Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
ccap1125

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #1 
I had Oreo for a little over 6 years. Oreo had been my brother’s cat that he took care of mostly outside his house. When my brother died I trapped her and and took her to my house. I had 3 other cats and Oreo would only stay in the basement because she didn’t like the other cats - never ever would stay upstairs (I tried). My basement was not finished. Anyway, she was overweight and last year had a smell of urine so I took her to the vet and they said she didn’t clean herself well because she was overweight- a few months ago I noticed her smelling worse and she looked dirty back there and I knew in my gut I should take her to get checked again but I kept putting it off (worried about money/busy) then a few days ago I noticed she wasn’t eating much and looked weak and waiting a day and a half for vet appt - she was awake and just tired but then after the vet checked her she looked weak and the vet said she was septic and I should put her to sleep - which I did. Now I wracked with guilt and have been inconsolable for two days - I feel like I failed her and neglected her. Worse is that I feel like I never gave her as much attention because she never came out of the basement. People tell me she had a better life not being on the street but I feel sad looking back and feeling like I should have taken her much sooner to the vet and also I should have gone to emergency when she was weak. I feel like I might never get over this. I feel so guilty and depressed. Thank you for listening
Heidi4907

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #2 
You have a good heart. Guilt is a big problem for many of us, and not uncommon during the grieving process. I always feel like I didn't do enough too, no matter what. Sepsis is nearly impossible to treat, so taking her a few days earlier probably wouldn't have mattered. Some cats have difficult childhoods and become life-long hiders. You tried to get her to join the group but she chose the basement. I hope you'll be kind to yourself and not let the grief consume you. Easier said than done.
ccap1125

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #3 
thank you for responding.  i hope i can feel better - i've lost pets before but never felt guilt like this.  i might seek counseling.  i just keep thinking - why why didn't i take her sooner :(
ccap1125

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #4 
thank you for responding.  i've lost pets before but never had this much guilt and "what if's" or "if only".  I just hope she didn't suffer - she never looked in pain but i don't know.  
Heidi4907

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #5 
I had a cat die from sepsis years ago. It probably started from a dental problem. The vet had me give him antibiotics and prednisone, but it was too late. He died peacefully in my arms. The vet told me he was probably very tired at the end but not in pain. I don't know if that's true, but a friend who had sepsis was just very lethargic. I lost a very favorite cat a few weeks ago, and can't help thinking I could have done more, even though he was at the vet several times. It's hard not to go there, but nothing will bring them back and it's pointless to torture ourselves. If you search this site for "guilt" you'll find many people in the same situation; maybe something there would be helpful. I'm so sorry for how you're feeling though. I know what it's like and it is so painful. Some causes are easier to understand and accept, like a very gradual kidney failure. Also I searched "grief and guilt" online and found some helpful articles. I know your loss is very recent, but don't hesitate to find help before your grief becomes depression, if that's something you need to be concerned about.
Take care,
Heidi
ccap1125

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Thank you for your response Heidi, i appreciate it.  i'm not feeling better yet but i'm trying. 
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: