Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 13 of 49     «   Prev   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   Next   »
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #481 
Dear Melanie, 

I just love how you are sharing your life and times with your precious baby by posting your beautiful memories together! You are so right, it is our job to figure out these little signs of theirs...they love to tease us and keep us guessing, don't they? Bud would often sigh...I don't think it was ever from boredom...more like impatience! Like, hurry up and let's go, already! Or sometimes, it was just that he was pooped, or content or a bit of both...again, it's up to us to figure out! 

I just love this picture of "The Look"...Lee Lee's sweet face, and how her little paws are - one on top of the other...just makes me want to give them a little squeeze and then kisses on top! She is just so adorable...can hardly stand it! Her little ears remind me of Buds, how they droop down. One of the things I loved to do for Bud was clean his ears...I know that might sound strange, but it was yet another way of bonding with him, spending time with him and letting him know mom cared. 

Wishing you sweet comfort and hugs from your baby - Lee Lee wrap your angel wings around your Mama tonight...




LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #482 
Dear Paula,
You are definitely not crazy Sweetie, just grieving a very devastating loss.  Our little angels, my Lee Lee, your precious little Gracie and all the others - they took part of our hearts with them when they ran on ahead - that is not an easy emptiness to get used to - the loss is just too great. Just this morning I stopped to gas up the car and as I got out - I caught myself just before saying "Stay here, Mama will be right back" like I used to say - every time something like that happens - it just stabs me right in the heart...

Paula, for a long time I struggled with the thought of needing to "get over" this sadness, this bereft feeling that I live with, and it did concern me that others seem to "recover", for lack of a better word, much more quickly.  I am happy for them - they are blessed - but, I have finally come to understand that as hard as I try I can't "make" myself better. At some point in the future I hope that it won't hurt this bad, that my former joy and zest for life will return to some degree, but I lost a huge part of myself that awful day. You did too Paula, your little Gracie blessed your life for all those wonderful years, the love you shared was strong and precious - and you just miss her sweet presence. I now understand that it will take as long as it takes - and our babies are worth it - even if it takes until the day we see them again.  

Thank you so much for your kind words for my little girl and for me - your sweet comments mean the world to me, Lee Lee is worthy of them but I am not. I am just a Mama trying to survive the loss of my baby and I find a little comfort in writing about her.  I do feel incredibly lucky to have been her Mama.  Our babies are gifts straight from the Angels and I feel they have led each of us to this wonderful group of people all trying to help each other. And you have helped me Paula - your words have blessed my heart today - Thank you.

Paula, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...please try to be patient with your grief Sweetie, she is worth it.

Special hugs...
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #483 
Dear Elise,
Don't you miss all the little things so much - like cleaning Buddy's ears - the little things that no one really knows about, they are such special little memories of our babies.  I treasure my "big" memories too, the vacations, the walks and the like - but those little tiny things sometimes are harder to think about - I guess because they were just "between us".  One of my favorite memories is holding her "sticks" for her to chew - her Daddy always said I was spoiling her - but she liked it...

Thanks for you complement for Lee Lee's "Look" - it is one of my favorites - I have a large canvas of it and her eyes seem to bore right through me - it was many months before I could look at that one.  It was taken on our sofa where she slept at night - "her spot" that is empty now.  And call me crazy, but I still keep her spot clear, no pillows or anything - just in case...

Thank you Elise for visiting with us and remembering with me... What do you suppose our two angels are doing today?  It is cold here and cloudy - I bet they are laying out in the sunshine - taking a nap after a spirited game of frisbee - they both probably gave one of those great big sighs!

Thinking of you and your boy...
Melanie 


Bedomom

Registered:
Posts: 1,434
 #484 
LeeLeesMama,
Lee Lee you are such a classic Beauty, your gentle loving eyes, and "The Look" of you just take me right into your beautiful soul.  You Sweet Angel has a soul that embraces LeeLee'sMama's heart forever! Mama feels you around all the times, no wonder!
Hugs to you and your sweet Mom, and A Soulful Thanksgiving to a Soulful Mama and her Soulful Angel! May I say A Triple Soulful Holiday Celebration?
Bedomom
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #485 

Bedomom~
Yes, absolutely you may say "A Triple Soulful Holiday Celebration" - I like that.  Thank you for your beautiful words for my angel....that saying or proverb "The eyes are the mirror of the soul" seems appropriate for "The Look" wouldn't you say?  I am so thankful that our babies are able to reach us, - without those moments and the signs they send, the loneliness may be more that we could bear.  I am thinking of you and little Bedo tonight.

