweet Lee Lee - hugs to Mama and angel Lee Lee! 

Elise, Buddy's mom (forever)
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #448 
Dear Elise~
You are so sweet - I'm glad you liked her portrait - thanks for remembering us, for your beautiful words and for the hugs - they mean to much to me.  When I think of her happily playing with Buddy, Bedo and all their friends it brings a little peace. I hope you are feeling your baby nearby in a special way tonight. We miss them don't we.

Returned hugs to you and your precious boy,
Melanie
Bedomom

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Posts: 1,434
 #449 
LeeLeesMama
The portrait of Lee Lee is so beautiful she is a real classic beauty. I am thinking of you and hope you doing better each day. I know the feeling will never go away as we want to remember our babies with love and what they have given us is irreplaceable. When I think of our angel up there being together in harmony I feel at peace.
Hugs to you and DL
Bedomom




LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,833
 #450 
Dear Bedomom,
Thank you so much!  I think she is beautiful too - she is one of a kind - that's for sure.  You know Bedomom, I believe you are right we do want to remember our babies with love. I pray we can all reach that place in our hearts and minds where the love shines so brightly and strongly that all the bad memories, sadness and guilt all fade into the background. I know that our Angels are having a wonderful time together today...I hope you have a peaceful day also.  Remember Bedo loves his Mom....so much.

Hugs
DL's Mama
myah

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #451 
What gentle eyes she had, so beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss, she sounds amazing. May you find comfort and strength.
prayers
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #452 
Myah~
"Gentle eyes"...what sweet words for my angel - Thank you!  It means so much to me that you would visit Lee Lee and me when your own loss is so terribly new.  You are among friends here - I hope you can feel that we care and wish you the very best. Please come here as often as you want to - we would love to hear more about your baby and maybe see a photo if you feel up to sharing. I know how you hurt - I wish you comfort and peace...

Hugs...
Melanie
Lee Lee's Mama...always


LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #453 
Lee Lee I remember....

....when you were little.

You were my sweet little Angel....well...you still are.  But 9 years ago you really were little - I've been thinking a lot about those days lately.  You were a very good little girl, very smart - but very, very wild.  Before you started coming to work with me each day - you stayed at your Granny's during the day.  We'd drop you off each morning and it was usually dark by the time we picked you up and got home. So, the evenings were spent trying to use up all that energy so you would sleep.

We didn't have any other dogs living with us until December of that first year when "Skinny" showed up - so we were your playmates.  We'd get down on the living room rug with you and play and play, wrestling, tug of war, tossing toys for you to retrieve and tear up. You'd bark and growl in that little puppy voice and you loved to chew - I remember well those little teeth - they were so sharp.  Your little toys had a rough time - I re-stuffed them so many times.

By bedtime you were one tired little angel.  I'd rock you off to sleep and put you in your little bed and you'd sleep all night - you were the best little baby.  Once though, you woke up before we did...you must have been bored but you entertained yourself - you chewed up the wall, peeling little strips off the sheetrock in a tiny spot just above the baseboard - it was your only destruction.  We never had it repaired - now we probably won't - we'll just leave it...like you left it.

I miss those days my little Angel.  We called you Rosie back then, you weren't big enough to be a Rose, a Rosalee or a Lee Lee yet..... Precious memories of my sweet little Rosie.

I miss you little Rosie....so much...
[image] photo 52d90993-0542-4bf5-83e1-c41c17474df9_zpsd3d41d17.jpg A tired little baby....

Mama luvs you err and err...Kisses and Scratches My Little Rosie...

(Separated 36 weeks ago today ~ but, 252 days closer to seeing you again)

ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,010
 #454 
Dear Melanie:

Your little angel Rosie is so cute and she turned into an amazing soul known as Lee Lee.  She couldn't have picked a better mama than you to spend her life with.

Those puppy days seem to go by so fast, just like a blur.  I wish I could recapture those days with Brandy.  Her photographs help us to go back and remember just what a joy she was.

Thank you for sharing your precious memories with all of us -

Sending (((((HUGS)))) your way and to Rosie (Lee Lee) too - from Brandy and Miriam.

