Registered: 1345563943 Posts: 10
We recently lost our only furbaby, my pup Rambo. I am not ready for another dog, as I am just so sad and I know I couldn't be a stable enough leader for a pet. She was my first pet and I'm just so heartbroken. However, I do find myself looking at dogs at shelters, reading their stories, etc. My husband is sad, but he is ready (he's had dogs his whole life). We are taking a trip next month and I told him we can have a discussion about it after that trip. I know it's different for everyone, but when did you know you were ready to bring someone new into your life?
Registered: 1326342541 Posts: 2,426
I think that it is different for everyone - and only you will know when the time is right. I have my Rambo and when we lost his sister Rascal I don't know what I would have done without him here with me. He was very lost and depressed for quite some time. He settled down (I am sure with Rascal's help). About 5 weeks ago (we lost Rascal in January) I adopted two baby kittens.
I truly don't believe there is a right or wrong answer. Your Rambo wants you to be happy and to love; be loved. I think you will know if/when you are ready Take care InMemoryOfRascal
Registered: 1164162392 Posts: 1,910
It's different for everyone. I am the sole human in the house, so my pets are my daily family. When I lost Jasmine cat I was devastated, and decided to next time get multiple kitties so I wouldn't "lose them all at once." Christmas was in the way, so it was three weeks before The Three (mother, and a cat from each of her two litters) arrived. I felt like a lonely little marble rattling around in an empty house. It was awful.
Years went by. The mother was gone. The day after I had the daughter put to sleep I went to visit Whitney and Houston. I'd made that appointment the week before, never dreaming that Shalimar was to leave this world so soon. I had guests arriving, so brought W&H home two weeks later and put them in the guest room. I still had Bartholomew, though he was elderly and failing... He lived another year, which was more than the vet and I had expected. That was 9 1/2 years ago and I still cry for him sometimes. To me a day without cats is a day hardly worth living. In the early days of those five, I'd be petting them and crying about the one most recently lost. A new fur baby will help you get through your grief, tho can't replace the unique being you lost. Most people say, don't adopt until you're ready. I say do it a little bit before you think you're ready. If you wait until you're through grieving, literally years could go by, and you'd have been without that love for so long, and the furred one would have been without the home and love that you could provide. That's what I personally have done. But on the message board on this site, I've read the gamut, from people who've gone to the shelter after leaving the vet's where their beloved angel was sent from this world (just couldn't stand the loneliness), to people who've waited 2 1/2 years. I've never had any trouble bonding with a new fur baby after losing one. To me cats are all so lovable and special and wonderful. Each in their own way.
Registered: 1178588167 Posts: 1,340
It really is different for everyone. When my heart dog Jackie left on 4/30/11 I decided I would not have another dog in my life because I was devastated by her passing. However I volunteer for an animal rescue group and I decided I would foster a dog until he found his forever home. I brought him to my house 3 weeks after Jackie left. It took me months to realize he had found his forever home with me and I formally adopted him. He needed me and I needed him. You will find the one when you open yourself to the possibility of loving another. JoAnn - Jackie, Chan and Daphne's mom (I lost all 3 of these babies last year so I really needed some healing)
Registered: 1345563943 Posts: 10
Thanks for your replies. They gave me a lot to think about. The truth is, my husband is ready NOW. He asked me to look at a dog this weekend, and I agreed to look, but I knew I wouldn't be ready to take anyone home. The dog he wanted was adopted right before we got there, but my husband was thankful I came anyway. I'm just not ready. I haven't even put away Rambo's toys or collars - the thought of another dog playing with her toys breaks my heart. I guess I need to tell my husband to stop looking at dogs for now.
Registered: 1342992164 Posts: 217
I think the time to get a new pet varies for each individual. I agree with Kamc22 that maybe the best time is a little before you think you are ready. We lost our beautiful Ginger July 21,12. We have looked at various dogs at our local spca but have not found the right one. In the meantime one of the members of our church is having miniature schnauzer puppies ready in November and we are planning on getting one of them.
To help ease the pain of an empty house for hubby and I we are kitten foster parents. We currently have 6 little ones in the house. Although they can't even come close to replacing ginger it is nice to have a little one to hug.
Registered: 1346800478 Posts: 9
I agree with everyone, and I had that question as well. When Lexie passed, I thought I could never go through that again. When we got home, it was so empty without her, so we took a few days and my wife found a Puppy that was posted the same day, around the same time that Lex passed and her Breeder named her Heavenly - So we added her to the family. At first, I thought it was early for me (and it was) but she has been funny and will never replace Lexie but she will be a big part of our family, in a different spot of our hearts. Even my Mom loves her added Grand Dog ...
Registered: 1340924276 Posts: 4,689
I think it depends on the person. We got a cat a month after losing Harry, and truthfully, I haven't bonded with her. I like her, but I wasn't ready. I think it is one of those things that will happen when you are ready, and you shouldn't rush into something.
Registered: 1338412923 Posts: 131
Agree with everyone that there's no right or wrong time ... you'll know when it's time. My Pumpkin dog died May 8, 2012 and I was devastated. I live alone and she was my only dog - had her for 11 years. I adopted a new dog, Bailey, on Aug. 11. I still cry for Pumpkin, but Bailey is just a joy and has brought new life into my home. Just days after I brought her home I had a dream in which I was hugging Pumpkin with my right arm and Bailey with my left. I let them go and they ran off playing. I feel strongly that it was a sign that Pumpkin is happy. Best of luck to you.
Registered: 1328189952 Posts: 43
We lost our cat Ellsworth in Feb 2012. We are now facing the departure of our 19 year old Mieux very soon. Right now I am thinking that I'll never have another pet. It's just too hard to lose them.
Registered: 1346262073 Posts: 2,465
Every one is different, as you have heard, the only thing I want to add is I do know a couple of people who thought they weren't ready and got a new pet for the rest of their family. They adored the new baby much more than they thought they would. But I am sure that doesn't happen for everyone..............Best wishes in whatever decision you make..........
Registered: 1241218153 Posts: 67
Everyone is different, but I thought I didn't want another dog right away when I lost my Zeus on 5/1/09. My husband brought me to see a litter a week later. I didn't want a puppy yet, but I fell in love with my Teddy Bear. I vowed then to NEVER be boxerless again. Unfortunately, Teddy had a congenital kidney problem and we lost him yesterday after only 3 years. We knew at 6 months that Teddy wouldn't be with us 8-12 years and I looked for a brother for him for over two years before I rescued a wonderful boxer puppy last Spring. Moby made Teddy's last months so happy, and I don't have an empty home. Moby gives me something to focus on outside of my grief and makes me smile at a time when all I want to do is cry. Hubby is already talking another puppy, and I eventually want another brindle boy like Teddy, but not yet. When it's time it will happen.
Registered: 1352014773 Posts: 47
We got two new little furry friends a week after we lost our Fluffy, I didn't think I was ready, my partner was. Two weeks on and it's all working out so well. We went for two complete opposites of Fluffy so there would be no comparison, but, these two although totally different do some of the same things - it's like they are following her scent and sleeping where she slept and using all her special places. We both missed the routine, the cuddles and the noise and fun that an animal adds to your life. We always wanted to get another cat, but Fluffy wanted to be our one and only pet, this way, we've given two new little furries a home for the rest of their lives.
Registered: 1359787455 Posts: 54
I had read online pet advice websites and they advise to wait at least 4 weeks. But just a day after I lost Scooter, my 16 1/2 yr old Jack Russell Terrier who had been in my life for 16 years, I happened to find a free 5 year old Jack Russell mix dog on Craigslist whose 'mama' had to give him to a good home because she had 3 young children and another one on the way. She didn't have the time to take care of the family dog.
The little JR mix (probably part Beagle) and I bonded instantly, and I wrote down my name, address, phone number, e-mail, and Facebook page for the 'mama' because her 4 year old daughter was having separation anxiety. She loved that dog. So, I brought him home with me. My 21 year old daughter, who was raised with Scooter, at first fell in love with the new dog, Roscoe, then she said it was a bad idea for me to adopt him so soon after Scooter's death, and then she told me her dad told her I was 'cheating' the grieving period by getting another dog who was the same breed as Scooter. She told me I was just trying to replace Scooter. I told her that no dog could ever replace Scooter. He and my daughter were raised together like brother and sister. They were my babies. Scooter was our family, and I will never feel that way about another dog. I'm a photography student, and I have taken some nice photographs of Roscoe and posted them on my photography Facebook page so the former owner, or "mama" as I like to call her, can show her little daughters and they can see that Roscoe is being well taken care of. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=203202516488328&set=a.126709450804302.26287.122248611250386&type=1&theater
Registered: 1368548883 Posts: 5
After our dog had to be put down in 2009 because of a tumor that grew on her face which went to fast spreading cancer, after having her all my life I knew it was going to be hard and to this day I never truly let go. I wasn't ready for another dog if anything for a few years and even with the new dog we have now thanks to my mother making some arrangements while taking me by surprise, I was still not ready. I definitely don't see the dog we have now anything like the one that was with me ever since I was a baby, basically. So sometimes even to this day it's hard for me to fully bond with our current dog because of this and just the fact that we weren't even all ready financially, but my mother being that one where logic has no place she was "desperate to get another dog". Long story on that if it's really needed to explain the whole thing so it can be known as to why I say that too. But since not much can be done at this point, I am used to the presence at least.
Registered: 1369401067 Posts: 9
Thank you for asking this question. I was on my way to ask the same thing! We lost our dog of 17 years in June and just this past week I've been thinking about when we might b e getting our next dog. I recently dogsat my sister's year old mix and found it very overwhelming to be watching a super active dog compared to my old lady. I did not see that much energy and mischief in her for years gone! I still don't think I'm emotionally ready yet but I also don't want to wait too long. We have cats in our home, and they are great company but I can't see myself without a dog in my life. Thanks for all the replies, I feel better knowing that I will know when I know!
Registered: 1218233676 Posts: 13
When Emily, my first cat, died in 2006, despite the fact that I only had three cats about four and a half years, I originally thought it was wrong to have "only" two cats and wanted to rush out to get another cat to fill the void. At the time, I was volunteering at an animal shelter, and I was scheduled to work there 24 hours after she was euthanized. I did not go to the shelter that day to resist the urge to take one of the kittens home when my mom did not want one. Good decision - when I came back to the shelter two weeks later, I got that urge to bring a kitten home. Mom decided she will never live with three cats again, so although I was ready immediately, I never adopted another kitten. Wilbur was euthanized a week before we moved from Ohio to Florida. Because only one cat went with us, only one cat was permitted in the lease, so I had to wait until Mom bought a condo this year. After she got the key, we kept finding a lot of things wrong with it and handyman work that must be done. Some of those projects will cost thousands of dollars. So now we don't have any money to take care of another cat. The whole time we have lived in Florida, I have wanted a second cat to keep Patricia company, but could not get one. I decided years ago to never live another day without cats, so I will make sure we get our next cat before Patricia (now 17) dies.