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dustysmom

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Posts: 16
 #1 
I am putting my beloved Shih Tzu to sleep tomorrow because he's suffering from a recurring tumor that's affecting his ability to deficate.  I opted to put him to sleep instead of putting him through another painful surgery, when chances of the tumor growing back is very probable.  He's my fur baby.  I love him so so much and the thought of putting him to sleep breaks my heart but I don't want to see him suffer anymore.  I spend my days crying at the thought of not having him in my life.  When will this pain end?  When will I stop feeling sad?  I am going to miss his cute little face so much!  Sometimes my pain is so strong it's unbearable and I feel inconsolable.  I'm sure all of you reading this can relate to how I'm feeling, as we are all suffering the loss of out pet, our loyal family member.  I haven't decided if I want to cremate him and keep his ashes.  I just can't bear the thought of him dying in my arms as the vet gives him the injection.  I feel my heart is going to shatter into a million pieces and I will start bawling at the vet's office.

Thanks for letting me share my grief.  Sometimes the pain is soo strong I can't deal with it.

Dusty's mom
Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #2 
Dear Dusty's Mom:
I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved Shih Tzu.  My heart goes out to you.  Some of the decisions we make for our loved pets are extremely difficult and I feel your pain.  

Please try to think about all the wonderful times with Dusty and that you will all be reunited  in happiness.
We are all here for you to help you through this very sad time.

I will pray for you and Dusty.

Many Hugs,
Mary
Meisters Mom


 
JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #3 
I am so sorry for what you are about to do, but it is the right thing to do. It was a little over a month ago I too had to make the journey you will make tomorrow. This site has and still helps me with our loss. I wish I could answer your question as to when the pain will end but I nor can anyone else. We all here have to deal with it in our own terms, sorry I am not trying to sound callous or harsh during this trying time in your life. I and many more who will be here for you have gone through what you are about to do. It is about the quality of life we want for our companions and soul mates. You are doing this for the love you have for him. He will always be with you as so many others who have departed on their journey to the bridge, he will forever be in your heart. I can only say how sorry I am and my thoughts and prayers, as will many more here, be with you tomorrow.---Jerry in Oklahoma.

Dusty,you know your mommy loves you so very much, God's Speed on your journey to the Rainbow Bridge. I will ask our departed Peaches tonight to be there waiting for you as will all the other special friends you will be meeting. I know you will always be in your mommy's heart as she is in your's as you  look down and watch over her until the day comes when we can all meet again.
HelenY

Registered:
Posts: 1,415
 #4 
Dear Dusty's Mom--  I'm so sorry that you have to say good-bye to your precious furbaby.  Just know that you're doing this because you love him and he does understand that.  As Jerry on this site has said, it is our gift to them for all the years of unconditional love.  Your little Dusty will be young & healthy again at the Rainbow Bridge.  He'll be greeted with open paws and wagging tails by our furchildren.
    I know how hard it is to lose such a special one--one who has been there for you through the good and bad times; one who patiently waits for your every arrival home; and one who loves you unconditionally.
    You are in the right place here with all wonderful people who understand the grief and pain of losing your Dusty.  The love & support that you receive will equal nothing you've experienced.  This has been my therapy since my loss almost 8 months ago.  I don't know where I'd be without this site.  I still cry every day, but I know that it's OK to do that and not be judged for it.
    I will be thinking of you tomorrow and saying many prayers that your little Dusty will have a peaceful journey to the Rainbow Bridge.

                 Many hugs-- Teddy's Mom

Georgeann

Registered:
Posts: 2,245
 #5 
Dear Dusty's Mom:
I am so sorry you are going through this horrible torment.  I too lost my Precious Shih Tzu Christopher.  He has been gone for over 15 months and I still cry for him every day.  Christopher had pulmonary hypertension and heart disease.  I fought his illness to the bitter end.  I would have given my life to save him but in the end I had to make the same decision.  When he cried out in pain that is when I had to let him go to the Bridge.  I will Never forget him dying in my arm,s but I would never have let him go and not been there for him.  How long will the pain last?  I think Forever. Below is a post that Buddy's mommy sent me.  Buddy is s Shih Tzu as well.  I read this a lot.

How Long Will The Pain Last?
Author:  Martha White

How long will the pain last?" a broken-hearted mourner asked me. "All the rest of your life", I have to answer truthfully. We never quite forget. No matter how many years pass, we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation. Part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives. As years go by, we manage. There are things to do, people to care for, tasks that call for full attention. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that echoes, see a photograph in an album, see a landscape that once we saw together, and it seems as though a knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully. And mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow; it brings back happiness with it.

How long will the pain last? All the rest of your life. But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this is true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease all together. For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

 
Losing Christopher was the worst think that has happened to me in my over 50 years of life.  He was my Heart, My Soul and My Best Friend.  When he left me I felt as if my soul left with him.  The only reason I have survived as long as I have is because of all the wonderful people on this site.  We are all here when you need us.  I am so sorry there is nothing more you can do for Dusty.  You and Dusty are in my Prayers.  I know that Christopher and all our fur babies will be at the Bridge to Greet Dusty and watch over him for you. 

Sending Big Hugs and Prayers Your Way
Georgeann and Christopher
Forever


My Precious Angel
Please Say a Prayer For Dusty
He Needs God's Help
You Are MY Man And I Love You
Mommy
csl5150

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #6 

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I had to make the same decision on Friday.  It's never an easy decision to make. 

Nancee

Registered:
Posts: 1,328
 #7 
Dusty's Mom-- The time between the decision, the phone call and the event is almost like torture. It's hard to know what to do with yourself--to calm yourself down. 
 I try to think of their spirits and what they need to move on and that all any of us are are really spirits having a physical experience. I just try to think of it in broader terms, but that's only me.
What helps me is praying to St. Francis. I think he's a cool saint and he has a big heart for both animals and their owners.
I hope he helps you through this. Take care.
ilvmypets

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #8 

My husband and I just made the decision today for our beloved Shoobie.  We rescued him 18 months ago from the shelter.  A St. Bernard mixed w/a greater swiss mountain dog.  He had three different owners, none of which knew how to take care of him.  We nursed him through cancer sugery last Oct.  Sadly three weeks ago he became very ill, couldn't keep down food, was straining to urinate and the cancer was back.  He was vomiting 3 - 6 times a day, the meds the vet gave him weren't helping. Everytime I looked at him I felt sad, so we made the decision today, he wasn't going to get better.  We feel that the last few years of his life was a blessing for him and us.  He knew what the good life was, and he gave us so much joy and love.  We will never forget him.  I am hurting so much right now but I know we gave him all we could.  I'll pray for you.

Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #9 
Dear Dusty's Mom,

I am so sorry that you must let your little Shihtzu boy go.  It is the most loving and selfless gift you can give your little Dusty, releasing him from his suffering.  We all can indeed relate to all that you are going through - I'm so sad for you because I know how excruciatingly painful this time is for you.

I will keep you and Dusty in my thoughts and prayers.  Please know we are here for you.  I hope your baby boy has a peaceful transition - he will have his mom with him who loves him so very much, and that will help.

Hugs,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever
rupertsmum

Registered:
Posts: 820
 #10 

So sorry for the terrible decision you have to make.  I made that decision 21 weeks ago.  My Rupert was dying before my eyes, couldn't walk, eat or drink on that particular morning.  It was the last stage of kidney disease.  It is the hardest decision you will have to make and the time until the vet comes you feel someone is ripping your heart out.  I will be thinking of you at this horrible time.  Decide what is to happen  to his body before the vet comes as it is too hard later.  Because it was summer here and he was to be cremated I only had him for 2 hours after he had passed. Ruperts Mum 

dustysmom

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #11 
Today is the day I'm putting my beloved Dusty to sleep.  Thank you all for your kind words and support.  I know you all know how I'm feeing right now.  I believe I will need much support for many weeks (months, years) to come after today.  It's the hardest thing I have to do, but it's the best thing I can do for him.  Whenever I see a rainbow in the sky, I will be reminded that Dusty and all your fur babies are up there in the skies looking down at us with a smile, because they are all happy and painfree.

Thanks for listening.  I am going to take him now.  BIG SIGH.

Dusty's mom
bugsdogs

Registered:
Posts: 1,288
 #12 
Sending you all of the strength you need for this very hard day. I am so very sorry that you must lose you wonderful Dusty today. I will be thinking of you and want you to know that we will send you prayers. For both you and Dusty..

I am so very sorry,
Helen
Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #13 
Dear Dusty's Mom,

I'm sending you big hugs, keeping you and your Beloved little Dusty in my thoughts and prayers.

Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever
bornitz

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #14 
Dear Dusty's Mom,

I'm sending you all the strength I have to help you through this. I've been down this road and it isn't an easy one. Sending prayers yours and Dusty's way.

My deepest condolences,
  Bonnie


Georgeann

Registered:
Posts: 2,245
 #15 
Dear Dusty's Mom:
I am in Tears and My Heart breaks for you as I know what a nightmare Today and Forever is going to be for you.  I am praying for you and Dusty.  I have asked Christopher to take really good care of Dusty for you until you are with Dusty again.

Sending Strength, Hugs, and Prayers Your Way
Georgeann and Christopher
Forever
dustysmom

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #16 
I am so grateful that all of you are so kind and understanding, as we are all pet owners who have lost a very special pet in our lives.  Dusty is now gone.  I watched him sleep eternally before my eyes.  I stayed afterwards and watched over him until his body is no longer warm.  It was quick and he slept peacefully. 

Now I have to deal with the sadness of coming back to an empty house without him.  I had to make the painful decision and remove his food dish, water bowl, beds, clothes, brush, toys, etc.  It feels so weird to not hear his little pitter patter on the floor, or see him when I come home.  My house is a difficult place to return to now.  I can't bear to be in the house knowing he is no longer going to be there.  I even had to purposely not eat dinner at home, because I can't bear being in the kitchen and not see Dusty sniffing around, waiting for me to drop some scraps so he can scarf it down.  Looking at the street where my house is, I remember all the walks I took him on.  All these are reminders of him and they are very bittersweet memories. 

It's amazing how something so small can occupy such a big part of my heart.  I really really really miss him so so so very much.  My heart literally aches when I think that I will never see him again.  It will be another week before I receive his ashes.  I chose to put his ashes in a wooden personalized box.  This way, I will always have him with me.  He's truly my best pal, my sweet darling little baby.  I miss seeing his cute little face and giving him his favorite belly rubs.  I miss seeing him nappy by my feet.  I just miss him so so very much, sometimes the pain is so intense I don't know how to deal with it.

I am glad I have this place to go to and wonderful people here who are very compassionate and understanding, because you all know the pain I am going through right now.  I hope with every passing day, my pain will ease.  I really hope Dusty is on his merry way to Rainbow Bridge and not lying lifelessly wrapped in a blanket at the Vet's office.

Dusty's Mom
Lucifer

Registered:
Posts: 24
 #17 
Dear Dusty's Mom,
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this terrible time. My Lucy will be there with all the others to greet your Dusty and get him settled until you and he are together once more.    
Blessed Be,
Lucifer
JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #18 

So sorry for your loss your description of coming home fit mine exactly the day I helped our Peaches on her journey. I and so many here know what you are going through for each of us is probably reliving that exact same moment in time we all had to do what you did. It will take time and I know during the next few days it will be hard to focus, but try and bring into your heart the good times and be thankful Dusty was in your life I know he is because you were in his. I am sure Peaches was there as were many more to greet him as he arrived. He will, as they all do, be a part of you and in your heart forever all you have to do is whisper his name and he will be there. May you in time find peace. This site and all the caring people here will help you get through this. Each one has been there and know what you are going through. Sometimes even your closes friends or family have no idea what you are going through, but we here do. God Bless You.---Jerry in Oklahoma.

dustysmom

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #19 
Here's a picture of Dusty I want to share with you all.  I miss him so much my heart aches.  I miss not seeing his little face and body next to me all the time.  He's kept me company for many many years.  Even when he was ill, he was still wagging his tail, making me happy.

It's hard to wake up in the morning to start a new day knowing that I will never see Dusty again.  I really really miss him.

I hope he's up at Rainbow Bridge playing with his new friends, having the time of his life without any tumors or suffering.


Georgeann

Registered:
Posts: 2,245
 #20 
Dear Dusty's Mom:
Dusty is adorable and of course his picture made me cry. What a sweet loving face.  You can tell how much he loves his mommy.  I know that all our babies are at the Bridge Watching over Dusty so please do not worry about him. I know that they are all safe and are no longer in pain.   I know that life becomes such a nightmare when they are gone.  I cannot tell you how long I begged God to let me go with Christopher.  As you can see I am still here.  My Heart will be Broken Forever and I will miss Christopher for the rest of my Life.  I am here if you need anything.  You and Dusty are in my Prayers.

Big Hugs
Georgeann and Christopher
Forever


My Precious Angel
Please Watch Over Dusty
And Keep Him Safe Until
His Mommy Arrives. 
You Are My Man And I Love You
Mommy
KeaElsa

Registered:
Posts: 113
 #21 
(((((((((Dusty & Mommy))))))))))  my heart aches for you now, but after reading what you said, it put a smile on my face.  You said this, "it's the hardest thing I have to do, but it's the best thing I can do for him"  It takes alot out of us all to realize that we do it for our fur babies,  to not keep them around for us, but for them we do what we have to do. 
 
You will see your Dusty again, when it is your time to go forward.  You will remain in my prayers as you go through this first night and alot more firsts. 
 
Take care my friend and know you are thought of on this most quietest night. 
 
((((((((((Mommy & Dusty)))))))))))
 
Glad you are not in any more pain Dusty, come and see your mommy soon, she will need to know you are near her, and give her a sign that you have been there.  Your mommy is a selfless person for doing what she had to do with you.  Be proud of her and her knowledge to know what had to be done in order to release you.  Give your mommy a lick when you see her again.
 
KeaElsa - - Mommy to Kea, Elsa, Casper, Brandy, King, Dusty and Flagg
 

THERE ARE NEVER ANY GOOD BYES, ONLY WELL WISHES, TIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

rupertsmum

Registered:
Posts: 820
 #22 
So sorry about the loss of Dusty.  I know the pain you are in.
Your Dusty is up there running around and one day you will see him again.  His photos, memories are in your heart and you will always have them.  Make a journal and write his life story.  Collect photos, all those things helped me to do my Rupert justice.  They are our precious babies and we need to remember everything about them. It helps with the grieving which can take a long time.  All the best Ruperts Mum  
Shiannon

Registered:
Posts: 76
 #23 
dear Dusty's mum,

I am so sorry. I am feeling your pain, believe me. It is not easy to lose a great love, companion, friend and soul mate.

He is a beautiful little boy. His big eyes are heart melting. All my boy had to do was look at me and I would melt. It's just their natural charm and love, isn't it?

Sending out lots of hugs and support. We are united in grief and love for our babies.  And we will be united in love again one day in the light with our special furbaby's.

I am crying now for your baby and for mine.  Please be kind to yourself.

Shiannon

Lucifer

Registered:
Posts: 24
 #24 
What a sweet picture! What a darling little guy! I know that you can rest assured knowing at least that your Dusty is safely on the Other Side, romping around and having a wonderful time. Not much, but some comfort. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

polkadots

Registered:
Posts: 117
 #25 
Hi Dusty's mom.

I too wonder when the pain will end. So blessed I have found this site to have a shoulder to cry on with all of you. Like other posts I'm reading the grief 'waves' are just unbearable. and unpredictable. We've lost pets before but each time it feels harder than the earlier ones.

Hang in there. Tell Dusty often how much you love her. I know they are listening.

I was driving this morning to take down the last of Daisy's flyers off a stop sign by the Publix store. When I hit my turn signal to turn right by the sign suddenly my turn signal starts flashing very fast and erratic- pointing left to the flyer w/ Daisy's picture. the turn signal never acting up again- and has never done this before. I believe in signs. there are everywhere. The Lord letting us know they have our cherished ones on the lap and they're safe, sound and happy. My mom has been giving similar signs all over the place since her passing in 2000.

To all of you in this forum I send you all my love and comfort. God bless you, Pat
mw0263

Registered:
Posts: 139
 #26 
Dearest Dusty's Mom,

I am truly sorry for your loss and know exactly what you are feeling when walking into your home and Dusty is not there.  It's a God awful feeling in the very soul of your being.  I've been told to write a journal but haven't been able to bring myself to do that yet, maybe one day but it hasn't even been five weeks yet for me and although it seems like a long time it is not.I have started getting used to my new routine but long for my old one.  I hope that soon you will find some comfort and coming here is a great start.  The people here are wonderful and so caring.  We all  know what we are all going through and it helps when someone else writes down something that you're feeling and you think to yourself - guess my not crazy after all.  Keep coming here and posting whatever you need to.

By the way, Dusty is just a wonderful little dogie.  Those eyes say it all.  So much love, you are lucky because you were so loved by Dusty.  I can just tell from that one picture.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Margaret
dustysmom

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #27 
Thank you all for all your support.  This is a wonderful place to be, as everyone is united by sharing similar experiences.  We are all going through something so heart wrenching.  It's great to know there's support out there.

Yes, the eyes says it all.  I love Dusty's eyes.  They're so big and bright and the way he looks at me always makes me melt.  He loves head rubs and belly rubs.  When I rub his belly, he'll roll over on his back so I can have more access to rub his belly.  There are so many things about him that's so endearing and adorable.  Those are the exact things I'm missing about him right now. 

It's only been 3 days and the pain is still very raw.  I just know that I miss him tremendously.  I hope he knows how much I miss him. 

3 days before putting him to sleep, I took him to the groomer to give him a final grooming.  I'm glad to know when he left me, he was clean and well groomed, so when he's at Rainbow Bridge playing, he'll be one handsome boy freshly groomed.

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts.

Dusty's mom
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