Barb
Bedomom

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Posts: 1,434
 #455 
LeeLeesMama,
Thank you for sharing the sweet memories of Lee Lee, she is so small, The Mini Beautiful Blessing has blossomed into the Beautiful Lee Lee.  How time flies, when we  think back, it just like yesterday! These beautiful memories will be together forever, our babies are juts so precious...Lee Lee had been living a life a Princess and LeeLessMama, you are the one who has made her dream come true as you are the best mom for her.  I know She will continue to be your  Beautiful Blessing from Heaven.
Hugs
Bedomom  
sharkey905

Registered:
Posts: 284
 #456 
Oh Melanie
such an adorable picture of LeeLee...I love the different names,, Rosie, Rose, Rosalee, LeeLee
Barb is right,,,, our pictures of our precious babies help us to remember 
Sue
Rambo's Momma
and Bens too
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #457 
Dear Barb~ 
They don't stay little for long do they, our sweet babies...they grow so fast, before you know it they are not little any longer. I do treasure my photographs - and I have "pictures" in my mind to match them - I know you too have so, so many precious puppy memories of your Brandy angel - I bet she was a tiny little ball of fur!  We were both blessed to be Mama's to our girls Barb - blessed beyond measure, and now you are a Mom again to beautiful Miriam, more blessings...for you and her...

Dear Bedomom~
I sure doesn't seem like nine years ago that she was my "Mini Beautiful Blessing".  I can remember so clearly her little puppy ways - she was a live wire - but she learned pretty quickly just how to get what she wanted -  she'd put her ears back and give a little whine - and I'd do pretty much anything she wanted.  Our babies certainly are precious Bedomom - each and every one one them is a special angel. Your beloved little Bedo - I want to say he is beautiful too - but maybe he wouldn't like that - so I'll say he is a very handsome boy - his Mom's little heart.

Dear Sue~
I glad you liked her picture - she was so worn out - she used to sleep like that a lot. Even as she got older I'd find her in the mornings upside down on the couch - wagging that tail.  Her name was ever evolving it seemed - she had those plus probably 8-10 more and she knew them all.  I hope your sweet little Ben is still doing good and bringing you smiles and purpose again into your life.  I'd love to see him sometime - I know he is just the cutest angel - picked special for you by your Rambo.

Thank you my friends...Hugs...
Melanie


EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #458 
Dear Melanie, 

That is just the sweetest cutest picture of your little Rosie gal...she looks so tired and completely and utterly content from all the playing...just love how her little paws are so expressive and her sweet little face...absolutely adorable! I can just picture you rocking your baby to sleep at night and tucking her in - so nice that you have these baby memories of your precious girl. 

Thank you for continuing to share you special times and memories of Lee Lee...it's so nice you remember her little puppy growls and barks during her many play times with you!

Lee Lee - please soak up all of Mama's kisses and scratches...she is thinking of you all the time and you are forever in her heart little one...

LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #459 
Dear Elise,
You say the sweetest things - I appreciate your friendship so much as we travel this road of grief. Yes, her little feet are so sweet - I miss those precious little feet and that sweet smile.  She is on my mind constantly - is it hard to think of anything or anyone else.  She was my world for so long and it is not an easy task to rebuild my life and find some purpose, some meaning again.  

As you mentioned, our babies always find the perfect way of connecting with us, reminding us that even though we can't see them - we are not at all forgotten. I shutter to think of how much more difficult this would be without those precious moments when we "feel" them near, or "know" in our hearts that we've received a sign from them.  It is truly a blessing isn't it? Today I had a ladybug light on me - right over the necklace with Lee Lee's fur that I wear each day.  I read one time that if one lands on you and is caught and released that she goes to the one you love and whispers your name to them (or something like that) - I hope that is true...that Lee Lee heard my name today...

I had to smile at the story of your Bud and his two frisbees - what a clever boy. Do you think he was saying "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo" - we used to say that when we were kids and had something the other one wanted - Do you remember that?  What a priceless memory for you - thank you for sharing it - he sure loves his frisbees - I wouldn't be a bit surprised it he has his favorite one clenched firmly in his teeth when he races to meet you on that day - your sweet Lamb and his frisbee and Lee Lee will have the most beautiful pretty for me... what a day!!!

We made it thru another day Elise...I hope your boy comes to visit your dreams tonight.... and I hope your Sunday is peaceful...Hugs...
Melanie
Mihaela

Registered:
Posts: 175
 #460 
Melanie,

I love Lee Lee's portrait, I think it vividly captures her beautiful soul, and it makes perfect sense that she found her way to you in that shape when you were sad and low. She's just the cutest thing in that picture from her puppy days. Your memories of her are so heart-warming, I hope remembering those happy days helps you through rougher patches on this long road of grief. Hugs to you and may you feel your sweet girl near in days to come!
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #461 
Hi Melanie,
This will be my 1st post here. I stumbled across this website because I just didn't know what else to do. I could have clicked on any message but I chose yours. Maybe because I am Patches Mommy. I am devastated,heartbroken, and inconsolable. I had no idea this kind of immense pain existed. Patches is MY baby, my daughter, my sweet angel, my heart, my everything.
I'm sobbing uncontrollably as I write this. It's 5:30 in the morning here a and I've just spent all night reading and crying over all 900 of your posts. I think maybe it's possible that you love your sweet precious Lee Lee as I much as I do my princess Patches. I can't sleep, eat, drink, smile, or feel anything. It's just plain horrible. Reading your story of Lee Lee all night has given me hope. From your first post to your last I was hoping to hear that it gets easier, I just can not feel this way forever. Thank you for sharing your story as it did help me tonight. It's cold, rainy, and now I think the sun is coming up. It's been 24 days that my princess isn't here. Last week I almost thought it was going to be okay but it's just been way worse. Patches saved me the same way It sounds like Lee Lee saved you. ...
I was 19 years old, young, alone, pregnant, and absolutely scared. My boyfriend told me there was a sign at the mailbox saying free easter kittens. I wasn't even sure if I needed a cat being pregnant and all. But I called that # anyway. She told me " oh sorry Hun,they are all gone... It's just the runt of the litter left and you don't want her". 6 months pregnant I walked over to her house. I can't for the life of me remember what that lady looked like. She told me the cat had hid under the china hutch. I got down on all fours pregnant and all. When I saw those little green eyes glowing at me.....she's owned my heart and forever and always will. I didn't work at that time and my boyfriend worked 2 jobs to take care of us. I really was all alone all of the time. I had Patches and she had me. We took care of each other from that day on. She truly was my first sweet baby, my pretty little sweet girl, my best friend.She would actually jump in the shower with me when I was pregnant and play in the water. After my son was born she looked after and protected him like you wouldn't believe. It put me to tears with the love she had of "her boy". I am sobbing now.... Where did 17 years go? I always knew she wouldn't live forever but having her gone is something I never could have prepared for. I'm physically ill. I miss her so much, there are not words to describe how bad I'm hurting. Nights are just cruel now. Patches would sleep on me every single night between my arm and my chest. I suppose that's why I'm out here on the couch alone crying and missing her something horrible. Her white fur is everywhere, her foodbowl untouched, I won't even touch her liter box.... How sad is that. I see her EVERYWHERE.... Ive never cried this much or hurt this bad in my life. They really really are our children. I can't imagine feeling any worse if God forbid something happened to my son! He just turned 16..... He misses his "sister" too. It's just depressing here. I feel silly telling you all this, I don't even know you, but I feel like I do. You are good good people Melanie. Lee Lee is very lucky you are her mommy. I'm sure you are sleeping now, hopefully Lee Lee is saying hi to you tonight. I loved your stories and pictures of your girl. That sweet face, stop it! I'm glad I came here tonight, well 6 hours ago. Suns up here now and I have to force myself to sleep for as long as my heart will let me anyway. It's opening my eyes again that is cruel. Thank you so so much for letting me tell you about my baby. My beautiful sweet sweet princess Patches.... 02.07.97~ 10.24.13
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #462 
Mihaela,
Thank you so much Sweetie - I think her portrait is just perfect!  Remembering her when she was little takes me back to precious days for sure and gives me a few moments relief.  I hope that you are able feel some peace as well when you recall all the smiles Rufus brought to your heart - I know you miss your boy, your Sweet Prince, so much. I know he is a kitty and Lee Lee is a doggie - but I'm sure that they are buddies now at the Bridge.

Hugs
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #463 
Hi Jamie,
I am so, so sorry for your loss of your beloved Patches - I know your heart is just broken. You two were meant for each other - I love what you said "...she's owned my heart and forever and always will. - you needed each other.  I'm so glad that you found this wonderful site - everyone here knows the pain of loss - you are among friends who care.  Sweetie, I truly do know how bad you hurt, how much you miss your little Patches and how much you long to see her again - I understand it all.  This awful grief, the loss of a baby is just devastating, it is all consuming, you can think of nothing else but your little angel, your world just stops - it just seems unbelievable that she is gone - like you are living in a horrible nightmare that you can't wake up from. Some will say they are "just a cat" or "just a dog" - but these precious little souls - they most certainly are our children, I can't imaging loving a human child any more than I did my little Lee Lee - she was my life. 

What you describe, not sleeping, not eating, feeling numb - I understand all of it - it is hard to carry on when your heart has just been shredded into a million pieces. You are in the most horrible depths of grief and I know that eating is next to impossible right now, but at least try to drink, maybe eat some crackers (I lived on them for weeks) - your baby would want you to try to take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel and to cry - your precious Patches deserves to be mourned - you loved her so deeply - your grief for her can't be any less that just as deep - she was with you almost half your life.  I never was a "cryer" either - but that has changed now, and I still cry every day. There truly is no way to ever prepare for this...it just brings you to your knees.

What an honor for me and Lee Lee that you took the time to read our story - I can't tell you what that means to me - thank you for your loving words about my angel and your kind words for me.  I hope that you will continue to visit PetLoss - it has helped me so much to have this opportunity to write about my little angel - to record some of my memories and to read the replies of those who really do understand - I have made some wonderful friends. Maybe you would find some comfort in sharing some of your precious memories - I know that you have 17 years of beautiful stories of her life and love - please do start a tread an share her life - I would love to get to "know" your baby through the words of her Mommy. 

I'm glad you felt comfortable "talking" to me Jamie - we are "kindred" spirits - we have both lost our little girls. The one thing that I hold onto is my belief that we will see our babies again one day - that is what keeps me going, it gives me a reason to keep trying. I believe my baby is perfectly content and waits patiently for me to join her one day - your Patches is there with Lee Lee now - in paradise. I will be thinking of you and your son, I pray that peace soon finds you aching heart... Let your sweet Patches' love comfort you...

Hugs to you...
Melanie
(Lee Lee's Mama - always)


maxsMandD

Registered:
Posts: 1,270
 #464 
LeeLee's portrait is wonderful it really captures her personality, also the picture of her on her blanket upside down reminds me of how Max would sleep. All their pictures and memories we hold so close to our hearts are ever so prescious to us. They will be with us forever in our hearts.   ((hugs))  maxsMandD
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #465 
Hi Melanie,
I woke up a while ago still with a broken and swollen heart but a even more swollen face ( from crying so much) it meant so much that you read, cared, and responded to my heartache. I don't know what you do, but maybe consider some sort of pet grief or counseling. You could really help so many. Your words are so sincere, personal to each and everyone, heartfelt, and just makes me feel better when that is next to impossible. The time time you take to respond to each and every individual is amazing . Lee Lee is one proud baby of her mommy, I know it. I can barely function honestly. I can't return phone calls, emails, or everyday ordinary things. It's just not like me, I'm empty and don't feel like I care. Family and friends try and help but it just makes it worse. I don't want to hear one more cliche " she had a beautiful life" " you were lucky to have each other" " she misses you too." " she wouldn't want you to act like this" and my personal favorite that I hate the most.... " she is in a better place." That maddens me!!! No she's NOT! She was best here, here with me. :( Oh my sweet pretty girl. I know in my heart she knows how much I love her. I tell her out loud probably 500 hundred times a day, and I miss you sweet baby. You are in my heart and I'm right here holding you in my arms always, I've got you girl.
At my office my business partner, who tries... Likes animals a little but will never understand how anyone could still be this upset over just a animal. She says " you're still upset and crying over this"? I'm disappointed at some peoples lack of compassion and understanding. I have loved animals my whole life. Going back to a child when sometimes they were all I had, ( that's going into a longer sad story) but I've always said and do feel that I just don't trust something about anyone that hates animals. You don't have to like or love them, but how could anyone not at least like those sweet faces. Animals are amazing amazing creatures.
My son 5 years ago saw a lady giving away kittens in the park during his little league game. He begged for his own cat which I said no no we don't need another responsibility. His father actually said " come on, let him have his own cat" ..... So we brought Link home. He is cool cat, very crazy and wild he goes outside a lot and I don't care for the dead birds he brings home. (Patches was strictly indoors, never aloud out unless with me, she LOVED the sun) well anyway Link is actually depressed, I've never seen anything like it. He lays in all her spots where he would never have. I found him the other day laying in my bathroom sink where only Patches drank water from every day. He would never jump up there. When I saw him curdled in there, I lost it bad! Poor guy he misses her too, but I have him beat. Did your other doggies act strange after Lee Lee?
I have a million thoughts, and feel just lost. It's gloomy and cold here... How Patches loved the fireplace and to snuggle with mommy. Oh boy. You'd think that our tears would dry up at some point? I have so so many pictures of her. I should put some up. I'll never be able to pick 1 favorite. Many are with the 2 of us.... Am I aloud to show my face in here ? I only see other pictures of babies? I don't mind, you can see how utterly happy I was with her. :(

Also what is a thread?? I have never written online before about anything. I'm not a huge Facebook person but do have one.

You are so genuinely sweet Melanie. Thank you so much. Really, only maybe you could understand how much your words helped me.
Horrible depths of grief is right and so eloquently put. She is "my one" and I am forever hers. Waiting to hold her sweet little body again is just not bearable. I can't stand it.

Thank you for listening so much. I hope right now Patches and Lee Lee are laying in very warm sun together.
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #466 
Dear Melanie, 

Thank you for your kind words - I know how difficult it is to find meaning and purpose again for your life - as you say, it is not an easy task. I know that your outreach here at petloss is helping so many people come through to a better place and I believe it is helping you too, on your journey, ever closer to Lee Lee. Lee Lee is very proud of her Mama for her special outreach of love and support, and she has not forgotten you for a moment as she always finds her special little ways of connecting. I just knew in my heart, it was Bud letting me know he was concerned about me and wanting to comfort mom, sending Clementine the other day...it truly is a blessing from beyond to have these little signs. I was burning brush outside today and in a place where he loved to play - I could feel him close, and knew he was 'helping' with the sticks, in his own special way! 

It is such a blessing that your kindred spirit, Patches mom, reached out to you. You do understand every bit of what this poor hurting soul is going through, and she chose you especially to reach out to and lean on for support - your story resonated with her deeply. Truly an honor for both you and Lee Lee, and for the love that you both share with the world as you continue your mission of healing and support. 

As you say, we've made it through another day...*(well, almost!) and one day closer to reuniting in Paradise with our beloved children. 

Hugs and prayers always, 

Elise
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #467 
Dear MaxsMandD,
Thanks for stopping by and looking at my little Lee Lee's Portrait - I think it is definitely "Her" - I love it so much.  She still slept like that a lot, maybe she and your little Max are up there laying upside down enjoying a good nap together.  Hugs to you tonight...
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

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 #468 
Hi Jamie,
You are very kind and very welcome Sweetie, I'm grateful to be able to offer you a little understanding.  The early days are just the worst, I couldn't talk to anyone or even look at anyone for a long time - but that feeling will pass, it will get easier, slowly, but it will.  I know what you mean about the things people say - I've come to understand that many times, if not most of the time, people really just don't know what to say to someone who is grieving - so they use those cliche responses because it is what they've always heard. I'm sure I've been guilty of the same in the past.  But, unless someone has experienced a great loss like we have, they have no way of knowing how very devastating such a loss is and what you are going thru. I look upon grieving folks in a completely different way now.

Yes, I would love to see your Patches - you can add photos to your Albums - just click on your name "PatchesMommy" and you will see the albums over on the left.  You can add as many as you want - at least I don't think there is a limit and yes, you can add photos of you and Patches if you want.

