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Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #1 
UGH!! My cat is frozen at the hospital where she died. Since July 1! She died in their care, after they fixed what she came in with! It was sudden and has left me so speechless and sad!!! I’ve never been into cremation so I don’t even know if I could handle that. :( And I don’t want the vet to dispose of her, either. I don’t own a house and might move. Is a pet cemetery ok???!!! Thanks in advance!!
georgesmom

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Posts: 22
 #2 
Friendlygal, I am so sorry for your loss and whatever you think you can handle is okay - a pet cemetary or cremation.   I didn't do either with my first cat when he died years ago, I was so grief stricken I couldn't think straight so I brought him home from the vet and buried him in my back yard.  I have moved since then and regret that I had to leave him there.  I have had two other cats since then, both gone now and I have their ashes with me.  It was hard, don't get me wrong, but I will have them with me until I am gone and they go with me - those are my wishes. 
*Hugs*
Dawn1118

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Posts: 58
 #3 
Personally I think cremation is your best choice....especially if you don't own your home and you could move.  I'm not sure but I think it could be the most cost effective....so sorry for your loss  :(

Mocha's mom

Dawn
Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #4 
georgesmom and Dawn1118, thanks so much for that. I know what you mean about cremation being a way she could stay with me wherever I move, etc. HOWEVER, isn’t it so sad to see them burnt down to bone fragments? Is the urn only comforting because it’s beautiful? If you were to look at the actual ashes would you really feel as comforted and feel it’s your actual pets??
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #5 
The Walnut - a tale about the truth of what is life

 They seemed an unlikely pair as they played through the fall - so very different. The small furry knew most of his other friends and even his family did not understand, but he didn't care for he knew the walnut was a true friend. Hours they would spend playing, laughing, talking, just sitting together. It was a magical fall and both seemed to sense that it was special. They were very different to be sure, but as they saw it that simply meant they each had different gifts and strengths to share. As the fall progressed those around the furry one became concerned, they knew the walnut had only one season and the furry one would one day be left behind - and they could see the signs of age on the walnut, scratches and cracks in the shell, dulling of the glossy shell. That the furry one did not seem to see the changes worried them.

 One morning the furry one ran out to be with his friend and found him laying amongst the shattered bits that were left of his shell and his heart broke. He buried the bits and sat to cry for the loss of his friend. As he sat deep in grief his tears fell to the earth. His family and friends tried at first to console him but quickly moved on - it was just a walnut after all. So the furry one moved into the cold windy days of winter, each day going to the place where he had lost his friend - each day finding hope that it had been a dream dashed and feeling so very alone.

 As will the seasons, winter gave way to spring - and life seemed determine to renew itself. One morning when the furry one arrived at the place he went to feel close to his lost friend he was surprised to find a small sapling reaching up to celebrate the sun. 'Who are you? How dare you take this place!!' the furry one proclaimed. The small sapling chuckled, 'Did you really think I would leave you?' Now the furry one was shocked - the sapling spoke with his friend the walnut's voice.

 'I never left you dear friend. True, my shell shattered, but that shell was just a garment I wore for that season. I have been here with you as you sat and I tried to tell you not to cry. And I am here and will be always,' the walnut said softly.

(c) Candace 8/22/06

Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #6 
georgesmom and Dawn1118, thanks so much for that. I know what you mean about cremation being a way she could stay with me wherever I move, etc. HOWEVER, isn’t it so sad to see them burnt down to bone fragments? Is the urn only comforting because it’s beautiful? If you were to look at the actual ashes would you really feel as comforted and feel it’s your actual pets??
Pwazbinski

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Posts: 9
 #7 
I understand. I don't like cremation either...I wouldn't know if the body of our pet was treated with respect...I can't take a chance.. pam
Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #8 
Thanks, Pam! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has doubts about cremation. But I don’t have a yard and might move. Maybe if I put fur in a nice urn, and maybe also a picture, it’ll have the same effect? Did you bury? Thanks in advance!
tumbleweed

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Posts: 5
 #9 
This is very difficult nowadays to figure out what to do with the body.  Many times it is difficult to bury in your yard, and what if you do not have a yard.  In my county it is illegal to bury a pet in your yard.   