Hugs to you ~ Kisses for Bedo
Melanie

_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #486 
Hi Melanie,

I was home tonight alone, sad, scared, and panicky. It was almost this time last week I found this website and you and Lee Lee. I just saw the picture of "the look" it made me cry. But I think I cried in a happy way?? She's so sweet and angelic. I wanted to pet her right in that picture. Such an angel. I've read how you've been helping people here and that's why Lee Lee is such an angel because you certainly are. Your words have helped and comforted me and I can't even imagine how many others you've helped. Thank you again.

I'm still Missing my princess but what else is new. It'll never stop. I have my buddies necklace, her box of ashes :( , her collar, all of her pictures, a makeshift memorial by my bed, still have her food bowl untouched, and the litter box, but I just want her...... sooooo bad. This feeling is like nothing I've ever felt. My mind feels like a roller coaster and I feel like I may be losing it. I don't know, I'm at a loss for words. My sons cat Link is staring at me right now with such wide eyes.... I just chuckled because even the cat can see I'm crazy. Poor link he's stuck here alone with me. One of the many endless reasons that I love Patches so much was because even when I was just a little upset.... She knew!! Even if she were asleep she'd get up and come to me. Honestly, she's the best. Lately I've been more upset then ever even to the point of crying on the actual ground, and Link just looks at me like I'm nuts, doesn't seem to care that I'm devastated. Poor guy, I still like him very much, I've been petting him a lot too. But Patches is and will forever be MY ONE. I don't have any new words or ways for me to explain how much I love and miss that sweet face. I'm lost and tired. I'm so tired. I feel empty and just defeated...

I look up from the I pad and just for a split second I catch myself before I say out loud .... " come on rabbit let's go lay down"
I'm a mess, a true mess. An actual actual mess. She's my girl who I had in my life every single day for almost 17 years. And now I'm left with repulsive disgusting knot in my stomach. I can't stand this anymore. I just want to give up. Grief won, I can't take it anymore. All I know is how much I love and miss my chicken( that's another of her nicknames) my sweet little chicken. She's so cute.

I just realize I rambled, I think. Sorry Melanie.
I think it would be so cool if all us mommies were closer and we could all have one big party all together for all our babies.That would be nice.

Thank you for listening... I realize I sound like a "debby downer" :(
Goodnight,

Patches Mommy Forever,
Jamie
I love you sweet girl, my bunny :(
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,763
 #487 
Such wonderful pictures of your girl. She has such beautiful, expressive eyes. I remember how Harry would always stand in front of me, and give me a look when he wanted something. Sometimes he wanted some outside time, or perhaps he thought his litter box needed cleaning, or sometimes he thought it was time to go to bed, and he would not go until I went. Sometimes he just wanted his treats, and he wanted to remind us in case we would forget. Yes, they have so many ways to communicate with us, just by a look, or a noise that they need something, and yes, they always knew what they wanted, and we would get to play the guessing game until we got it right. But, since LeeLee was your baby, I know you would do whatever it took to make her happy. And she knows how much you love her and you always will. Perhaps when she visits, she would give a little whine to let you know she is there. 
Paulajeanne

Registered:
Posts: 117
 #488 
Oh Melanie, thank you. I was just sitting here thinking about Thanksgiving & Christmas, and how I don't really want them to come this year. Gracie would actually go visiting on the holidays, but I would gets tons of texts and pictures of her begging for turkey and just lounging around. I'd send her off with her presents and would wait for the video of her opening them. It's what made the days joyful. This year, well, it all seems kind of pointless. 

I appreciate your advice. I do keep waiting for some magic day when this hard part will be over, I'm not sure that will ever really come. Thank goodness I have this forum.

Wishing you a happy Sunday,
Paula
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #489 
Jamie~
I appreciate you coming by to see my baby and your lovely comments for her.  To me, she really was a true little angel - I called her that quite often, My Angel or My Little Angel. I feel the same - I will never stop missing my little Baby Doll. What you are feeling is normal - I've used those very words, tired, empty, defeated and it truly does feel like you want to give up. But, as for me, I keep going to honor Lee Lee, because she never gave up.

I have you in my thoughts Jamie - I pray for your comfort and peace..
Sending a strengthening hug...
Melanie

~~~~~~~~

Brenrae~
Thank you for your sweet comments for my girl - she really did KNOW what she wanted or needed and she wouldn't change her mind.  Sometimes when it took me several tries and offering different things and I'd figure it out at last -- she'd give a great big deep sigh as if to say  "well finally - you've figured it out - it's about time!!"

Your Harry is an amazing boy Brenrae - I know that you miss him so much - life is just not as kind without them here with us.  What we wouldn't to see those "looks" again.  I would be just over the moon to hear her whine again - I hope she listens to your suggestion.

Hugs to you,
Melanie


Sitka3

Registered:
Posts: 374
 #490 
{{{{{{{{{Melanie}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Have been reading a lot lately but not posting much. Lee Lee's photos are so precious! They always make me smile. :)
~Sitka
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #491 
Paula~
I'm dreading the holidays too - I just want them to pass.  I don't know how you managed to send little Gracie off with her presents - that just broke my heart. I'm glad you have your videos - I have some very precious Christmas videos of Lee Lee too - I haven't been able to watch them yet, but one day I will.  She was just like a little kid - all wide-eyed with excitement and anticipation.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers - we'll get thru it somehow with our sweet memories.  

Take care Paula, hugs...
Melanie

~~~~~~~

Sitka~
Thanks for stopping by and looking at my Lee Lee's pictures - that means a lot to me - she was such a happy little angel, she'd be glad she made you smile.

Hugs to you...
Melanie

LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #492 
Happy Thanksgiving My Little Angel....


"I missed you today Lee Lee, but that is nothing new
 I missed you yesterday, I'll miss you tomorrow too..."


[image] photo bf032d4f-f8de-4333-b5ff-09ad79193019_zps054cd40d.jpg
       Lee Lee ~ November 2004


Mama luvs you err and err Baby Doll - Kisses and Scratches....

(Separated 38 weeks tomorrow ~ but, today is 265 days closer to seeing you again My Angel)



Happy Thanksgiving Everyone - I hope you all had a peaceful day and felt your babies nearby.
Bedomom

Registered:
Posts: 1,434
 #493 
Have a Peaceful Thanksgiving LeeLeesMama!  and Happy Thankgiving to you Beautiful Blessing! You are such a Beautiful Princess and  I know Mama is feeling your sweet prescence at this special occasion.  Sweet Girl, you ,the BB Boys, the AA girls and all of the Sweet Angels must having a feast up there.  Bedo had sent me a shiny Penny, at our very favourite spot during my morning walk.  You wise girl, please come to mama's dream! she misses you!
Hugs
Bedomom
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #494 
Melanie~ that picture is priceless... She's an angel for sure... Look at that face. I know you miss her sweet girl....
I miss my angel too.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and and your pretty angel.

Big hugs to both of you.
Thinking of you....

Patches Mommy Forever,
Jamie
maxsMandD

Registered:
Posts: 1,270
 #495 
Happy thanksgiving LeeLee, your picture of her as a pup is adorable. Sweet dreams and memories of your LeeLee she was a one of a kind  kindred soul just as our Max was to us..  ((hugs))  maxsMandD
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #496 
Hi Bedomom,

Happy thanksgiving to you and your angel... Thinking of you today. I'm glad that you had your special moment on your walk this morning.
I'm still hoping for that sign or dream from my girl....

Big hugs to you and your sweet Bedo.

Warmly,
Patches Mommy Forever,
Jamie
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #497 
Dear Melanie, 

What a beautiful pose of your photogenic angel baby girl! Thank you for sharing it with us, and also for all of your loving ongoing support of the moms and dads who are missing their babies today, tomorrow and always, until we reunite on that happiest of days. Your countdown to heaven and Lee Lee is improving every day! 

Loving hugs to you and Angel Lee Lee, you two continue to work your miracles of healing and love in this world and the next... 

Buddy's mom
ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,010
 #498 
Dear Melanie:

Your sweet little angel always makes me smile.  I know you will miss her always, but she is near, watching over you and sending her love and her signs so that you can feel her presence.

