Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
My Precious Christopher: Well here I sit once again. It is “One More Day” without you. My heart is broken and the tears are rolling down my face. It is June 20, 2008 and it has been 15 months since I saw your beautiful face, felt your sweet kisses and held your precious body in my arms. I still ask myself why God would want us apart; I still have no answers and likely never will. Not a minute goes by that you are not on my mind. Your loss has had such a profound impact on my life. I am sad, lonely and heartbroken. I know that I will never get over losing you. I will never forget the happiness and the laughter that you brought into my life. You were my lifeline for so long that I find it impossible to function normally without you. Everyone else has moved on and all believe that I should as well. I have tried, but I cannot find my way. People tell me that I should focus on the wonderful memories of you; that makes me cry. I still do not know how one heals without a soul. I need you and no one understands. Most days are still pretty awful. I cry a lot, I feel as if I am suffocating, and the pain in my Heart is overwhelming. I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to bring you back. I am not sure if that makes me feel helpless or angry. All my emotions seem to run together. I know that you are no longer in pain. I know that you miss me too. Unfortunately it does nothing to help ease this overwhelming sadness that fills my life every day. I have tried everything humanly possible to heal; nothing has worked. I still cannot sleep without medication and even then I wake up many times a night thinking of you. I always look for you next to me in hopes that I am dreaming and I will find you sleeping in my arms once again-no such luck. I do believe that I will grieve for you until it is my time to join you at the Bridge. I knew that you were not going to live forever, but I guess I never thought that you were going to die. I still count every day that goes by because as each day passes it brings me one day closer to being with you again Forever. Each night I go outside and speak to your Star. I can see it sparkling in the night; I know that you are excited to see me. I know how much you love me and I know that you never wanted to leave this earth without me. I Love you Christopher and I miss you. I long to hold you in my arms and I would give the world to spend one more day with you. One More Day by Diamond Rio makes me think of you; I listen to the song often. The Lyrics are: Last night I had a crazy dream A wish was granted just for me It could be for anything I didn’t ask for money Or a mansion in Malibu I simply wished, for one more day with you One more day One more time One more sunset, maybe I’d be satisfied But then again I know what it would do Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you First thing I’d do, is pray for time to crawl Then I’d unplug the telephone And keep the TV off I’d hold you every second Say a million I love yous That’s what I’d do, with one more day with you One more day One more time One more sunset, maybe I’d be satisfied But then again I know what it would do Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you I would give the world for “One More Day.” I cannot imagine how sad you must be without me. I am sure that you are suffering as much as I am. We may be separated, but we will always be “One”. No one can separate us forever and no one can take away our Love for each other. You Will Always Be Safe In My Heart. I know that your Grandma is there to watch over you. I know it makes her sad to see me in so much pain. Please tell her I am still trying. There are no words to describe how much I Love You and how much I Miss You. I still have not finished your scrapbook; I still cannot admit that you are never coming back. I will Forever treasure every moment we had together. Our day will come when we will be together again; unfortunately the waiting is so hard. I planted new flowers around your Memorial and I found a beautiful Angel to watch over you. It is such a peaceful place to sit and think of you. I wish I could tell you that the pain of your loss has lessened; I wish I could tell you that I can look at your picture and smile. Maybe some day it will happen. As Martha White said in response to how long will the pain last? “All The Rest Of Your Life; The Pain of Grief Is the Price We Pay For Love.” I would pay the price again without question. Well My Shining Star I will Miss You Forever. I Love You Christopher and I Always Will. You Are One Of A Kind. You are my Special Little Man. I am so fortunate to be you Mommy. HAPPY 15 MONTH BRIDGE DAY PRECIOUS ANGEL. MAY GOD’S ANGELS WATCH OVER YOU FOREVER. STAY SAFE AND WAIT FOR ME. I WILL BE THERE; I PROMISE. YOU ARE MY MAN AND I LOVE YOU. My Love; My Life; My Heart I Love You Christopher Mommy
Registered: 1213807858 Posts: 1,400
The tears are running down my face reading your letter to your precious beautiful Christoper. I am so sorry for the pain you have and I do understand. I saw my Meister in almost every word you wrote. I am glad you shared your deep feelings with us. Your love for Christopher is tremendous. I know the sadness is overwhelming and I wish I could ease your pain. You will be with your baby Christopher again to share your love and happiness with him. I will be thinking of you today. You and Christopher will be in my prayers. Mary Meisters Mom
Registered: 1178570509 Posts: 1,288
I understand all too well the ache and pain you are going through. No amount of time seems to take away this pain we have. One more day would not be enough time to give them all the love they deserve. I was looking at Chancey and Digby's puppy pictures and wondering where all the time went and how it went so quickly. How can we have had such a life with our little loves and have it gone so quickly, it went like a snap of the fingers. They were there for us for all the important things in our lives and now we must try to find a way to move on, as if that was possible. One more day and then one more day would never be enough for any of us, would it? As always, Helen
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
My goodness, I'm sitting at my desk and crying like a baby. Your letter to Christopher is nothing short of amazing. Your love for him is so powerful, it just gives me chills (good chills). It's beautiful. I wish I could ease your pain if even just a little. It would make my day. I'm just so sorry you're hurting. You're in my prayers. Please know you're not alone - we're all here for you any time. God Bless you and your precious Christopher.
Hugs to you. Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
Registered: 1196453169 Posts: 1,415
I think you've put into words the exact way that I'm feeling at 7 1/2 months. It's been said that time heals a broken heart, but I can't see that happening in our cases. Your little Christopher is so precious as my Teddy is to me, and the closeness we shared has been ripped apart until we see them at the Rainbow Bridge. Today would have been my Mother's 98th birthday. She's been gone 6 years now, and this morning I asked her to please take good care of my little furchildren (along with my Dad who's been gone many years). That's the only thing that really keeps me going, is knowing that I will join them some day and we'll all be together. I know that I have a lot of living to do yet (at least I hope so), but it will never be the same. Our lives seemed so entwined with them, and it's just so difficult to continue without those loving routines we shared. I hope that today finds you feeling some sense of peace until you make that final journey to join your loved one(s). DEAR CHRISTOPHER--HAPPY 15 MONTHS AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. Send some signs to your Mommy to let her know that you are happy and healthy while waiting patiently to see her again. All my thoughts & prayers are with you, Georgeann, today & every day- Teddy's Mom
Registered: 1199379551 Posts: 190
I can't ever read your letters to Christopher without tears streaming down my face. It is clear that you and Christopher had an amazing bond and still do... just remember that that bond will never be broken. I loved the lyrics to the Diamond Rio song - I've never heard it, but now I'll have to go find it. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Happy 15 month bridgeday Christopher! Send your Mommy starlight kisses and if you get a chance come visit her in her dreams - she loves and misses you so. If you see my little Angel give her hugs and kisses for me!
Registered: 1193533588 Posts: 991
I am so sorry that you continue to have such a very difficult time. Your bond with sweet Christopher was just so very strong; you relied on him and loved him so dearly, and he relied on you and loved you back with all his little heart. That relationship will never end.
As you said, you know all the suggestions that everyone makes to help you to adjust. I'm not going to say them again; you know them all. I only pray that sometime, somehow, you will find YOUR way to go on without him. Because that's what each of us really does: we each find our own coping mechanism for dealing with the sadness and the grief.
Molly says HAPPY 15TH BRIDGE DAY CHRISTOPHER. BE SURE TO VISIT YOUR MOMMY AND GIVE HER SWEET PUPPY KISSES. COME BY MY FINE BISCUT SHOPPE FOR UNLIMITED TREATS OF YOUR CHOICE. BE A GOOD BOY FOR MOMMY WHILE YOU WAIT FOR HER.
Registered: 1182281874 Posts: 540
Dearest Georgeann, I knew when I read your post it would bring the tears and it surely did. Your letter to your beloved little man was absolutely beautiful and the love you and him share is so obvious and one-of-a-kind. I totally understand how your world has changed since he left it and the pain and emptiness that you feel in your life. I feel the same exact way. I felt like a part of me died when Peanut did and I have not felt the same since. It is hard to live like that day in and day out but we do and some days are a little easier than others and hopefully eventually it will become a little easier. When you share something so special and so perfect with another, losing that is the worst thing in the world and it is not something that one easily gets over. I am sure that your sweet Christopher is fine up at the Bridge, yes he is missing you and loving you just as much as you are him. But he has all of our beloved furbabies up there taking care of him and making him feel loved until he is reuinted with you. Don't you worry about him on bit. Peanut, Molly, Betsey, Riley, Angel, Teddy, Meister, Nikki, Chancey, Digby, Chiquita, Golda, Luna, Gypsy and all the other precious furbabies we have lost along the way. I too love that song One more Day and what we wouldn't give for that, if only....Please take care my friend I know this is a hard day for you, all of the anniversaries are. I want to thank you so much for all the sweet things you said to me on my one year bridge day yesterday regarding Peanut. You and I suffer in very much the same way and I wish for peace and comfort for both of us.
Registered: 1197250967 Posts: 258
Your letter to sweet little Christopher says it all. It is just so incredibly hard to be without our angels. My heart goes out to you for the overwhelming pain that you are feeling. I wish that I could say something that would help, but I know that nothing can change what is. I hope that knowing that others understand helps in some small way. You know, I really do believe that in the very special place that our precious ones are, time is measured differently and many years are but a moment. I don't think that their hearts are suffering, because now they understand what we do not. Someday we will understand too. Happy 15 month Bridge Day dear Christopher! I know that Max is with you and the two of you are spreading your special love up there at the Bridge. Send your Mommy a sign to show that you are happy and at peace. Sending Warm Hugs and Healing Thoughts, Joanne~MaxsMom
Registered: 1213928094 Posts: 9
I read your post and totally understand what you are going through.
Last year in February I lost my mother This february I lost my mother in law and four days ago I lost my precious Ruby. I have no words of wisdom for you other than that I know God understands our pain. I am already considering going out and getting another Dog because although I cannot replace my Ruby Sue I know My heart can still love again. I am so sorry for your pain.
Registered: 1205159567 Posts: 1,015
Dear Georgeann – I can feel your heartache in your words . . . I find each time I read your posts about your beloved Christopher, I’m so heart broken for you. I know that he was your best friend, your soul mate, your heart, your soul, and we’ve asked ourselves, “How are we supposed to go on without a soul?” It is a question that I know holds no answer. Instead we “live” with our pain, our sorrow, our loneliness, with the hope that someday, the clouds of grief will separate and somehow we’ll see a glimmer of sunshine, of some joy. As you know, you are not alone in your suffering. We all understand your profound loss and we are all here for you. Dear Christopher, please know that your mommy misses you so very much, and her devotion and love has only grown since you left her. Meet her at your star to let her know you’re safe and happy. Wishing you wonderful things at the Rainbow Bridge. With warm affection Georgeann, Rusty’s Mom – Allison.
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dearest Mary,Helen,Gerlie,jwintx,Mollyboltsmom,Karen,Joanne,Lablover, and Allison:
I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face after reading all for your wonderful posts. I just came in from saying goodnight to my Shining Star. I miss him so much. I am so thankful that I have all of you who are willing to listen and understand my pain. I know that Christopher is glad that I found all of you too. I would not have made it this far if it had not been for all of your support and understanding. I know that all of you are heartbroken too. This pain is just so overwhelming that it is so hard to continue on day after day knowing that Christopher is never coming back. As you said Allison, we can only hope that "the clouds of grief will separate and somehow we will see a glimmer of sunshine, of some Joy." I think that is all any of us can hope will occur. Most days I feel as if I am existing in some strange body watching the world go by. The Joy is gone and I cannot seem to find a way to bring any of it back. I never thought that the years I should enjoy the most would turn into an on-going nightmare. I know all of you understand because you are going through the same thing as I am every day. We depend so much on these Precious Souls that when they are gone, we cannot find our way. I can honestly say that Christopher made every day of my life better. It did not matter how awful my day was, when I got home he was always here to make me smile and laugh. I can still see him dancing for me in the hallway as I entered the door. I will Never forget one thing about him. I do hope that what you said Joanne is true, that time is measured differently and many years are but a moment. I could not stand the thought of Christopher suffering as I am. I will always pray for that one more day, but you are right Helen, it would never be enough for any of us. For now we will all have to settle for that one more day in our dreams. And you are right HelenY, our lives will Never be the same. That huge hole we have in our Hearts will remain Forever. I have followed all of your posts and I know that your pain is overwhelming too. I wish that there was something that would help, but I know that nothing works. As you said Mollyboltsmom, we all have to find our own coping mechanism. And yes Lablover, I do believe that God understands our pain; I just wish I knew what made him think that he needed Christopher more that I did. For fifteen months I have cried every day and the pain is just as strong today as the day Christopher left. Unfortunately I do not see any end in sight. What is most important to me is that I know that our babies are together and I know that they will be waiting when we arrive. Thank you all again for your support and understanding. All of you are in My Prayers. MY Angel In The Sky My Love My Life My My Best Friend I Will Miss You Forever You Are MY Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1212446657 Posts: 21
Dear Georgeann -- I too have tears for the beautiful words you wrote about Christopher. Such a beautiful treasure he was. My beloved Webster has been gone almost five weeks and it seems like it just happened this morning. I feel everything about him as you wrote about your feelings for Christopher. It is just so unbearable to know they are gone. Thank you for expressing my feelings in your words.
Registered: 1157852068 Posts: 1,001
I know how much you are hurting and what you said that you knew Christopher wouldn’t live forever, you never thought he would die is exactly how I felt about Max. I knew he was getting older and I knew I would have to let him go one day but I never thought deep down that he would be gone from me and that he would always be here. I could never accept that reality and once he was gone, I walked alone through all the places that we walked together and I cried . With each tear, I began to heal in time. I didn’t have the understanding of family & friends until I wandered on to Petloss and met all the kind loving people here who knew the pain of loss & cared so much. I couldn’t finish Max’s scrapbook for two years. I couldn’t bear that there were no more photos to put in once it was complete but then I started adding photos of friends I met here with their sweet dogs and I realized the love continues on through Max. It is a long journey and a difficult one but we get through it but never over it. Christopher is helping you through your days and will be there for you one day because our fur children are part of our eternity & are part of our soul.. Peace to you my friend, Love, Jo http://wolfpack10.com/max2.html the webpage made from the kind hearts here ~Heart Friends~ to help ease the pain http://landofpuregold.com/max.htm saying goodbye tribute page in Golden life tribute for Max~ A Butterfly Light~ A Butterfly Lights beside us like a sunbeam And for a brief moment Its glory and beauty belong to our world but then it flies on again and though we wish it could have stayed We feel so lucky to have seen it. One of Max's last pictures with daddy on Cape Cod. I didnt even see how much older he seemed and I didnt realize he was so ill. He remains my True Companion
Registered: 1211823351 Posts: 1,569
As I like so many who read your post could not do it with a dry eye. I and all of us feel your pain. I know you have heard this before, we all have to deal with our loss differently. It does not mean that those who heal quicker did not love or miss our soul mates any less. I have been exactly where you are today and wish as so many others do could make your pain go away but we can't. The last part of my prayer over Peaches each night is to all those where ever they me be find peace within because I, and all of us here know how heart breaking this can be. I believe who ever said "Time heals all" had never experienced what we here have. I will say an extra special one just for you tonight and ask Peach to let your Christopher know how so lucky he was to have had you in his life as you were to have had him in yours. I do so hope that your pain and sorrow start to subside each day as the same Each Day you wish you could be with Christopher.-----Jerry in Oklahoma. Christopher; You know how much your mommy is missing you, make your star a little brighter for her to let her know you are ok. And one day you and her will have an eternity, not just "One More Day"
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dear Sandycat,Jo and Jerry:
Thank you so much for your beautiful words and for caring. I know that all of you are going through the same nightmare while trying to help others. As you said Sandycat it is so unbearable to know that they are gone. Each day that you wake up you hope that it was just a nightmare and that everything will be OK;then reality hits again. Your idea about the scrapbook Jo is wonderful. I hope some day I can get that far. I know how awful losing Max has been for you. I can only hope that like you I will begin to heal. Thank you for your ongoing support through this overwhelming pain. I know that you too have traveled this same dark and painful road for a very long time. Thank you for the websites; they are wonderful. You are so right Jerry, that who ever said time heals all has never been through this grief. We may learn to live with their loss, but I do not think we will ever heal. I know that your loss is so new and I know how much you miss Peach as I have read all your posts. Thank you for saying a Prayer for me as it means so much that everyone cares. Like Jo, no one in my family understands this grief so my Petloss Family is my lifeline. Again, thank you all for your help and understanding. It means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to Christopher too. Sending Lots of Prayers You Way Georgeann and Christopher Forever Stay Safe Precious Angel You Are MY Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
Dearest Georgeann and Christopher,Last night as I was taking Ralphie out to potty, I noticed two bright shining stars near a very beautiful moon. This was strange, as the night was slightly overcast here. I immediately thought of Betsy and Christopher. The night before Betsy passed, I carried her out to potty and held her afterward in my arms, like one holds a baby, and showed her the moon and stars. I asked her to always send me a star. The night she passed, I awoke suddenly and sat straight up in bed, awakened by the sheer brightness of a single star shining in through my bedroom window. This has not happened since, so I have always believed it was a sign from her. I thought you would want to know she and Christopher were shining brightly through the overcast night sky last night. Of course, I am weeping as I type this, but these are happy tears right now.
I address the two of you together as that is how I think of you.....with him. His radiant spirit beside you every day, even though he is not physically with you. It is a temporary separation, my dear friend, but, I know the gulf that separates us from these magnificent creatures seems interminable. Your post brought so many tears. That Diamond Rio song is one of my favorites and always reminds me of Betsy. I have the CD in my car and listen to it often. My God, it sums up how exactly how we feel, doesn't it? I know your heart is forever broken, as is mine. My husband was talking about "Betts" this morning, when I suddenly burst into tears. I remembered how she would always come in when I was taking my shower and patiently wait on her little chair. Memories like that are double-edged swords, aren't they? I know you know what I am talking about, as does everyone else who posts here. You have been so supportive Georgeann to me and so many countless others, which tells us all just how special Christopher's mommy is. And, oh, doesn't he know it?!! When I think of Christopher I ALWAYS think of him beaming at you with deep love and devotion in his eyes. I think that is why you still suffer so over his loss. He is your heart and soul. HAPPY 15TH MONTH BRIDGEDAY, BELOVED LITTLE CHRISTOPHER!! PLEASE VISIT YOUR MOM IN HER DREAMS AND LET HER KNOW YOU ARE WITH HER EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HER LIFE. LET HER FEEL THE WARMTH OF YOUR RADIANT SPIRIT AND FEEL THE JOY OF YOUR LOVING HEART THAT IS STILL AND WILL ETERNALLY BE FILLED WITH LOVE FOR HER. SHE LOVES AND MISSES YOU SO, LITTLE ONE. Georgeann, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you miss your Little Man. Sending healing hugs and prayers, Melissa Betsy's forever loving mom
Registered: 1211860763 Posts: 139
I can only say that I feel your pain. There isn't much to add to what has already been said but I am so sorry that you must endure this horrible pain. Your words are beautiful in that your love shows through them all and I know that your Christopher knew this the whole time. Our Heartdogs will always be with us in one way or another until we must also walk the same road but this time, they will be there waiting for us. I will say an extra prayer for you and Christopher tonight in hopes you will be able to find some comfort if only for a few minutes and that Christopher sends you a sign that you will know that he is still with you. Margaret
Registered: 1205715660 Posts: 763
Dear Georgeann, I wish with all my heart that I could think of something to say that would ease your pain but we both know there are no magic words. I wish I could promise you that time will ease the pain but we both know that is not necessarily true. The bond between you and your beloved Christopher is so strong and it always will be. Just think of how wonderful that is. Think of how wonderful it is that you had that darling boy to love you.
He still does Georgeann. Christopher is still with you everyday. He is just with you in a different way. His little body had to leave, but his spirit is still with you. That is why your bond is so very strong. We never stop loving our darlings, we never forget them. And that is a good thing. It is a hard thing, but a good thing. Happy 15 month Bridge Day beautiful Christopher! Let Mommy know you are with her and watching over her. She needs to hear from you darling. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and beautiful post. When I saw that you addressed Christopher and I together it made me cry as that is exactly how I view our relationship;we were "One" and always will be. I too Love the Diamond Rio song and I do believe that it sums up everything we are feeling. I know how awful it has been for you since your loss of Betsy; and now you have Precious Ralphie to worry about. I want you to know that I ask Christopher to pray for Ralphie every night. It made me smile when you said that Betsy would wait for you while you took your shower; Christopher did the exact same thing. He would sit by the door and patiently wait for me. As I would exit the shower his tail would start to wag. You are so right, it is a double edged sword. The Memories are so beautiful but painful as well. Two nights ago when I went outside to say goodnight to Christopher I too saw two brightly shining Stars right next to the moon. They looked as if they were so close to the earth that you could touch them. I am sure it was Betsy and Christopher; he loves Pretty Little Girls:0) I have actually woken up a number of nights and have seen a bright Star shining in my window. I know it is Christopher as I know that he is always with me. Oh how I wish I had that "One More Day." I know they are waiting for us and I know that someday we will get to hold them in our arms again; the wait unfortunately is just so painful. You, Ralphie and Betsy are in my Prayers, Always. Please give Ralphie a Big Hug for Christopher and I. Thank your so much for all your support and for caring. It means the World to me and to Christopher. Sending Big Hugs Your Way Georgeann and Christopher Forever Christopher's Little Friend Sophie She was so happy here and now the sadness in her eyes Breaks My Heart. I know she misses him too. Stay Safe Christopher We miss you so You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and for your Prayers. I do believe that our babies are patiently waiting for us. I know that they are all together and I know that my mom will take very good care of all of them. This has been such a long and dark road for all of us. The pain is so overwhelming and there is nothing we can do to make it better. We are all so fortunate to have each other. I will continue to count each day until Christopher is in my arms once again. Sending Hugs and Prayers Your Way Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1211823351 Posts: 1,569
I said an extra prayer for you over Peach last night hoping that you would find some peace. As I said before I know what you are going through and the pain and misery we have. Please, I'm not trying to tell you how to run your life nor am I an expert on the grief and pain situation. As I said we all have to come to terms with or own situation. In my case with Peaches, feeling exactly the same way you and so many here have and are still feeling, I stood over her resting spot as I do many times one evening just before the one month anniversary of her journey. I told her that I had to let all the pain and misery go out of my heart. That I would still love her and miss her very much. I also told her I knew if she was here she would not want me to be in such pain and misery and that looking down upon me she feels the same way, she would want only joy and happiness in my heart and soul, the type she gave me while she was here. It was almost as if she said it was ok to let it go because then I would have much more room inside of me for her and all the good times we had. I can honestly say after that evening each day has gotten easier, sure there are and always will be those as others call them "Speed Bumps" and I will and have dealt with them. I know they all miss us, but in my heart and soul do not think they are sad, on the contrary they above everyone else are happy because they have made the journey we all will make some day. They know that there will be that one special day we will be with our soul mates for eternity. You and many like you have helped me and countless others who have been here in dealing with our situations. Each time I read someones message, yes it brings back the tears, and at times I feel like not responding but I do because as you and so many others do, even during our bad days do it, because we know it may only help just one person to get through what we have and still are experiencing. I, as you, have had others thank me and even it is just one of many it was and is worth it and I'm sure Peaches and your Christopher are proud of us as all the other soul mates are of their families who are a family here on this site. I hope you can start to release some of your pain and misery as I was able to do, not only for you but for your dear Christopher, they all want us to be happy. They know that we will never forget them for they are always with us, and you are so lucky to have that Shining Star over you. God Bless You.----Jerry in Oklahoma.
Registered: 1189348399 Posts: 124
Dear Georgeann, I wish I could take away your pain right now. I believe in angels and I believe they are with you now. The pain you are feeling for Christopher is exactly how I felt when I lost my dog. I read an amazing book on pet loss that helped me tremendously. When you understand your grief and why pet loss hurts so bad, it helps. The book is, "The Loss of a Pet" 3rd ed. by Wallace Sife. This book has won several awards in the field of pet loss. I have read it many times and it really was my salvation at one of the lowest periods of my life. I think it could help you with the grief you are feeling. Love yourself for you are doing the best you can. Take care, Sadie
Registered: 1185992427 Posts: 613
Dear Georgeann, and tiny sweet Christopher.....15 months of separation, 15 months of grief and indescribable sadness. My heart breaks for both of you. I hope that little Christopher is finding solace in the many fur baby friends around him, just like you find empathy from your pet loss family. We care deeply about both of you, and cry for the bond that was temporarily broken between you. Yes, one day you will be together again, but I deeply pray that the days of waiting are not filled with pain and longing, but instead with peace and hope. Happy 15 month bridge day darling little boy, please come to your mommy in her dreams, and surround her with love and joy as only you can do. Also, would you please find my Nike and tell her that as her 11 month bridge day approaches, I miss her just as much as I did on that fateful day last July. Be good little doggies, and know that your families think of you every moment while they are awake, and in our dreams as well. Hugs from Houston, Jan
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dear Donna, JerryC, and Sadie:
Thank you so much for your posts. I know that all of us are is so much pain. You are so right Donna, we never stop loving our precious Angels and we never forget them. I am surrounded with Christopher's pictures and memories all day long. I Never want to forget one thing about him. When things get really bad I snuggle up to his precious blanket and I feel so at peace. I am so glad Jerry that you have found something to give you some peace. I thank you so much for your extra prayer. I know it is so hard to see people suffer on this site. You are right in that there are days it is so hard to answer but we do it because we know the pain. I wish I could explain why my pain is so overwhelming. I drive over 100 miles to see a wonderful counselor. Her answer is that some bonds are so strong that some people never heal. I have had many fur babies over the years and have loved them all. However, I was never as attached as I was to Christopher. Our relationship is just very hard to explain other than to see it was as if we were one. When he died in my arms I could feel my soul leave with him. He was also sick for a very long time so my entire life evolved around him for over a year. I took him to work every day and when I was in court my secretary watched him until I returned. I was terrified to let him out of my sight. He would sit on my desk all day long and watch me work. Fortunately my family was very understanding and was with him every moment I was not. On the days I could not take him with me I had a sitter for him; on those days I called her constantly. Hopefully I too will find some peace someday. I have actually read the book The Loss of A Pet and it is excellent. I have purchased about 20 books on petloss since I lost Christopher. I think the one I found very comforting was Kim Sheridan's book, Animals and The Afterlife. As I have said so many times, I am so appreciative to all of you for your help and constant support. I know that all of you care and are trying so hard to help. I too am trying to heal; it looks like it is just going to take me a very long time. I think it is as Mollyboltsmom said, we all have to find our own coping mechanism. Obviously I am still looking. I do believe that God works in strange ways and I believe there is a reason why this is happening to me. I am just thankful that I have all of you to help me through. Big Hugs and Prayers to all of you Georgeann and Christopher Forever You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Thank you so much for your beautiful post. You have been such a dear friend from the very beginning of this horrible nightmare. I know that your life has been such a nightmare too. I know that the loss of your Precious Nike has changed your life Forever and I know that you miss Nike as much as I miss Christopher. This overwhelming pain just never leaves. I know that Christopher and Nike are good friends and I am sure that Nike is watching over him for me. Take care my friend. Hopefully the day will come when we can look at our babies pictures and smile. Love and Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever Sweet Dreams Precious Angel You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1189564584 Posts: 493
Once again, your letter to Christopher brought tears to my eyes. I know exactly how much you're hurting and how that pain in your heart doesn't seem to ease, I feel the same way. I find myself "going on" but its by blocking that horrible day out of my mind but it comes back and when it does, the sharp pain in my chest is more intense. I also know what you mean, knowing Christopher was not going to live forever, but the though of him dying it was impossible to even think. It never crossed my mind the possibility of having to live without Chiquita, I was probably naive, but that was something that never crossed my mind, never. Our love for our furbabies is forever, and I know they know that...I don't think our pain will never completely heal but their love will forever live in our hearts. Always keeping you and Christopher in my thoughts and prayers... Annette Chiquita's Mom
Registered: 1157296856 Posts: 438
Your writing to Christopher leaves me in tears. I know the horrible pain you feel and the emptiness that goes hand in hand with the pain. I don't know why they are taken from us, but I know that we are blessed to have had them in our lives and to loved them. The most amazing thing is the love we are given in return. I don't know if they can imagine the sheer joy they bring us and the deep grief we have when they are gone. Love, to our babies, is unconditional, sweet, pure and the best thing ever on earth. I talk to Gimli at night when the stars are out. I think of them as the twinkle he had in his eyes.
Registered: 1177131273 Posts: 558
I'm in tears reading your beautiful post to your beloved Christopher. I could have written much of your thoughts as I find myself feeling many of the same things. It's just so hard to be without them for so long and harder still to know that we will never experience the same love again. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Golda's mom
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dear Annette,Golda's Mom and Scruffy and Gimli's Mom:
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my Tribute To Christopher. I am glad that all of you liked the post. I know that it brings tears and sadness to all of you as I know that you are aware of the impact Christopher's loss has had on my life. Everything I write to Christopher is from my Heart. I know that all of you are in the same place as I am and that is a place of pain and sadness. I know that the bonds you had with your babies are the same as my bond with Christopher. I do believe that is why we are unable to recover from our losses. These Precious Angels were the Joy in our lives and when they left they took that Joy with them. The bottom line is that they are gone and that they are never coming back. I agree that we were so fortunate that God chose us to be their mommies. It is just so hard to think of a life without them. Christopher's s has had such a profound impact on me; it has literally swallowed up my life. I know that we must learn to live our lives differently. That is easy to say and hard to do. How is it possible to be so strong and so happy one day and then be lost without direction the next? I know that we have all tried in our own ways to heal yet none of us has been successful. I just wish I knew why God has chosen us to experience this overwhelming loss in our lives. Hopefully some day we will find the answer. You have all been here for me since the beginning of this nightmare. I am so appreciative of your understanding and support and I know that Christopher is too. I know that we all have to find a way to move forward, but I have not found a way to do that yet. I do not know if I ever will. We can only hope that there is light at the end of this very dark and painful road and we must all keep looking. We were so lucky to have them in our lives. We will miss them Forever. They will always be safe in our Hearts. Sending Prayers and Hugs Your Way Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1214241224 Posts: 16
Reading your letter to Christopher made tears stream down my cheeks. I am also a fellow Shih Tzu owner and I totally understand the attachment you had with Christopher. I'm so sorry to hear that after 15 months, you are still grieving over the loss of him. I know nothing can bring him back. I wish there's a miracle where our fur babies will never have to leave us due to old age or illness. He's up in heaven looking down at you, miss you too. Know that you are not alone. I will be taking my precious baby to put him down tomorrow. It's the hardest thing I have to do, but I'm prepared to take the pain so my baby won't be suffering anymore. My heart truly goes out to you and I truly hope that you will be able to endure one day without feeling the sadness you're feeling right now. Dusty's Mom
Registered: 1200561771 Posts: 251
I too am crying my eyes out reading your beautiful tribute to your Christopher. He is such a handsome boy, I can see why you loved him so much. 15 months, and time doesn't heal does it? I really know how you feel, my Nugget has been gone nearly 6 months and I am missing him more everyday. I too can't fathom that I won't see him again on this Earth...life isn't fair is it? I too know that memories can be haunting and make us grieve our babies even more. Your Christopher was so lucky to have you as a mummy and you too were so lucky to have him as your son. He was your baby and the love of your life. He misses you just as much as you miss him, I promise you. It is beautiful to hear so much love in your words. Many people do not understand the love we have for our furbabies....but here we all understand. Your words could have been my own. Christopher come and visit your mumma in her dreams and snuggle with her. Lots of love Nuggetsmum Alana
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dear Dusty's Mom and Nuggets Mom:
Thank you for your heartfelt responses to my post. I too cry when I write Christopher's letters as well as when I read them. It just breaks my Heart that he is gone and I have to write to him on this board. I am always glad to hear that my Love for Christopher and his for me comes through in what I write. Dusty's mom I am so sorry you have to let Dusty go. I too had no choice but to let Christopher go and it was the worst day of my life. It makes me sick just knowing what you are going to have to go through today and Forever. Like you, I could not let Christopher suffer as suddenly him staying alive was about me not about him and he did not deserve that. Nuggets mom I am so sorry about your loss of Nugget. I have read a number of your posts and know how much you are suffering. It is so hard to explain to others that every day the grief gets worse not better. Because they were such a huge part of our life, it is so hard to continue on without them. Like you I cannot imagine living the rest of my life on this earth and never seeing Christopher again. The pain in my chest and the nausea I feel is overwhelming just thinking about Christopher being gone Forever. All of You are in my Prayers. I will be saying a Special Prayer tonight for Dusty as I know how much he is going to miss his mommy. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever Dearest Christopher: Please Take Really Good Care of Dusty for His Mommy. Please Keep Him Safe Until His Mommy Can Get There You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1181262117 Posts: 162
Remember me? I was thinking of you and had to find you on here. I know the pain all too much that we are still feeling all of this time later. It is hell on earth to have to even think of what has happened. I lost 30 pounds this past year. Everyone keeps asking how i did it. Well it started with Moses' death. I lost 10 pounds in a week. I wanted to answer them with "depression helped me lose weight". I am like you. I had to go on drugs to help me sleep and function. I have 2 kids that help keep me busy, but in down times, I still think of him. For some reason today has immobilized me to the point that I cry every minute. Not sure why, but it does. The tree you made at Christmas was beautiful. That was so nice of you. I will still pray for you and that cute little fluffball of yours, Christopher. And please think of Moses still. I have not been on here in a while since I was so depressed I felt like all I was doing was adding to it. Now that I look back, eveyone on here was here to help. Thank you for holding my hand as you did. See? Our babies brought us toghether. Melissa
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Your post made me cry as I was so glad to see you back. I know that your bond with Moses was the same as mine with Christopher. I could feel your pain in the words that you wrote. I still miss Christopher as much today as the day he left. I know you feel the same. I will never forget you and Moses and I think about you often. These Precious souls brought so much Joy into our lives and when they left us the Joy left with them. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you raising two children and grieving for Moses. Like you with Moses, I will miss Christopher Forever. I have many days when the tears just begin to fall and will not stop. I know you understand that overwhelming pain of loss. It hits like a tsunami-hard and without warning. I know that we will never heal from our loss. We will move forward because we have no choice, but the pain will always remain. They were our babies and always will be. We will miss our Precious Angels for Eternity. Moses' ornament will be on the tree again this year and every year that I am on this earth. The pain just never goes away. Stay in tough and thank you for finding me and replying to my post. Sending Big Hugs and Prayers to You and Moses Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1190291298 Posts: 228
Your post to Christopher said the words that are in my heart. I know it wouldn't be enough, but what I would give for just one more day! Just one more day.
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Thank you for responding to my post. I know that your heart is broken too. I must agree, although one more day would not be enough I would give the world to have that one more day. We will miss them Forever. Sending Hugs and Prayers You Way Georgeann and Christopher Forever