The thread (also called a Topic) is basically a string of posts, such as my story of Lee Lee and each of the stories on this site.  If you wanted to begin a topic about your Patches, more people would read it and be able to offer you words of comfort and encouragement.  Not everyone still reads my story(we've been here for a while) - but most everyone reads and responds to the new stories.  So, if you want to begin a new topic, go to the main page with all the topics (stories) and look just below where you see "Welcome, _PatchesMommy", you'll see "New Topic" - just click on that and you'll be all set. I really hope you feel up to telling us more about your baby - I have found comfort in recording some of my memories - I think it may help you as well.  There is just something about the writing - it helps me...

Yes, I imagine that Link is missing Patches - they love each other and feel the void in their little world too. Give him some extra hugs and attention to help him adjust.  My Lee Lee lived inside and my other dogs all lived outside, but they did eat together and play every day and they did "look" for her for a while.

Jamie, I will be thinking of you - I know what a struggle it is just to survive from day to day right now. Try to remember, your sweet baby absolutely does know how much you love her and she loves you too. My Lee Lee was a naughty girl sometimes - she wanted to chase the kitties - but I just know that some of her very best friends now at the bridge are kitties like your precious little Patches.  

Please try to take care of yourself - I wish you peace.
Hugs
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,833
 #469 
Dear Elise,
That made me smile - that you felt your sweet Buddy there today, doing his part "helping" with the clean up.  You have a very special connection with your precious boy - what a blessing and comfort it must be to know that he is watching over you from day to day.  

Elise, hope you and Patches Mommy are right and my Lee Lee is proud  - I miss her so.... You are right - it is absolutely my honor to offer whatever little support and understanding that I can. Everyone has been so good to me - I am forever grateful.

I hope you have a peaceful week Elise - I wish you the blessing of another visit from your Buddy..
Hugs, my friend...
Melanie
Bedomom

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Posts: 1,434
 #470 

Double L's Mama,
I am so touched by the story of Jamie, I am praying that she is doing better everyday.  What a beautiful angel and what a beautiful and touching story.  DLM, we animal lovers see things differently, we just feel right when we see our babies not because she/he is young, pretty, healthy but they are just Right...yes, a runt in the litter was actually a blessing miracle for Jamie and her angel was right there by her side in all those years to give her love and comfort...what a blessing and God had his intention to give her such a long life in a loving home which she was well deserved! one thing we all should know by now is don't even bother to tell people who don't understand about the love of animals, it is not worth it.  They reaction will give us a feeling of very disprect to "someone" we loved more than anything on this earth...maybe even more than ourselvest that's why we mourn so hard!  I was at this place with a group of people for dinner on Saturday night,  I just ate and left early without telling them a word about my Bedo. 
I hope you are doing better DLM. Happy Thanksgiving to you and I know Double L will be right there celebrating this special day with you.  Thinking back, may be it is Double L's doing by leading Jamie to you because she knows you will be and angel to Jamie..  Double L also understands you so well, she knows that your kind heart need to be occupied with good deeds for healing, see she is a very smart girl and she is sending you all these signs in her special ways!
Hugs
Bedomom

_PatchesMommy

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Posts: 181
 #471 

Hello Elise,

I loved what you read to Lee Lees Mama, I'm so so sorry about your sweet Buddy. I feel what you're going through. Believe me.
I looked at Buddys pictures, of course he's just adorable. I have put some pictures up of Patches if you would like to take a look.

Im sorry again Elise, try and have a good night  :)

Forever Patches Mommy, Jamie

EliseT

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Posts: 2,167
 #472 
Hi Jamie,

Thank you for reaching out and for your kinds thoughts, they mean so much. I appreciate you took the time to view Bud's photos. Most of these are early ones that I got from his foster mom shortly after he was rescued. I will continue to add more pics of him as time goes on. Thank you for posting pictures of your sweet Patches - she is so adorable. I can see why little Link misses her, as he loved her belly for a pillow! Her "Laying Pretty" photo is amazing...what a princess!

Really hope you're doing better, Jamie - praying we all have a peaceful night and that our babies come to us in a sweet dream...that would be really nice.

Hugs,

Elise


_PatchesMommy

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Posts: 181
 #473 
Sweet Elise,

Thank you for looking at my sweet girl, It's still very hard for me to look at her pictures, weird huh?
She knows how much Mommy loves her.

I could definitely use a sweet dream, I don't like the nights.

Sweet dreams, and thank you again,

Patches Mommy Forever.
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,833
 #474 
Dear Bedomom,
I know, I feel so bad for Patches Mommy - I pray she can find a bit of peace soon.  The early days...it just doesn't feel like your heart will survive the pain.  You are right too about our babies - they may not seem perfect to everyone else but they are our perfect little angels - and when you think of it, that is really all that matters to them - that we think they are perfect.  God in his great wisdom - he knows which baby to send to which Momma - for the perfect fit and perfect love - each perfect match is a miracle straight from Him.  

I'm sorry about your dinner and that you didn't feel you could share your loss of Bedo with them - I know it must have been such a lonely evening for you.  People just don't understand that Love is Love - and when they have to go on ahead, our hearts don't hurt any less just because they have 4 legs instead of 2.  A hug for you tonight (((((((Bedomom))))))))

Thank you so much for your wonderful words about my Double L - I think you are right - she knows me well....

Happy Thanksgiving to you also my friend, I know your little man will be there with you as well - their love will help us get thru these holidays. I bet Thanksgiving Dinner at the bridge will be something to see!!!  I hope you can feel him in a special way tonight...your precious little boy.  

Bedomom, Elise and Jamie - hugs to all you dear ladies - I wish you a sweet visit from your babies tonight.
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #475 
Dear Jamie, 

You're very welcome - I think many of us find the nights to be especially challenging. I wake up with the very predictable heartache in the middle of the night, it is one of the loneliest times. I know what you mean - it is hard to look at the pictures. For me, it makes me want to just hug him so much, but at the same time I need to see his face, see his eyes and for the videos just to see him moving...it's so different for everyone...

Wishing you a lot of healing dear friend, and a better day today.

Dear Bedomom, 

You have such a wonderful way of giving comforting words and spiritual thoughts! I truly love the way you express yourself it is so uniquely you, and shows what a deep and feeling soul you are. Bud was probably the runt of the litter, too...and as Melanie said, our babies are just perfect to us and for us, and God did have a hand in matching us up to be the right combination. I don't think people even realize they are being disrespectful when they don't give as much weight to the devastating loss of our beloved four legged children. Those who think like this have never experienced the deep connection and pure bliss that our babies give us each and every moment we are with them. I think you are so right - sweet Lee Lee led Jamie to her Mama...she is working her little miracles behind the scenes for her Mama and the people she is helping. It is our blessing from beyond to realize what is truly going on with these kids of ours...they are helping us and leading us to experiences we cannot even imagine yet!

Wishing you a peaceful productive day - hugs to you and the Vancouver gang over there!

Dear Melanie, 

I will hold closely to your thought that "their love will get us through these holidays"...it is the one thing that will sustain us. I am going to remember Buddy's Thanksgivings at my mom's home - he loved his turkey and gravy!! (I grew up close to the Canadian border - live in Canada now, but was born in northern New York and still celebrate American Thanksgiving with my family). So I am going to envision him waiting patiently under the table at our feet...not begging, just positioning himself in all the right spots, in case any tasty morsels just 'happened' to drop on the floor! 

Wishing sweet dreams always, to angels Double L and Mama, as you both continue to bless and touch those in need of comfort and joy...


Bedomom

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Posts: 1,434
 #476 
LeeLeesMama
I am thinking about you tonight Thank you for your kind words to my Bedo I adopted him when he was about eight or nine people used to tell him that he had hit the jack pot as he was an old dog thinking back it was really me who won the lottery he was very special and he still is. I know you must be thinking about Lee Lee all the times our angels have continuously love us in different stages now they are in their sweet spirits.guiding us to a next level. Through the process of mourning we have learned so much about life in general and in love specifically it has been a bless to know that all our angels are together now they have their own sweet community just like us here from this website caring for each other maybe it is all their ideas that have brought us here in the first place for peace and comfort.
Hugs to you and Double Blessings
Bedomom




LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,833
 #477 
Lee Lee I remember...

