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Dolly455

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Posts: 4
 #1 
I had a wonderful cat, Miss Kitty, who lived with me for 18 years. She died of old age 2 weeks ago. As old as she was it was unexpected as I always said she'd live to be 20. It was also the first time I ever euthanized an animal. In the end, to keep her from suffering it was easier for me to handle than I thought. I miss her on my lap and even my dog has missed her. She had been my friend since i was 19.
Before I lost Miss Kitty a little white kitten showed up at my parents. Mom has aggressive dogs and I ended up going and getting the kitten so it wouldn't be killed, but she had to stay outside. I told mom i was NOT keeping her and asked her to find a good home for her. I tasked my kids with taming her so we could find her a home. Try as we all may, we couldn't rehome her. Everyone kept saying it was a sign that I should take her in, and that Miss Kitty would be happy for me to move on. So I did. She was inside with me one week, and always with me and on me. Yesterday, I had no idea, but she ran out into the garage with me. I didn't even see her when I left. When I got home and raised the door, there she was. I ran over her when I left that morning. I had no idea. My kids were with me and i just backed right back out and drove down the road and bawled. A neighbor and my mother came and buried her while i was down the road with my kids. And emotionally I can't handle all this loss. I didn't want her bc I knew I was still hurting. I didn't want this and I was scared of this. I feel wretched. My nerves are shot. I've never ran over an animal. She loved me and I ended her life, and I feel absolutely wretched. I feel so guilty. I feel like I betrayed her. It's terrible. I wasn't emotionally ready for this. I can't shake this deep pain.
Atlaslucky84

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #2 
I am so sorry that you had to go through that horrible experience. It was an accident. My heart breaks for you and your children. It was not your fault. Those just happened as it did.. don't blame yourself. We are here for you. I does blames myself for my Atlas... I am seeking the counseling and try to deal with mybAtlas's sudden passing.
Your kitty was your shadow and it was an accident and it was very painful one..
I cannot image how to deal with that. I will pray for your. Sentvyouvthe positive vibes.
VickyMJ

Registered:
Posts: 71
 #3 
I’m really sorry this has happened, it was just a tragic accident, please don’t blame yourself you weren’t to know.

As I’m learning, especially this crappy year I’ve had, just tragic things happen to people and animals that are so loving and do not deserve it, who knows why.

I had to have my older cat of 18 euthanised in August and I’ve just lost my boy Raisin, he was only 4, who died suddenly almost 3 weeks ago. Some days I feel I’m coping ok, then like today, I can barely function.

All I can say is give yourself lots of time, be good to yourself, you are a good person who took this little kitten in to begin with when no one else would, don’t forget that.

I wish I could take your pain away, but give yourself time and you will slowly begin to heal.

Vicky x
HeartBroken12

Registered:
Posts: 158
 #4 
I second Vicky's message : "All I can say is give yourself lots of time, be good to yourself, you are a good person who took this little kitten in to begin with when no one else would, don’t forget that."

I wish we could ease your pain with our support, but I do understand it is hard to take all to heart.. When I lost my baby boy, I didn't really get what people were saying and felt like I didn't want to be helped. After time and being on this forum, knowing there are others understanding and can relate to my heartbrake, that helped in someway.
I hope you can go easier on yourself, you already are in much pain!
Many hugs and blessings! 🌷
Dolly455

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #5 
Support does help and thanks for the comments and prayers/ positivity. It does seem like this has been an exceptionally cruddy year. She was just a baby though. ugh... Just waiting for time to do its job I suppose. I hate to wish it away but...
VickyMJ

Registered:
Posts: 71
 #6 
I agree with you there, I’ve had a really rubbish year too.

I know it’s so hard, especially when they are taken from us so young, life really isn’t fair.

I’m also wishing the time away too, at least we’re not alone in feeling this way
Song4Sadie

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #7 
I wanted to tell you I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could have saved that day from ever happening. Whenever someone tells you that it’s not your fault, please believe them because it’s true.
I understand that doesn’t remove the pain you feel but just know that certainly no one is judging you we can’t imagine how we’d fair in those same circumstances. Please know that I hear your pain and am sending you many warm thoughts and hugs!!
I just lost my Sadie last week and I understand how loving and open your heart must be for the cats that you’ve loved.
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