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Posts: 4
Hi everyone.  I haven't been here in several years.  This afternoon I had to have my sweet 20-year-old Himalayan, Yogi, put to sleep.  I'm a mess now.

Yogi was a hermit.  He liked to stay under the bed and only come out to eat, drink, or use the litter box.  And get a few treats.  He was beautiful and such a sweetie.  No trouble at all.  About a year and a half ago he decided to give up the "hidey spot" and so I moved his bed to the corner of the room by my side of the bed.  He even got so brave as to explore the house at night after I went to bed.  He had begun this "caterwauling" thing when he would climb back into bed.  He had never been vocal before.  I was so proud of him for getting some courage and finding his voice.

About a month ago the vet thought she could feel a mass in his abdomen but he wasn't having any symptoms.  About a week ago his appetite went down as did his activity and voice.  X-ray showed a very large mass in his abdomen.  He was also very anemic.  I scheduled a vet to come out a couple of days later but then couldn't go through with it.  Yesterday, with his increasing weakness and decreasing appetite, and appearing uncomfortable, I rescheduled for today.

He was still alert and that is what is bothering me now.  My head knows I didn't act too soon but my heart hasn't accepted it.  I did some research on "when it's time" and one vet had said "Better a week too early than a day too late."  I know that in a week Yogi would have either been here and suffering or would have already starved to death.  

It's just so hard to take this final step and know you did the right thing.  I feel like I let him down because I couldn't make him well again and I did this to him instead.  I hope he forgives me.

My heart is broken into a zillion pieces.

Posts: 607
I’m so sorry your post was missed. I’m so sorry for your loss. Making that decision is so awful, but we do it because we love them so much. You gave Yogi a beautiful life and most certainly did not let him down. You loved him with all your being and chose what was best for him rather than for yourself. I hope you are ok.

Posts: 1,355
I am sorry for the loss of your boy.  You did the best thing for him - you took his pain and put it on yourself.  You set him free to fly away on angel wings and someday you will be together again and never be apart.

JoAnn - mom to many Bridge babies
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