....that sweet little whine of yours.  Sometimes it was a true whine "hhuuummm" and sometimes it was just a grunt "uuhhh", but either way it always meant "I need something... and you get to figure out what it is"....

Sometimes that whine meant that you wanted to go outside for a while, or go for a walk, maybe it was a "stick" or a "cookie" that you wanted.  Sometimes it meant you needed a "strip" (dehydrated chicken or beef strips homemade with love for you) - you enjoyed them so much.  It could be that you were too cool and wanted to be covered up, or that you wanted your water bowl brought to you so that you didn't have to get up.  I could mean that you wanted to get on the couch and it wasn't "fixed" just right. You loved ice and if you heard a "clink" in a glass, that whine meant "I want some too".

Sometimes it meant you wanted to "sing" and as soon as we'd ask you if you wanted to - you'd begin a beautiful song.  If we were at your Granny's and you were tired, that little whine meant "I'm ready to go home and I'm not going to hush until we leave" - and you didn't.  There was even a whine for "Daddy, I need you to lay down on the floor with me while I take a nap".  But that little voice always meant you wanted something right then and if I didn't get it pronto, another more insistent "HHHHHUUUUMMMM" or "UUHHH" would follow shortly.

Occassionally your Daddy and I would look at each other "Okay, what are we forgetting?" ... and go down the list again.  You always knew exactly what you wanted and wouldn't settle for anything less.  Sometimes your "request" would be so quiet that when I went to get what you wanted everyone would wonder how I knew - but I always listened for that precious little voice of yours.  I heard you Lee Lee, I heard you and I always will - I'll always be "listening"...

Sometimes instead of a whine or grunt we'd get only the stare or "The Look" - but that's a whole other story....

Mama luvs you err and err...Kisses and scratches My Little Angel...

[image] photo IMG008_zpsfcfbea98.jpg
"The Look"


(Separated 37 weeks ago today ~ but, 259 days closer to seeing you again)
ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,010
 #478 
Hi Melanie:

That story really made me smile.  I think that now Miriam takes the cake for whining.  And sometimes we just can't figure it out.  Mostly she just wants loving and petting, because all her other needs have been met.

When you mention "the look" that brings fond memories back of Brandy.  Sometimes in the evening when we would sit on the couch she would be in the kitchen just staring at us.  I guess that meant that she wanted more food, because after we gave it to her the staring would stop.  We always said "I wish you could talk Brandy."  But then she wouldn't be a dog, would she?

They have a language all their own and that's what makes them so unique and precious.  All the little grunts, moans and sighs.  Brandy sighed a lot, and that's why we gave her the middle name of Millie - after Wayne's sister who always sighs a lot.  It was a running joke with us.

I love the picture of "The Look."  Each picture of Lee Lee brings out what a special angel she is.

((HUGS))
Barb
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,833
 #479 
Dear Bedomom,
Thank you for visiting with us - I love your comments about our babies having their own little community at the Bridge - I think you are right about that.  Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts to you tonight.
Melanie 

~~~~~~

Dear Barb,
I'm glad Lee Lee made you smile - you are right - talking would make it much easier...but it is our "job" to figure out what all those little "words" mean - and I loved it - I'm sure you do too.  
Lee Lee used to sigh too - especially when she got cool and we covered her up - she'd give a great big sigh as if to say - "Aaahhhhh that feels soooo good".  Thank you Barb...hugs.
Melanie



Paulajeanne

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Posts: 117
 #480 
Melanie -

Somehow, I find myself coming back and back here. And more often than not, your name is in the most recent thread. Your concern and care for everyone dealing with the loss of their babies is a sign to me, that if this had to happen I would at least be given a place where people understand.

Your devotion to LeeLee is just... well it makes me feel that I am not crazy, these 6 months after losing Gracie. Most everyone seems to have moved on better than I have. I am still taken aback at the pain sometimes, just coming through the door.

Like others, I have gone through to read your stories, your notes to LeeLee, and the comfort you give. I especially love the portrait of your girl, she had the kind of eyes that melt your heart. How lucky you were to have each other! All of that love, though, seems to make it harder sometimes. I wonder if I'll be able to open my heart again. 

Really, I just want to say thank you for the wisdom and kindness that you share - it means more than you will probably ever really know.

paula
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