Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #1 
There are no words to express how I feel....
This past Friday my three year old chihuahua/basenji mix was taken from me. I was out of town with my girlfriend for her college softball reunion. She suggested we leave Buddy with her old coach who has a friendly dog and a nice backyard so he wouldn’t have to sit in the hotel room while we went to one of the reunion events. We arrived at the house and he was great with the other dog, they played a bit and got along. However, I had a weird gut feeling about the fence around the yard. He was only 14 lbs and could squeeze through fairly small spaces. I noticed a couple gaps at the bottom so we blocked them with wood and bricks so he wouldn’t be able to escape while we were gone for a couple hours. We left for the event and about 30 minutes later I wanted to check on him so I drove by the house. He was sitting in the corner of the yard near the fence and went crazy when he saw my car. He was so happy and jumping up and down like he always did whenever I came home. I didn’t get out of the car because I needed to return to the event. It was dark out and I wanted to make sure he was still safe so I drove around the block once and came back to make sure he wasn’t trying to escape. He was still there and began to jump again so I felt ok about leaving him. I went back to the party for about an hour then we decided to leave. When we returned to her house, he was gone. We searched all of the surrounding neighborhoods all night yelling for him. I posted on FB and reached out to local establishments, but he was no where to be found. It wasn’t until the next morning that I received a message from someone who saw my post saying they had information. I called only to find out that he had been hit by a car and killed (presumably instantly) only a few minutes after I drove off from checking on him. The amount of guilt I feel in my heart cannot be put into words. It’s been 4 days and I still cannot believe that he’s gone. I “see” him everywhere I look around the house. I wish I could hear the little pitter patter of his nails as he prances around the house looking for treats, or feel his warm little body curl up on my lap. He was such a sweet, loving, fun, energetic, amazing and uber cute little guy. He was only with me for a little over 3 years but he was my rock. He helped me through some really sad and lonely times. I loved him so incredibly much and he probably loved me even more. He was the best friend I’ve ever had. I honestly have no idea how I can move on without him. I am empty inside. I have no appetite and cannot stop crying uncontrollably. Please tell me this gets a little easier. I don’t know what to do with myself, I’m 100% lost.

Rest In Peace Buddy. Your mama loves you and always will, you’ll always be in my heart. ❤️🐕

http://www.petloss.com/mbphotos4/buddy3.jpg
RF

Registered:
Posts: 46
 #2 
That is utterly heartbreaking.  I can only guess at how painful it is for you.  At least Buddy didn't suffer - a similar thing happened to a friend's small dog, and it was over in an instant.  But it is still devastating, I know.   
Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #3 
Yes, it was definitely devastating and heartbreaking and isn’t getting much easier. 💔
Mondo

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 994
 #4 
I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's been 4 days .. this is still so fresh and raw.

It gets easier, but it can take a long time.  For me it was months, and truly about a year before getting back to something like 'normal'.

Early on I reminded myself that Tuffy was worth the grief, and that I would do it all over again.  11 months later to the day, Toby passed away.  It was a rough time. 

It was 3 years go that Toby passed.  A couple of months later we adopted a couple of little dogs from a rescue.  My wife had to fill the hole. For me it was more to honour the boys, Tuffy and Toby.

Our days are filled with love now.  But I think of the boys every day, and there are still times I shed a tear or two.

Hang in there .. it will get better.  In time.  I don't think this ever truly heals, but we learn to live with the loss and smile again.

Hugs.

Tuffy, Toby, Ellie and Missy's Dad.


Pawprince

Registered:
Posts: 92
 #5 
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. We are here to listen. Will be thinking of you during this difficult time. ((hugs))
Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Thank you for the kind words and support, it means so much right now.

I received Buddy’s ashes today and the whole situation feels much more real now. I also donated his food, treats and a couple small blankets to the local SPCA, which was hard, but it makes me feel good to know the shelter dogs will enjoy them.