As Tina was not feeling well on Saturday  having had a hypoglycemia spell, I went and I sat in the woods for 15 minutes and as I was still I started to notice all the beautiful things in the woods, a beautifully made spider web, new ferns coming up and the beautiful bird song and wood thrush song.  I went home and that night my Tina (16 y.o.) could not breathe she was panting and stupid me, thinking she had high blood sugar and not low which it was, i gave her insulin which I think contributed to her death which came 4 hours later after she went into coma but still breathing.  Knowing that I could have saved her giving her corn syrup.  having read about it after the factd now I realize I hastened her demise and I feel like a criminal how could I be so stupid to let her suffer needlessly. She deserved better health and better death.  I'm bereft.  and I hate myself.  The world is empty now without her here. She was a beautiful spirit and a loving sweet soul.

anyway, to give respect to the body,  i decided that because she loved to see bunnies and hear birdsong that once she was given to me in a box by the vet, I would simply place her in the wilderness under birdsong and beautiful scenery in the ferns and let her become once again a part of the earth.  The ground being so hard, I was unable to dig down to bury her but I think in the end she will become at one with the beautiful earth in a peaceful place. I think its better than taking the body to the animal shelter, which you can do, and they will cremate the remains for you however you will not get the ashes back if you do that however it is an option if you do not have a proper burying place.
Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #10 
Thank you so much for that, tumbleweed. Please don’t punish yourself about your angel’s death. I totally can relate to you as I had a cat for 17 1/2 years (before this last one who died) who died who suffered so badly due to my mistake, and I also hated myself forever for it and thought I was a terrible person. But we aren’t. Accidents so happen. I think I will bury my cat in a cemetery. As I’m not sure how I feel about ashes. Hugs
tumbleweed

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Posts: 5
 #11 
Friendlygal, I think that is good then you can go visit and she will be safe from predators.  You are a good love to take care that way.   We don't get to have them long enough. We do the best we can.
Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #12 
Thanks, tumbleweed. What predators? And I felt bad that I will likely move after a year. But this cemetery is so beautiful, with an open landscape. So it feels so peaceful there.
tumbleweed

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Posts: 5
 #13 
Well a peaceful place is the absolute best place.   I have coyotes and foxes (but they eat mice & bunnies) where my Tina is but its quite beautiful there so that is where she is now in a bunny meadow with lots of birds.  I miss her so much.
pb313

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Posts: 104
 #14 
Friendlygal,
The cemetary sounds nice. If I were you, I would do what gave me the most peace. If you are uncomfortable about cremation then that is not best for you and your baby. We chose burial near a tree. Our little guy loved to lay under any bit of shade. So find what is best for you. This is already a difficult time so find what is best for you. It honestly sounds like you already know what that is.

May peace be in your heart.
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #15 
Thank you, pb313! I did end up burying her in a cemetery. Its not as professional as others I’ve seen (yet way more expensive). But it’s in a beautiful area, overlooking open spaces of beautiful, green hills. The beauty makes me feel she’d be still alive there in some way. That’s why I chose it even though it’s not an organized, family owned small business. Is it possible to attach a pic here of it? I would if I could...
Joe_L2

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Posts: 52
 #16 
Ghatten,

"The Walnut" story was so beautiful. I'm crying.


Baby Bunny's Big Brother, Joe
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #17 
Joe - I can only hope they were healing tears, the body is - like the walnut - only a shell that is inhabited for a time, the essence that makes us (be we human or other life form) is eternal. The shell is shed when its purpose has been served or it becomes too old or damaged. Our beloved companions still are - they simply are no longer visible to us in that same form. Reach inward to those rooms in your heart you thought were simply space, your baby now lives there.

ghattenwolf
Joe_L2

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Posts: 52
 #18 
ghattenwolf,

They were healing tears. Your words are very comforting and the imagery that you created with them are beautiful.

Thank you so much.

Joe
brightly_shining

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Posts: 4
 #19 
If you did get her cremated you could have her ashes turned into jewlery or scatter them at her favorite spot. A pet cemetery is perfect if that's the where you want her. There is no right and wrong in any of this.
Mondo

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 994
 #20 

When Tuffy passed away in 2014, we had him cremated and scattered the ashes in a favourite place on our walks.  A bridge over a pond .. kind of symbolic, the "bridge".

When Toby passed 11 months later to the day, we did the same.  Now I often walk past there when walking the girls (Ellie and Missy).  The boys dog tags are on my keychain.  I will often take them out then and hold them to my heart, and shed a tear.  

Hugs,
Tuffy, Toby, Ellie and Missy's Dad



Friendlygal

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Posts: 32
 #21 
I ended up burying her at a beautiful cemetery. She looked so beautiful in her casket. And she’s buried with many pictures of us.
brightly_shining

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Posts: 4
 #22 
I'm glad that you found what works for you. She knows you'll visit her often and she felt so loved.
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #23 
Brightly_shining, but the times that I won’t visit often,she is still in my heart 24/7. So even when I don’t it’s fine I think. As the cemetery stone isn’t her. I have a fur and footprints, picture and videos, and obsessed with her.
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