Registered: 1542331018 Posts: 5
I am having such a hard time. I'm reeling with guilt, sadness and heartbreak...
A couple of weeks ago I was having the best day training my dog to go with me everywhere going in and out of the gate. I let both my dogs out in the backyard one last potty break. I went to let them back in. Earlier that day something had gotten stuck in the gate and prevented it from closing. My other dog runs away if he gets the chance and Cletus went with. I searched for hours, cried and prayed. I decided to try one more time to find him only to find him already dead by the side of a dark road with my other dog frantically running around in traffic because he was so distraught. I couldn't help or save my dog. He was already gone it was final. I got my surviving dog into the car. I begged people to stop and help me only for them to drive around me and leave me in my grief to try to get my baby into the car. I pretty much blacked out from being hysterical and drove home. My best friend was gone and it was my fault. I didn't lock the gate. I always lock the gate...my grief and guilt are so intense and I can't forgive forgive myself. He was only 3. I should have had many more years..gone in moments. He was my best friend and got me through a really hard time of a very serious illness. I have never had a dog like him and I have had many. He was so special and I can't begin to understand life without him. Its been weeks and the pain is not lessening..I'm so sorry ReeRee. I would do anything to lock the gate...I'm sorry I couldn't find you in time. I'm sorry I could not save you ...luv Mom...
Registered: 1542246681 Posts: 4
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you. My prayers for some relief for you.
Registered: 1542120596 Posts: 14
Ree Ree knows how much you loved him. I lost Peanut a few days ago suddenly. He was only 7. I rescued him at 9 months. He was my world; more than my husband. The pain and grief is unbelievable. I feel like there should have been something I could have done; got him to the ER sooner? But if I did he may not have passed in my arms. I am hoping one day I can take comfort in that but rightness I can't. They tell me it will get easier and I am trusting everyone on these boards. I hope our fur babies are playing together in heaven. I am praying for you ReeReesMom.
Registered: 1539391042 Posts: 43
I know it is really hard not to blame yourself. I know because everyone who loves their dog blames themselves for something, no matter how their dog died. Should they have taken their dog to one more specialist? Why didn't they see that their dog was sick earlier? And for some, why didn't they double check the door, fence, or gate? Please understand that this is not your fault. You loved him so much and would have done anything for him, and I am sure he knew that. He was very lucky dog to have had a human who thought he was the Best Dog in the Universe. We are not perfect and we don't know or control everything. We can only do the best we can, and I am sure you did this. We love our dogs even though they are not perfect, and they love us back just the same way. It is especially hard because we have all the responsibility for care for our dogs, who we adore, but we do not have complete control over what happens.
I am so sorry this happened to you and your baby. Losing an animal you love is devastating, which is something that everyone on this board understands. I am about seven weeks out from having put by dog down. I still cry at least once most days. However, I am eating, sleeping, and exercising, which I could not do for the first four weeks or so. In other words, it takes time. The pain will still be there, but you will get better control over when you choose to experience it instead of being completely overtaken and consumed by it.
Registered: 1542331018 Posts: 5
My poor other dog is so lost. He keeps sitting by their dogfood bowls and just stares at it, waiting for his brother. It made me start bawling. They always ate at the same time together.
We also got a new puppy because its what my husband wanted and I couldn't say no since it was my fault. I'm not bonding well with the new puppy. I just want to go to bed and stay there cause I don't really care about anything right now and I can't cause I constantly have to care for and train the puppy..i keep praying every day this can't be real but it is and everything' makes me cry..