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Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #1 
Its over 7 minths since I lost my darling Max and I'm still heartbroken and so so upset - I miss him so so much it makes my heart hurt. His death came out of the blue and he was all alone at the vets when he died from pancreitis and I can't forgive myself. I put on a brave face to everyone but I still cry most days and wonder whether to see a pet loss counsellor?
RF

Registered:
Posts: 46
 #2 
What you're feeling is completely normal.  You have lost a loved one and your heart is broken.  I've had dozens of pets over the years, and it never gets easier when one dies (although if it has lived a good long life I can accept it a little better).  My cat Henry died seven months ago and I still cry when I think about him, which is many times every day.  It is especially sad that your pet died alone and you couldn't be there to hold him as he passed, but you had no control over that and Life often deals us and our pets lousy cards.  So let yourself grieve and cry when your feelings become overwhelming.  Ignore people who think you're being too emotional or weak.  Grieving is the way we honor our pets and the love we have for them.   Over time the deep grief does lessen and you won't be so overwhelmed, but it does take time and you have to let it happen.  Maybe consider getting another pet, not to replace the one who is gone, but to help fill the void he left and to give yourself another furry friend who needs you to love and care for it.   
Angel_Dawn

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Posts: 22
 #3 
I has been 5 years and 7 months since my cat Angel died. I still cry. Two months ago I had to say good buy to his sister. Pain doesn't go away. You adopt to live with it.
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #4 
Thank you so much for both of your kind replies - I did have a pet communicator who did tell me things that were spot on and that he was happy in heaven but I still miss him so much. I have two female dogs that Max lived with and he kept them all under control as leader of the pack and I have since adopted an unwanted neighbours dog that is cute but I feel nowhere near the feelings that I had for my naughty but nervous rescue Max. I’m so upset that our time together was cut short so unnecessarily but know we have to get on with it - it’s just so hard. I’m so sorry for your losses too - so heartbreaking when they go 😓
RF

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Posts: 46
 #5 
I'm pretty sure that you will slowly grow to love your new dog, and accept him for himself.  They know how to win our hearts, if we let them!  I wish you and him a happy life together.
Lynnsa

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Posts: 63
 #6 
He’s a lovely boy and he loves me so much as rescued from horrible home - he can’t believe his luck - regular walks good food and two girlie dog friends! I’m sure in time I will be besotted with him
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #7 
Lynnsa: I wish there was a magic point where we all knew the pain would go away. I was in our awesome pet store the other day and our long-term pet sitter asked about Annie and I just started bawling (she died in June). I felt a bit foolish standing there crying but she was so understanding and said "oh, hon, I stil cry over a dog I lost 8 years ago."

I do not think the pain goes away, but I suspect we just learn to live with it? or are able to compartmentalize the grief? I think the loss of a pet is a bit different than the loss of a human loved one. So many cannot relate to that grief (never had a pet); or are judgmental ("you are still crying over your dog?!!") so there can be a faint need to keep that grief under wraps in front of others; or feeling like we cannot talk about it the way we might if it were a human loved one. That is why I love this group -- people understand; there is no judgement if we are grieving a day later, a year later, or still bawling years later.

Hang in there.
Lynnsa

Registered:
Posts: 63
 #8 
Dogsarepeopletoo - thank you so much and I am so sorry for your loss too - its so very difficult for us left behind.
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