Love never ends.....


((((HUGS))))
Barb

LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #499 
Bedomom, Jamie, MaxsMandD, Elise and Barb....

Thank you all so very much for your sweet words for my Lee Lee -  my Beautiful Blessing and Beautiful Princess, my Pretty Angel, my one of a kind Kindred Soul, my Angel Baby Girl, my Sweet Little Angel -- I just love all your names for her - they bring tears to my eyes. You are all grieving just like me and yet you always take time to visit with us and offer wonderful encouragement and support -  each of you is appreciated more than you know.

We just have to continue to help each other along this terrible journey and try to remember that as heartbroken as we all are right now - we will indeed see our babies again - what an amazing day it will be.  Bedo, Patches, Max, Buddy, Brandy, Lee Lee and all the other precious angels will be reunited with their "people" one day.  

Hugs to each of you....
Melanie
Bedomom

Registered:
Posts: 1,434
 #500 
LeeLeesMama,
My Babies thank you for your hugs, they love them as they don't have much.  Comming from a big family, they know the limit and that's why they are very behaving and kind. When I give attention to one, others would come and I have to rub each one quickly, with my both hands, my both feet and let them know that I love each of them equally.    I know there is no one like Bedo but my babies are helping me during this difficult time.  Bedo sent me more pennies at the same spot this morning, Double L's Mama, I know he is with me, he knows that I need his help and he is guiding me all the way.  Yes we are all grieving but it is our nature and it is our angels that has led us here, through sharing, we find comfort.  Yes we will indeed see our babies gain, we had provided them homes, and they had chosen to arrive the RB first to prepare sweet homes waiting for us! I know Lee Lee will always watch out for you, guiding you in her sweet spirit and she can only be bette at that  as she has been hanging around with good kids like Buddy, Marsh, Bedo, Brandy, Max, Patches, Koji, Rufus, Marley, Beatrice, Ellie,  and all others Angels of their moms and dads from this wonderful family
Hugs to you and Sweet Angel Lee Lee!
Bedomom
 
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #501 
Hi Melanie,
It's going onto 1 a.m. here and I just can't sleep. Maybe because today is Sunday and I stayed inside all day. I kept looking at all of her spots and seeing her white fur pop up everywhere. I stayed in my jammies all day on a beautiful Sunday working between my laptop and iPad. The boys Jake & Ken ( son & boyfriend) worked hard all day outside putting up all of the Christmas lights and accessories. I heard Jake say "hey Dad lets go big on the lights this year!" Made my heart half smile. Christmas was always my time. It's funny how your feelings can really shut off? I was wondering if this year we could "skip Christmas"? Makes me sad. Mostly I do not want to let my son down, or all of my nieces and nephews, I don't worry so much about the adults. Thank God for Cyber Monday and internet shopping. I'll be doing a majority of that this year. I'll do what I can.

I just looked and Link is back sleeping at the end of Jacob's bed so snuggly and cute. As I look here in my bed Patches is still not here. Her spot is empty and so is my heart.
I miss her so so much Melanie, it's just terrible.
I know I need to get some sleep, Mondays are always extra busy for me.

Thank you again for listening.
I wanted to tell you that I often look at Lee Lees pictures ( it makes me happy)
I think that my favorite one is called "the look"... She looks to be younger in that one. her face is priceless.

I know that you miss your sweet girl just as much as I do mine.

Thinking of you and sending big big hugs to the both of you.
Thank you sweet friend.

Patches Mommy Forever,
Jamie
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #502 
Bedomom~
I like your thought that our babies are preparing our future homes for us - I will remember that.  And I can relate to having to use both hands and feet for all your babies - they all want their fair share don't they - seems like they can count sometimes - and know that you gave another one an extra scratch or rub.  Hugs, Melanie

Jamie~
I'm so sorry you aren't sleeping well - I still have difficulty myself - just can't seem to turn "those" thoughts off...  I feel for you regarding Christmas - my situation is different with no children - so I'm not obligated to celebrate - I've already told my family that I'm not participating in the gifting this year.  I normally put up a big tree and fill the house with decorations - but, I've put a red bow and some flowers at Lee Lee's spot outside and a few little decorations at her inside spot and that is it for me.  