I’m trying to stay distracted, but any reminder of him crushes me and prompts the waterworks. I didn’t even know it was possible to cry this much. I’m just trying to focus on getting through one day at a time right now. I wish this wasn’t real and he was here with me again. He was too young, it’s just not fair.
Margaret_Gene2016

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #7 

I'm so sorry for your loss.  My "baby" passed away yesterday.  She was chasing a car out of our driveway and into the road (State Highway) and somehow got under the wheels of the car and was run over.  She was Chihuahua/Shi Zhu mix and when she was brought to me in the house, her heart was still beating but I think the nerves were making her twitch and then she died as I was holding her.  I cried for about 9 hours.  My heart is sick and I too don't have much of an appetite.  My loss is great also as we had "Sadie Belle" for a little under a year.  She just turned 1 on April 10th.  My heart is so broken.  My husband tried comforting me but all I could do was CRY and MISS her so much.  She used to follow me around everywhere I'd go.  She'd always beg us for food.  She'd rarely eat her own "dog food".  Today is the 2nd day and I so miss her pitter patter of her feet and she'd sleep with us all the time.  I feel I have such a "VOID" in my life.

Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #8 
Margaret... I’m so so sorry for your loss. As everyone has said to me and now I know is very much true, there’s nothing I can say to make you feel better or to make this any easier. It’s been 11 days now since my Buddy passed and the pain is still very strong and real. I don’t know when this will get easier for us. The void is there and the emptiness in my heart remains. I’m not sure if it’ll ever heal but I’m hoping in time that I can accept this tragedy and live with the fact that my little guy is gone forever. I look for him everywhere around the house as I’m sure you’re doing the same. Please know you’re not alone in this struggle. I’m sending positive thoughts your way and hoping you find peace in your heart sooner rather than later. ❤️
Mondo

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 994
 #9 
"I’m not sure if it’ll ever heal but I’m hoping in time that I can accept this tragedy and live with the fact that my little guy is gone forever. "

This is my experience.  I lost my boys 3 and 4 years ago now.  The first loss brought me to this forum.  I was heartbroken, despondent and helpess.

No I never healed.  :-)  But I have accepted the tragedy of losing the boys, am grateful for the gift of time we had together and would do it all over again even know how it ends.  They were worth the deep grief.  <3

Always__there

Registered:
Posts: 123
 #10 
Hello Buddy...
So sad, reading your prose and the events leading up to.
Had a profound loss myself with my devoted chihuahua, 16y... I find the following very therapeutic and refer to it daily, edited.

Sympathy Remembrance Poem..     I'M STILL HERE      Healing the Heart
I'm still here,
Friend, please don't mourn for me, I'm still here, though you don't see,
I'm right by your side,
each night and day and
within Your Heart
I long to stay..

Nothing has ever caused me as much Sorrow as my wee one's demise. He is within my Memories and through them, I relive his Life for the rest of mine.
I put a high degree on Spirituality, framed photos and music therapy to assist me to this point of 3m, post demise.

For the unconditional love and devotion they give to Us, worth the pain experienced, they truly live in and on Our Hearts.

Feeling your Sorrow,
           
                                                                                          Sherry/PerryRIP


Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #11 
This morning is particularly hard for some reason. Two weeks ago was when I lost my best friend, Buddy. I still look for him everywhere around the house: all the places he used to sit, lay and where he’d stand when he needed to go outside but he’s not there. It feels empty in the house. My heart aches and I still cry multiple times each day when I think of him. I’m not sure I believe this is real and it’s been two weeks since the accident. Hoping things get a little easier in time.
Buddy0622

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #12 
Today has been particularly difficult for me for some reason. It’s been almost 2 months since my best friend Buddy was taken from me. His birthday is in 2 weeks, he would’ve been 4. I still can’t believe he’s gone. I’m not sure If this pain will ever subside. I still cannot think about him without crying and the guilt feeling is still inside me. I know the love in my heart for him will always be there but this pain has been incredibly difficult to manage. I can only hope he is in a peaceful place and knows how much his mama loves him and always will.
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: