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Dogsrgreat3

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Posts: 5
 #1 
I lost my best friend 2 days ago. He was a 12 year old minidox, wire coat. His name was Bailey, and I have been an absolute mess without him. My wife got him for me as a surprise because she knew how much I need a dog for my moderate to severe depression. We had to put him down because he developed a tumor on his heart and the sack around his heart was full of blood. I listened to what the vet as best I could but all I really wanted was to see him. (met my family at the er from work) they brought him to me and I just held him, petting and talking to him. He did not look like the friend I left when I went to work. I just let him kay in my arms and talk about him with my wife and I decided that letting him go was the best thing for him, i would not want to suffer like that. So after a half hour of crying and getting in as many cuddles and kisses as I could the vet came in to do what she needed to and I held him as much as possible. I am totally heartbroken and feel absolutely alone now. I just want the pain to go away. Everything around here reminds me of him and makes it worse. I have been sleeping with his favorite toy, witch helps a little, at least I can still smell him. Tthis feels just as bad as when I lost my first dog a boxer named pumpkin. The hardest part is I have a very hard time functioning without a dog, but it is to soon to get another one. I miss him so much. I don't care if I lose my job thats how hard this is for me. He was an awesome friend. He loved going on walks and track rabbits lol, he would get so excited when I showed him his leash and wre would go out to the meddow by our house whete I would let him rrun and play. This is all I can write for now. Update 4 days post loss: I have told my wife that I want to move from this area, its something we have talked about before we lost Bailey. Everything around here reminds me of him and feels like a stab to the chest. I have been trying to come up with 3 positive thoughts since the 22nd but can only come up with 2,
1. He isn't suffering anymore.
2. I'm getting lots of things done since I started distracting myself with work and projects.
Still not sleeping well have bouts of crying at random times but being where we are is the worst, when I go walk I keep waiting to hear Bailey running behind me to catch up, I turn around and he's not there. Also coming home is a chore now since he would wait at the door and whine until I opened it. I hate how hind sight is 20/20 because I should have known better when he would lay on his bed under our bed instead of laying in bed at my feet. Still working on getting pictures of him up.

https://www.petlossmessageboard.com/album?action=show_picture&fileid=4758085



Think I am past the constant sobbing phase and have entered the numbness. Sometimes I catch myself looking for Bailey in his usual spots, napping under the bed, or if its a sunny day napping in the window to our deck. Makes me sad but at least I am not a water works anymore. Itis still unreal that he is gone, and hard to explain to a 3 year old, (she keeps saying that when he gets better he will come back). I keep telling her Bailey is dead and not coming back. Yeah I have been thinking about looking at new pups, but still can't bring myself to actually do it. Yet............ After reading the report from the vet, reading about bailies condition, and putting 2 and 2 together I believe I know how all this happened. It's not going to sound pretty or nice no matter how you try to spin it so here goes.......................... My wife and oldest daughter killed Bailey, yes I said it. This didn't happen until I went to work, my wife comes home everyday and just lays in bed watching TV or chatting on her phone all night. I have had to constantly tell my oldest daughter to leave Bailey alone because she would always pick him up, i should have known something wasn't right when he would yelp when she picked him up, again with the hind sight bull, she must have picked him up sometime after I left and tried to play it off after she hurt him by accident. Then his sack filled with blood and you guys know the rest of the story. This is the only logical explanation for the events of the night I lost Bailey. Like I said it isn't pretty to hear or say, but it is the truth and the truth hurts.
hokienole

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #2 
Dogsrgreat3, I’m right there with you man.
You can read thru my recent post.

This feeling is hell, and awful.

I wish this on no one.

I have to return to my house today since my dog Liam died Wed and I dread it, as it’s where he lived too.

I wish I could meet up with you to talk, etc.
grievingmom

Registered:
Posts: 640
 #3 
Bailey sounds like he was a very cute dog. When our pets die, there is an unreal feeling. It takes a while for that to lift...and as it does, the pain sets in and wow. That "stage" can last a very long time.

In the days ahead your pain will ease but right now you justu want Bailey and that his understandable.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

My heart goes out to you.

God bless.
Summerkrae

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #4 
So sorry for the loss of your best pal. He knew you loved him very much. You did what was best for him which was to not let him suffer anymore. He would not want you to suffer too long. It is so hard. I lost my best pal on Wednesday. He had cancer, had had surgery and been on chemo for six months. He had a tumor in his kidney which was enlarged, fluid on his lungs and his stomach was displaced and he couldn’t eat. He could barely stand or walk. All he could do was drink a little water. I knew how much he was suffering but I kind of blame myself still. I still cry and have every day since but I’m trying to go on. I do have 2 other dogs and that helps. Maybe he would want you to get a new puppy in his honor when you feel like it? Sympathies.
hokienole

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #5 
Yep, Dogsrgreat3.

If u can post a pic/link, I’d love to see Bailey.
If it is too hard, I understand.

I’ve kind of gone numb at this point. The Uber amount of grief has subsided at least.
I still can’t believe what happened. Almost surreal.

(I posted this under my post too)

Keep talking about how awesome Bailey was here if it helps you.
hokienole

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Yep, Dogsrgreat3.

If u can post a pic/link, I’d love to see Bailey.
If it is too hard, I understand.

I’ve kind of gone numb at this point. The Uber amount of grief has subsided at least.
I still can’t believe what happened. Almost surreal.

(I posted this under my post too)

Keep talking about how awesome Bailey was here if it helps you.
LoriTaylor

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #7 
I lost my best friend 2 days ago he was only 8 years old... It was so sudden, last week he was running after chipmunks and Monday night he was gone.  It started Saturday vomiting after eating and by Sunday and Monday refusing to eat and stomach was getting very bloated at first we thought he had ingested something but by Monday afternoon his breathing became laboured his lungs and stomach were filling with fluid..... and liver readings were high... discovered that he had several tumours  on his liver... the Vet said the best thing to do is let him go he probably would not have made the night.  

My heart is broken in a thousand pieces can not stop crying for him.  He was my little man.....
alleyjo

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #8 
Dogsrgreat3  I can so relate. I lost my love of my life on Aug 9th. My heart has been broken since. I stay away from home as much as I can and I've also missed several days of work. I also suffer from depression so I feel like it's harder for people like us. I sit at my desk and sob. I tried getting another dog but I knew it was too soon and got cold feet and nearly ran out of the shelter. Don't push it. Do it when it feels right to you. You're not alone. Lots of us out here. HUGS 
Luvaqua21

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #9 
Hi. This is my first post, I ya e been reading on here for a couple of days now. I had to put my 6 year old Saint Bernard down on Monday, at 5:00 pm...he had bone cancer. I had been bringing him to vet after vet, trying to get a new diagnosis, but his last X-ray, mid-June, showed it had spread from his knee to both conjoining long bones. I was devastated. Still in denial. He was fine. His leg just hurt alittle. I kept him on pain pills around the clock. A couple weeks ago he started getting sores on both feet. I tended to those daily. He started losing a lot of weight, I could feel all the bones in his hind side. But he was so happy still, I thought. He stopped being able to climb steps, went only a few feet from the garage to potty. He could barely get up. He looked at me and whined a lot. Was waking us up at night to comfort him. He was declining, rapidly. I had to make a desicion. I wander if it was the right one. I miss him so much. It is so hard to be home without him. I see him everywhere I look. I can’t stop crying. My heart is broken in a way I have never felt before. Partly because it was my call, somebody please tell me I did the right thing. I can’t get past this.
Dogsrgreat3

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #10 
I would like to say thank you to all of you here, this is a big help for me and everyone else here. Yes Luvaqua21 I believe you did the right thing. Even though it was one of the hardest things to do, part of me was screaming out when I said to put Bailey down. You just need to ask yourself if you would want to live like that or not. We as pet owners show the world how full of compassion we are when faced with this situation.
LoriTaylor

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #11 
Our sweet angels have all met at the Rainbow Bridge.....
alleyjo

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #12 
Luvaqua21  Your story broke my heart.  It was your call but you really had no choice. Your pup was sick and you did what you did out of love. From what I read you took termendous care of your pup so that makes you a great human. I lost my pup on Aug 9th and it's the only thing I think about. I miss him so much and I cry all the time. He was 15 but still my baby boy. They say in time the heartbreak wont be so bad. I really wish that for everyone on these pages. Hugs to you. 
allbestfriendsgotoheaven

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #13 
I think you did the right thing. It sounds like you guys had an incredible bond. I wish I could shared that productivity though lol. I also feel like I see my dogs ghost, 3 years later. Sometimes I really feel like she's alive when I dream and then I wake up sobbing as reality soaks in. I share the same issue that you do with having a dog providing you mental stability and looking back on the animals I've had in my life, as much as it almost feels like you're betraying your best friend by getting a new dog right away, if you have the financial stability for it, I think the sooner you can get another dog, the better. Bailey would want you to be happy. It's been 3 years since my pup died and it pretty much caused me from being on top of the world to completely spiraling out of control. I lost everything, my job, spent the thousands I had saved up to try to save her (was only 21 when she died). I'm not saying you lack the control that I did and would end up like I did. Sounds like you have an awesome loving wife and a good job but I'm just saying that I think getting a puppy (if you have the means and the time to train one right now), sooner than later IME has always been the best option to heal and keep your life on track. I'm trying to get it together so I can get another pup in the next year or so. Sending you love + hugs. It'll be ok. You did the right thing
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