I'm glad you like Lee Lee's pictures  - she was such a joyful little angel - she'd love to know she brought you a few moments of happiness.  That photo you mention "The Look" is one of my favorites - I can almost feel that she is "really" looking back at me.  You are right, I miss her so much.  
I'm thinking of you and your precious Patches - I hope you can rest tonight, Hugs, Melanie

~~~~~~~


These past few days my thoughts have been on where we were on this weekend a year ago - our last vacation with Lee Lee to the mountains she loved so much - we were so happy, having a wonderful time - anticipating the Christmas holidays soon to come - I could never in a million years have imagined how my life would be so completed and forever changed just three months later. 

Lee Lee - December 3, 2012
[image] photo IMG_6546_zpse2e858d1.jpg


EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #503 
Dear Melanie, 

This is such a beautiful picture of Lee Lee - our babies just love the outdoors, don't they? The place you went to on holiday looks so peaceful...you can just hear the water flowing in the background. 

I know you are missing her so much, leading up to the holidays. It's so sweet that you have decorated her outside and inside spots for the remembrance of Christ's birthday. You honor your baby in so many beautiful ways. 

I love the thought, that our babies are not only waiting for us but preparing beautiful homes for us, too...I think they are planning quite the tour, once we arrive! Our babies are with God and with each other, for Christmas. 

Praying that you have a good night's rest, hugs to you and your sweet Lee Lee,

Buddy's mom
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #504 
Dear Elise,
I appreciate, so much, your sweet words for my baby - she did indeed love to be outside, laying in the sun, walking, sniffing, chasing squirrels - enjoying the "simple" pleasures of life.  That photo was taken in the Smoky Mountain National Park in Tennessee - right across the river is a beautiful cascade of water coming down the slope from Spruce Flats Falls  - it is a "picture perfect" spot. 

I am missing her Elise - so much... just as much as you miss your Buddy... as we all miss our babies.  It is just so incredibly sad to me that all I can do for her now is put out a few decorations and flowers.  It just breaks my heart...

I absolutely can not wait to see her again...it is what I live for..   Thank you again my friend - your wonderful, very kind support is a blessing to me.

Hugs to you and kisses for Buddy
Lee Lee's Mama
~always~
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #505 
Hi sweet Melanie,

I saw your Lee Lee by the water, gave me chills when I saw the date. What a difference a year makes.
What I see is how much you love her, and how much you miss her. I'm so sorry Melanie.
Look how pretty and proud she is. Did you tell her to stay there and poise?
So pretty, what a good girl.
It helps me and makes me happy looking at all the pretty babies here, thank you for sharing Lee Lees.

Between you and me, I'm envious that you are obligated not to "do" Christmas. That sounds sad but it just all feels exhausting and
I just feel like I don't have the energy just yet. All so sad. I was able to grab some cyber Monday deals. Still no decorations inside, the
bins are sitting here looking at me. I'm sad to get them open and in that one I'll find Patches things.
I miss her terribly bad. Life is not fun. Yesterday someone said something funny(I don't remember what) and when I realized I was laughing I left the room to go cry.
I hope I'm not going crazy, nothing feels normal.

And I'm so so tired, but just am not getting the sleep I need.
I miss my sweet girl Melanie, just as you do yours.

Hugs to you tonight,
Patches Mommy Forever,Jamie
winter737

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #506 
I am sorry aren't dogs just wonderful they are the center of my life. I am at work thinking about my dogs at home.  I am joyful when i get home to be with them.
I hope you are well and doing well as to be expected.  I miss my little missy as you miss your baby,,,, i lost her july 31, 2012 and i still tear up. She had a large mass throughout her abdominal cavity.  For a month she suffered, cause i didn't know we thought she had thrown a disc in her back. Man I re-live this over and over in my mind and i still morn her, I still tear up.  Time heals but when you really think it is still there just like yesterday... I miss you Missy....
Please hang in there and chin up.... Lee Lees momma, bless you... they are all at rainbow bridge waiting for us
maxsMandD

Registered:
Posts: 1,270
 #507 
LeeLee's picture is wonderful as always she looks so peaceful sitting by the water what a wonderful memory of her. Sweet dreams of your prescious girl..   ((hugs))   MaxsMandD
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #508 
Jamie~
Thank you Sweetie for looking at my Lee Lee's picture - she was sitting there watching her Daddy - he had walked down a little farther to get some pictures - but she did love to pose - she was such a little ham.  I find myself thinking every day - "What were we doing this day last year?...." - when life was mundane and normal ....  I had no idea how different one year later would be - how my life would be changed.

I know that nothing seems "right" anymore - your life has been just turned upside down.  But you are not going crazy - you are just mourning the loss of your baby - and that leaves you feeling out of touch with reality and in a fog.  I've heard the term "New Normal" - I'm not really sure how that happens - but I guess it eventually becomes true to some extent.

Take care Jamie - I'm thinking of you and our girls...
Melanie
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #509 
Winter737,
Thank you for visiting with me and Lee Lee - you are right - they are the center of our lives.  I'm so sorry for your loss of your little Missy - I know those memories are very hard for you - mine haunt me also.  But I try to think of her as she is right now - healthy, happy, content - it will be a wonderful reunion won't it?
Hugs to you...Lee Lee's Mama

~~~~~~~~~~~~

MaxsMandD,
You are so sweet - your words are always a blessing to my heart.  She did love the outdoors - I find comfort in thinking that she has found a beautiful spot like this at the Bridge and she can enjoy being there as long as she wants - maybe your little Max is listening to the water with her right now.  Take Care - Hugs...Lee Lee's Mama 

DarrenS

Registered:
Posts: 156
 #510 
Hi LeeLeesMama

You never fail to make me smile when I'm at my lowest, them photos of your LeeLee especially the one when she's a pup the look on her face and in her eyes she just so gorgeous, I can see why it was so easy to fall in love with her, I wish I could off met her hopefully I will when it my time to go to the bridge to get My Spencer I'll meet all his friends at the bridge and I'm sore there the best of friends. 

Hope your doing ok my friend, I too spend most of my time thinking about what we were doing this time last year and every year before that, not looking forward to putting the tree up, it's normally up by now.

Take care my friend, your in my thoughts and prayers.

DarrenS

eac4277

Registered:
Posts: 82
 #511 

Melanie,
 I just saw the picture you posted with LeeLee's L - I am amazed.
 You just read my post about Nala sending me a sign & when I saw your picture, I just got chills.
 So beautiful, just like your LeeLee.
 - Elizabeth

LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #512 
Darren~
Lee Lee would be so pleased that her pictures make you smile -  spreading happiness was her mission in life.  We miss them so much don't we...the Holidays are especially hard.... But our wonderful memories and the promise of that reunion will see us thru the darkest of times.  I often think of meeting all Lee Lee's friends as you mention...I am absolutely sure Spencer and Lee Lee are best buddies - they will have some wonderful stories for us. Peace to you my friend..... Melanie 

Elizabeth~
I'm so glad you liked Lee Lee's L - it really blew me away when I saw it.  It was a wonderful sign from her of her approval for my "family trip" that day and it let me know that she was watching from above.  Your beautiful Nala is such a clever girl - she sent you such a pronounced sign - I just know you will be getting more wonderful signs and messages from her - be watchful.... Thinking of you and Nala... Melanie
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #513 
Lee Lee I remember...

...how you just loved hanging your head out the car window.  It was just the best wasn't it Baby Doll - sniffing all the wonderful smells and feeling the wind in your face, watching for squirrels and critters to bark at.  When you heard the window start to go down - if you even saw my hand move toward the button - you'd come flying up to the front seat and press your nose to the glass - waiting - it couldn't go down soon enough for you!  Sometimes, we'd turn onto our road and forget to let the window down .... not for long though - you'd quickly remind us with your begging and whining - so beside yourself your teeth would chatter.  

Sometimes you'd stand in my lap and your little feet would be dancing on my legs, but many times I'd just sit in the back and let you have the front all to yourself.  I'd be laughing at your joy - you'd be so excited, tail wagging furiously and the breeze would make your ears stand up. We learned not to put the window down too far though - once we had stopped to let you get a closer look at a critter and you jumped right out of the car window and the chase was on!!!  

I loved seeing you so excited and happy My Angel - hanging out the car window, one of the simple pleasures...you loved it so much....the memories are so precious...

       
 photo IMG_5936_zpsc4c8ee9a.jpg
   Lee Lee enjoying a little mountain road.


Mama luvs you err and err Baby Doll ~ Kisses and Scratches...


(Separated 39 weeks today ~ but, 273 days closer to seeing you again My Angel)
EliseT

Registered:
Posts: 2,167
 #514 
Dear Melanie, 

This is a precious moment with your baby - how many wonderful little pleasures Lee Lee had, because of you always thinking about her happiness! I just love her ears in this picture - they just express so much about what she is feeling, all of her excitement and anticipation...what an amazing photo! I'm so curious to know what she had her eye on, in that moment, and can only imagine how ferociously her tail was wagging! Our babies just love the wind in their faces, so much...my boy really loved that, too. Oh my gosh - what a moment that must have been, when she jumped right out of the window after a little critter! That must have been so much fun for her, having a chase like that! I hope it was fun for you, watching her go!

I would love to see the Smoky Mountain National Park sometime...it looks like such a beautiful part of the country, and a special place where Lee Lee was so happy to be. 

Thank you for sharing this lovely snapshot in time, with your precious baby...

Hugs to you and your sweet baby Lee Lee - another Friday closer...

Elise, Buddy's mom
Bedomom

Registered:
Posts: 1,434
 #515 
LeeLersMama Lee Lee is so serious posting at the park she looks like a well trained army girl the picture of her looking out the window is so cute thank you for sharing the memories of your sweet girl! Your love for her is so pure and soothing you two are just like two sweet girls hanging out together it is amaze how time flies thinking back everything is just as cleared as yesterday the past is always so sweet and we are thankful to have each other to hang to at the presence. I pray that Double L will send you more signs. Hugs to you and Angel Lee Lee Bedo mom
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #516 
Elise and Bedomom~
Thank you both so much for your sweet words for my Lee Lee - you both are grieving your own losses of Buddy and Bedo and yet you always take the time to visit with me and my baby.  I hope that you know how much that means to me - Thank You just doesn't seem enough for your continued kindness.  

Elise, she was looking for squirrels in that photo - she'd get so excited she'd just shaking all over.  The time she bailed out the window, we had stopped on the road where we live to let her get a close look at a bunny - and out she went!  I pretty much freaked out and started screaming for her to "get right here RIGHT NOW!!!" the bunny ran off and she did come straight back.  I could just see her taking off into the woods...her Daddy, on the other hand, was laughing - it was funny - right after I got her back in the car!!  

Bedomom, You are so funny... "a well trained army girl"  - you got a laugh with that one LOL...she does look pretty serious sitting there doesn't she...  You are right, even though some of the memories happened quite a while back - they really are just as clear as if they happened yesterday.  I can still remember all the little details and hopefully I always will. All the little things are for more precious than I ever imagined they would be.

Special hugs to both of you dear ladies...angel kisses for your babies...
Melanie
_PatchesMommy

Registered:
Posts: 181
 #517 
Dear Melanie,

I'm reading your last post here at 2:00 in the morning, I haven't even gone to bed and surely you'll be waking up soon. I've also read the posts on Patches page the thoughtful messagees from you and Elise, & Bedomom. I've been meaning to reply all day. Just haven't/couldn't?? I will very soon I promise. Elise & Bedomom all you sweet ladies, I believe you are my "sign" or help from Patches. Hearing from you, reading your stories, seeing your pictures of all your sweet babies( I look forward to pictures)it's something I think about and look forward to throughout my day.... I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I almost feel bad looking forward to hear how sad or much you miss your angels, because I know that feeling and wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever. I know what you miss, how you feel, and I'm so sorry girls. I don't feel like I have to pretend here that I'm "ok". I am not okay, at all.

To say today was a bad day for me would be a massive understatement. It wasn't pretty at all. I don't know what happened to me? I feel so lost, confused, alone, empty. This all happened so fast, not that I ever could have prepared anyway. I'm freaking out... 15 something days til Christmas and I've never been more unprepared. It's hard enough just to get up and going and get through my day let alone the shopping, decorating, cleaning, wrapping, Xmas cards.... Etc.
My heart is heavy, my eyes are heavier, I feel broken. I feel sad but safe saying that here because you ladies have been here and know what I mean.
No one in my life gets it?? I will spare you all the stupid comments I've encountered lately some from I thought friends, but worse family. I've hit an unhealthy angry stage in this hellish journey called anger.

I feel like yelling "HELLO!!! She was/is my daughter, life, baby, my everything for almost 17 years everyday and she was just so cruely ripped from my world with barely any warning at all, it has barely been a month and a half... And I'm supposed to be okay with that or better now?"

I'm sorry but I'm angry. Sadder then that I found out that my son is sick of seeing me cry and be so upset... I thought I had been "masking" some of this from him??? Apparently I can't do anything. I tried tonight (mostly for my son ) to be "productive". So I cleaned a little and pulled out some decor from the bins. Funny how tasks so small can just really take a lot out of you? But I keep going, one thing at a time. What else can I do?

I will tell you ladies now... One of the many things that I whispered into my sweet girls ears "that" most horrible Thursday were ... Mommy is going to be okay baby, I'll take of everything, I'll take care of the boys, I promise. You don't worry princess about anything."

I realize I have broken that promise and feel like I'm letting her down. THAT is something I will not do. THAT is what is keeping me going... Patches and I had a talk about this earlier:)
So now I'm exhausted but not tired but am going to bed. I will wake up and get up and clean and clean and then decorate.

Thank you for listening and hearing me when I know you all are in just as much agony as me. I know you all hurt and miss your angels too. I am so deeply sorry.
I love all your stories and the PIctures! Thank you for sharing.

Hoping your all sleeping soundly and at peace right now.
Thinking of you all and Lee Lee, Buddy, Bedo, .... And my little angel Pretty Pretty Patches :(
Jillbeane

Registered:
Posts: 481
 #518 
Jamie...I am reading your post, and it has made me cry, I know how hard this all is. The loss breaks our hearts in a million and one pieces. I am lost without Bailey, almost eleven months later. I know how hard it is to function, how heavy your heart is, and how people don't understand how you feel...except here. Everyone has seemed to moved on in my life, I just can't. I still cry at least once a day, and Bailey is never far from my thoughts. 

Your angel is just gorgeous, and the love you share is so evident. I too, go through the motions of every day living, always in the back of my mind is, Bailey is not here to make me laugh or give me comfort, it happened to me so fast too, I didn't have time to except it. I still have a lot of bad days, and don't think you have to be over this quickly either. Everyone grieves in their own way, in their own time. I am not going to say it gets better either, for me, I am trying to have a new norm here, but I don't like it one bit. 

I could never go through this ever again, this was the worst. I have lost parents, relatives, friends, but this brought me to my knees.

The holidays just compound all our emotions, I want them to be over with this year, I am in no mood for celebration of any kind. 

I wish you comfort...Bailey's Mom

LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,833
 #519 
Dear Jamie,
I'm so, so sorry for the pain you feel - I truly do understand.  This grief is just almost more that our human bodies can stand - it takes you very near the breaking point, emotionally, mentally and physically.  I want to let you know that it is OK to not be OK.  You just have to get by the best way you can.

As far as Christmas - I know your circumstance is different from me - I'm childless now and have no obligations in that way. I am not "celebrating" this year in any way and I feel for you and others who must summon the strength and courage to participate.  I'm sorry that you are not getting the support you need from the people around you - that is difficult to take - to me it feels very alienating and just sad.  I guess someone who has not had the wonderful relationship we have had with these little souls just really has no way to understand. Sometimes it would help more if they just didn't say anything and just gave a hug instead.

Patches understands Jamie.... she doesn't feel that you have let her down - it is my belief that they know that we are doing the best we can - they they know we miss them and that it is hard for us.  But....and it is hard to understand and even more difficult to explain in words...even though they know.. they don't "worry" about it - it doesn't affect their contentment and happiness - "life" there is so different the is it here.

I'm thinking of you Jamie - I hope that you will soon feel a bit of peace. Patches loves you so much - let your heart remember that love - it will get you through...

Hugs today,
Melanie
sharkey905

Registered:
Posts: 284
 #520 
Melanie
All your pictures of LeeLee are just beautful... her sitting on the rocks by the water is wonderful... I wished I had more pictures of Rambo...most of his pictures are laying on my bed or in the back field chewing on a stick or his ball
Hugs
Sue
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: