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Posts: 35
It's my baby's 5th birthday on the weekend. And she's been gone 1 year next month..
It still hurts so much and I still feel so guilty, even though it was a genetic condition that caused her to get so sick.

I keep thinking what if and have memories of where I wish I just cuddled her instead of saying no. We bought a brand new lounge 6 months before she passed and there was a no dogs allowed rule.
One memory I keep coming back to, is I was laying on the lounge and she walked up and pawed at me to ask for a cuddle and I told her to get down.

I suppose if we all knew then what we knew now, we wouldn't have regrets, but it still makes my heart ache thinking about everything I miss doing with her...

Here's to hoping the weekend isn't too painful. What does everyone else do on the birthdays of their babies?

Posts: 580
I don't celebrate Termy's birthday, except to wish him a happy birthday. I tell him I miss sharing a cupcake with him. I do celebrate his Bridge day. I release a balloon with a note attached on September 18th. This year will make two years without him.
There is nothing wrong with remembering Coco's special day. We all need to do something that make sharing our lives with them meaningful. We all think back to days when we said or did something we regret but that's just human nature. Our babies understand and hold no grudges. Yes, if we could know the day we would have to say goodbye, we would do everything a bit different. Wouldn't we?

Missing your sweet Coco is all part of the love you shared with her. Be kind to yourself. Let the guilt go. You don't do Coco justice by holding onto the guilt. She wouldn't want that.
We all wish them back so we can do everything all over again.
Sending you support and love
Termy's mom

Posts: 3
I understand completely what you're talking about. I just lost my budgie yesterday and I wasn't here when she passed. I did notice that she was on the opposite side of the cage (on the floor) when I returned home but she was already deceased. That got me thinking that maybe she was looking for me since that's the side of her cage where I always sat.  That thought is driving me crazy. I wish I was here when she passed to give her some comfort.  It's pointless to be thinking this now since it's over and done with but it's still nagging at me. I just can't help it.

Posts: 1
I had to let my baby cat go on December 29th and it took me two weeks to leave the house. I’m still crying hard, too, and feeling guilty, lonely, mad, name it, I’ve got it. I wish I knew when it would pass, but I also feel like if I’m not sad, then I’m not remembering her or she’s not real anymore. It’s a horrible place to sit in and I feel for you!
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