Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #1 
Poor kitty is still frozen as I don’t know what to do! :( I feel freaked out about ashes. I’ll likely move, but if I leave her in a beautiful cemetery, isn’t that OK??!! I’ll visit her an INSANE amount before I move. It seems that everyone cremates!!! I don’t wanna feel like a bad mama if I don’t! Why is it so awful to choose a beautiful cemetery?! Hasn’t anyone else here done that?!
ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,010
 #2 
Hi Friendlygal:

I think you have to do what you feel is best for yourself and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.  If you are freaked out about ashes, then I would definitely go with the pet cemetery where you can visit your beloved whenever you want.

We decided to have both of our dogs cremated.  Ashes don't bother me and in fact we planted a tree for each of them in our backyard where we put some of their ashes in when we planted their respective trees.  It did give me some comfort when we brought their ashes home.  We have urns that my husband (who is a woodworker) made for them.  We felt that way we still have a part of them with us.

You have to do what brings you the most comfort.  Just know that no one here will judge you and you can feel free to express your feelings whenever you want.

I'm sending you thoughts of peace and comfort at this difficult time.

Barb
(Angel Brandy's and Angel Miriam's mom)
~forever~
Dawn1118

Registered:
Posts: 58
 #3 
I have heard of people burying in cemetery's but it might be costly.  I even know of some that have had funerals.  So you do whatever you want to do!  And don't worry about what people think.  God bless you~

Mocha's Mom

Dawn
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #4 
THANK YOU BOTH, Ourbrandy and Dawn!! The problem I have with a cemetery is that I want to move states. So then I’d feel far from her, eventually. :( I was thinking maybe if I put her fur in an urn then I might get the same comfort as you? Good to know that your urns give you comfort and that the ashes never freak you out!! This whole death thing is freaky, whether we bury or cremate, so I should realize that. I hope to get past the burning aspect of cremation. What about it makes you think the ashes are your pet? Is it because you can see bone fragments? And is it the urn you look at that gives you the comfort? If you were to open it and look at the actual bag of ashes, you’d still feel comforted. Thanks for all your info! I hope I decide by Friday!!
Dawn1118

Registered:
Posts: 58
 #5 
Hi FriendlyGal....My Mocha went to Rainbow bridge on 5/4/18 and i got her ashes a weekr later.  To be honest with you, I couldn't even go pick the ashes up.  My son did and he kept them until I was ready.  I couldn't phathom looking at them.  I have since gotten them from my son but I have not looked at them yet.  They are in the urn and in a decorative bag with Mocha's name on it.  Also in the bag is an impression of Mocha's paw print, I haven't looked at that either.  For now, the decorative bag sits in my living room next to my TV with her harness.  I will look at the paw print impression someday when I am ready because I plan on getting her paw print tattooed onto my heart but for now the bag is there where i light a candle every night for her.  Maybe you can do something like that. I miss her so much it hurts!  I have cried buckets of tears for my sweet baby Mo.  I cry now, as i type this to you. I hope I have helped you in some small way FriendlyGal, I wish you the best~

Mocha's Mom

Dawn
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #6 
Dawn, that is just so beautiful. Thank you for sharing all that. Love your tattoo idea! I never was into one, yet I was thinking of getting one with Eva's(pronounced “Ay-vah”) beautiful face as well. I likely won’t, but it crossed my mind! Even though the receiving the ashes was hard, do you feel it will slowly bring more and more comfort? Also, I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs
Dawn1118

Registered:
Posts: 58
 #7 
Friendlygal....  I do, think it will help me because i couldn't phathom leaving where i live and not having Mocha with me in some way other then my heart.  I didn't do it with my first dog 26 years ago and when I moved I felt like I was leaving her behind.  So I know how it feels both ways.  And I have to be honest having Mocha's ashes where I can see them makes me sad cause I would rather she still be here with me but I'm a little silly in thinking of it as she is with me where she is warm from the weather and not left in the ground somewhere.  I think someday you might feel the same because you are questioning it.  and as for a tattoo, I have 2 now and I was scared to death....but it really doesn't hurt that bad and it also depends where you put it on your body.  Some places are more sensitive then others.  I didn't even get my first tattoo until I was 45. And they now even have a great type of topical numbing ointment.  I hope I can help you in some small way.  Just think about it carefully...

Mocha's Mom

Dawn
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #8 
Dawn, but part of the reasons I don’t know if I should do cremation is I’m thinking that seeing her ashes would sometimes make me sad. There’s a beautiful cemetery so maybe even if I leave her there (move after visiting herme like crazy all year), I won’t feel bad, after all. Because that cemetery is so beautiful. So maybe if I bury her there and also have an urn with her fur, then I’d feel the same way about the urn as people do with ashes? I hope so! Thanks for sharing about how you el about the urn. It’s so nice of you and helpful. Cool about your tattoos. Oh I am not thinking about the pain, I never wanted one before. I only thought about it now as I miss my dear Eva so much. But, I likely won’t. It’s not usually my thing. I like looking at other oeople’s though. Hugs
Dawn1118

Registered:
Posts: 58
 #9 
I understand completely!
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #10 
Dawn, by the way, do you think I could get a paw print from the hospital staff ? She’s frozen there. I’m wondering if it’d work if they thawed her out. That and getting some fur after a thaw out? :(
lindaw

Registered:
Posts: 304
 #11 
We've buried all of our pets in the pet cemetery at the edge of the woods. It brings me comfort to keep flowers on their graves, but I also understand that with you moving you won't be able to do this. If you decide to go with the cemetery, could you get a small marker, maybe with a flower or something on it? That way your baby's grave will never be without something on it, plus I'm sure lots of visitors will be passing by daily.
Whatever your decision, please be at peace with it. 

Linda...Macy's mom
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #12 
Thanks, Linda!!! She’s buried at a cemetery by now. I buried her there Friday, FINALLY. The only thing is, this place doesn’t allow much in the form of putting flowers that stay forever. They aren’t very professional, AT ALL. It’s a family owned pet cemetery. But it’s at a place with such a beautiful backdrop. As it’s at a rural setting. They don’t take good care of the markers, but since they are overlooking such beautiful, open green hills, it’s a place where you feel that your animals are in some way alive, enjoying the scenic beauty. That’s why I chose it. The other places are way more professional and are part of a human cemetery as well. But again, as it’s so beautiful in this particular rural area, that’s why I chose it. So perhaps the stone quality doesn’t matter. I’ll visit her quite a bit while I’m here. And take videos of the place so that if I move, I can still have the place in my heart. Is there a way I can show you here pix of it there? Hugs
lindaw

Registered:
Posts: 304
 #13 
friendlygal....I'm glad you made a decision. You're right, as long as the surroundings are lovely, you sweet baby an you will be at peace. 
Friendlygal

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #14 
Thank you, Lindaw!! I really hope that when I officially order the wording on her stone, that they will get in what I want! As with some stones there, you can barely even see the writing, and with other ones you can. The old woman who runs the place (she inherited it from her father in law who passed at 92), she said you can’t always get what you ask for and that it’s the place they order it from that’s at fault. But it ISN’T their fault! She says it doesn’t always come in “bold letters” even when they ask for it to. But I spoke to someone at a more professional cemetery and he said it’s not “bold” that you’re supposed to ask for, but “LITHOGRAPH”! And that it’s not the place they get it from’s fault, but the cemetery’s fault if it comes in wrong lol. So I’ll stress that I want lithograph and I hope she knows what it means. It’s a beautiful rural city and that’s why she’s buried there...
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: