Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
katndogs

Registered:
Posts: 64
 #1 
Hello From Karma's Mom
I hope this post is not inappropriate.

I received a call from the Vet I took Karma's remains to ( it was a Sunday, she passed here at home, unaided . . my Vet was closed) that her ashes were there for pick up. I picked them up and brought them home . . it was a flood of emotion as you can imagine. I opened the cardboard box that should have contained a WOODEN Box I had ordered for the ashes.
I found a ceramic urn
and a pre-printed message ,expressing sympathy, with my dogs name handwritten in the blank. When I phoned the Vet clinic I was told to bring in the urn and they would replace it with a wooden box.
Sounds simple enough.
I asked what cremation facility they had used and they became . . well, defensive. Finally they gave me the name. It was not the facility I had used for the remains of The Mighty Muqua in '04, a facility that I had personally driven to and hand delivered Muqua to the owner who was crying right along with me. (He even gave me a tour of the entire area . . nothing at all to hide)
I managed to get the phone number for THIS facility and called and left a message asking simply for Information on their Services.
Never heard back.
LONG STORY . .
after 3 days and possibly a hundred calls to The Health Dept for the region, Better Business, the local SPCA, The Ontario Veterinary College and even the MAYOR of the area I have discovered this;
NO ONE has heard of this facility !
In Ontario, Canada there are NO regulations or even LICENSING for Pet Cremation Facilities
It is a BILLION dollar industry in North America
every region / State / Municipality may well have their own "rules" (if ANY) covering the disposal of PET/ Companion Animal remains.
It is entirely possible that one can receive the ashes from a mass cremation and be charged big bucks for them
I finally connected with the woman of this recent facility yesterday . . she was abrupt, and defensive. When I asked how can I be sure these are MY dogs remains . . she said, "well, you'll just have to take my word for it".
And sadly, she's right. There is absolutely nothing I can do . Nothing!
I would like to advise everyone to do research BEFORE you need to. When the time comes, you may well be an emotional wreck . . try to make a decision as to weather or not you want your pet's ashes. Ask your Vet WHICH facility they use . .GOOGLE the name or at least GOOGLE Pet Cremation for your area. You should be able to call them and talk openly, You SHOULD be allowed to view the process if you so desire (some people do!)
And it shouldn't cost a small fortune for the process.
Muqua cost $185. for a top-of-the-line urn AND a brass plack with her name and the dates.
This latest fiasco cost $375.00 for basics and I'm not even sure it's Karma.
I have learned more than I ever wanted to about all this. I have to believe there's a reason . . if nothing else I can advise others to BEWARE . . and educate yourselves BEFORE you need to. I know no one wants to think about this but here we are!
Blessings to ALL!

Wiser Now,
Katherine
Karma's Mom
aurichwolf

Registered:
Posts: 555
 #2 
The sad truth is that unless we are in a place where we are able to go to the cremation facility and even if we have to pay more to observe the cremation of our loved one after identifying them just before separate cremation then there is no guarantee that we can trust.
We can't change where we live or what facilities are available to us and sadly at the time of a loss no matter what the reason we are so devastated that we often are taken advantage of so easily.
Sometimes there is just no way to change circumstances or situations that exist or may arise.
 
We have to hold on to what we had in our life with those we love and treasure every moment of that and all of those wonderful memories.
All we can do is to remember that they know we love them and that we did our best for them,
That they are happy and healthy now at Rainbow Bridge and that we will see them just that way one day when it's our time to join them.
May we all find peace in that.
 
Love and peace,
AurichWolf
Kathy

bdpringle

Registered:
Posts: 190
 #3 
So, so sorry for your troubles with Karma's cremation.  I never even thought to check on when Jade was cremated last year.  Our vet sent her body for us.  However, on that day we had to sign a form stating that was her body and it went with her along with an actual toe tag for indentification purposes.  That toe tag came back attached to the ashes along with death certificate. 

Again, I'm so sorry with your experiences.  May Karma and Muqua rest in peace together.

Hugs,
Daun
katndogs

Registered:
Posts: 64
 #4 
Thank you Duan,
I'm pursuing the matter . . . within reason . . I want the facility investigated. If it's above board . . I'll forget the whole thing. But my blood boils when I think of the grief-stricken people who may be taken advantage of. And I've learned WAY more about the subject than I EVER wanted to know !
There must be a reason . .
I have to believe that . .
"buyer Beware"
educate yourself BEFORE you NEED to.
Blessings to all.
Katherine
Karma's Mom
maryjos

Registered:
Posts: 26
 #5 

You are very right that people really need to plan ahead! Hope this discussion isn't too uncomfortable for some people (if so, please skip over it!) My dog died very suddenly and I had never really thought about where I would want him cremated and just had the vet arrange it, being too distraught at the time to even think clearly. A day later I was really wanting to have some clippings from his fur and to take a pawprint impression to remember him by, but when I called the vet they said that he had been picked up and they would not give me the number of the crematorium. By the time I got through all the red tape to get them to at least call and delay the cremation it was too late. I also found that there was a private crematorium in our area, very near me in fact, that will pick up your pet at any time and allow you to come and be present for the cremation (or even have it videotaped if you really want absolute surety). They don't wrap the body in plastic and put them in bulk freezers as the vet does, but use a special padded "shroud" and just treat it with a lot more gentleness and caring, with the type of respect I think that all beloved pets should get. So I really wish I had known about it, and had brought my boy home with me and taken care of everything myself. I am fairly confident that the cremation done on my Taz was a true private one and the ashes are his, but I definitely in the future will use this other crematorium when I have need (not anytime soon I hope!)



Taz, Dearly loved by Mary Jo, 4/28/95-5/25/08
Tribute Page
katndogs

Registered:
Posts: 64
 #6 
Dear Maryjos,
So sorry for the loss of you beautiful TAZ!
They really don't ever last long enough do they?
The chances are that most facilities will do a Single cremation. But you should be allowed to call and ask ANY questions you need to and your Vet clinic staff should be HAPPY to give you the number of the facility they use.
With my Muqua, I drove 2 hours to the facility . . I just couldn't let my best friend of 11 years go into a mass freezer. Call me crazy . . but that's just me. I have worked in Vet clinics and know what happens . nothing wrong with that . . that was just me at that time.
When I got her diagnosis I came home and went on line and found OPCS here in Ontario. They have a lovely website. When I called them they were EXTREMELY helpful and informative and said, ABSOLUTELY, I could bring her to them myself!
I had her ashes in 3 days.
I just want to let people know they do have options. GOOGLE will find any facility in ANY area . . make arrangements, decisions . BEFORE you NEED to.

God Bless the creatures and the People who love them !
Katherine
Karma's Mom
bdpringle

Registered:
Posts: 190
 #7 
Katherine,
I get very nerveous for my friends here when it takes a long time to get the ashes back.  It has always made me wonder what is going on.  I want everyone's pet to come home safely, because we always feel a sense of relief once they are back with us.

Daun
maryjos

Registered:
Posts: 26
 #8 
Katherine, well, I don't really hold any ill will to the emergency clinic that took care of him...I think my requests to get in touch just took them by surprise and the receptionist didn't know how to deal with it or if it would be allowed. It kind of surprised me but I guess a lot of people don't really worry about such things. But it was very frustrating for me, and will pain me forever that I was not able to save these little pieces of him and didn't plan for losing him so suddenly or how I would take care of him when he was gone. It's just not anything you ever expect, and too many of us put such things off until we have no other choice. We always expect we'll have at least a day, a month, or more to plan for their loss once we know they are getting close, but it just doesn't always happen that way. I just always expected to have time to spend with him before any final decision would have to be made, and as I explained to them, they should realize that particularly at an emergency clinic people are going to lose beloved pets very suddenly and perhaps have second thoughts over any decisions they make when they are so distraught, and they should be ready to deal with that and help people out, and not add to their guilt and grief. I hadn't even called anyone the whole time I was there...I thought of calling my mom just for support, but I kept hesitating and thinking I don't want to upset her if he's going to be okay. I definitely was in total denial that anything was really that seriously wrong. 3 weeks later and I still keep feeling shock every time it hits me that he really isn't here and never will be again.



Taz, Dearly loved by Mary Jo, 4/28/95-5/25/08
Tribute Page



WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #9 
Katherine, I am SO SORRY you have had to suffer through this.  My heart goes out to you.  Unfortunately, I have heard other stories like yours and it greatly upsets me.

Our experience when we lost our beloved Betsy was so different.  We are very blessed to know the people who run a private pet crematorium in our area.  They have furbabies and are so kind and gentle.  They have a stellar reputation.  They have a precious little chapel and will actually conduct funeral services if you desire.  They explain EVERYTHING up front and allow you to be present for the cremation if you wish.  We were not, as I cannot even imagine that.  They personally assisted us, just like a human funeral home assists people.  We planned everything in advance, because I knew if I waited until afterward, I would be a basket case.  They "name tag" each furbaby and then respectfully shroud them prior to the cremation, so there is no confusion.  They made a  paw print from one of her little paws and framed it for us with a brass name plate on the frame.  Her cremains are in a beautiful mahogany box with a brass name plate. They sent us a sachet of flower seeds so we could plant them in her memory, and a scented sachet that smells of lavender to be placed with her fur clippings. These people are total professionals with hearts the size of Texas.  They treated my little girl with such dignity and care.  I just wish everyone on this board could have this type of experience.

Good luck as you pursue this.  You are in my prayers.

Hugs from the Texas Hill Country,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom
Loudpurring

Registered:
Posts: 774
 #10 
I have allways had bad experiences with the lack of sensitivity of er hospitals. I have worked them for several years, but I don't like the whole mash unit type thing. Not all are like that, some are very good I just like to be able to interact more with my patients and their parents. I also am a perfectionsist and you don't have time to be perfect at an er facility.
 
So, try to keep in mind that any time you call them for something other than a life threatening emergency, they may not know haow to handle it. Or they may not want to handle it. or have the time to.
 
One of my worst er experiences was when I was working at a hospital and it was over new years and there was this poor sick kitty I was going to his house once a day to give fluids. i cant go to into detail because I am still broken up about the poor little wonderful guy and his parents. He had FELV and was in end stage I don't want to say to much or I will break down.
 
Botom line: I go with the parents and the kitty and have him euth at the er. They let me in back because I also have worked there before and also worked at an adjoining specialty practice. So both parents are there and their baby has passed and is on this beautiful royal blue velvet bed. I took care of the body as much as I was alowed to because I didn't currently work there.
When I plaved him on the back table on his bed I told everyone there that I would call them on the monday that followed since it was on new years day that this had happened. I left a note taped to the bed and the body of my friend. I asked them all over and over please to make sure the cat stayed on the bed. He loved his bed so much. I also stated so on the note. I paid an extra charge for the er to hold his body for 2 days. I explained that the clients were to be treated with kid gloves due to the delicate nature of the situation and they were so attached.

 
i was going to pick up their baby from er on my lunch hour and figure out what the parents wanted in he way of services and such.
 
At 10:00 in the morning on the following mon or tues I forget which, I see the distraught parents pull up and the mom is crying and on her lap is her poor baby frozen in a clear plastic bag and that is it no bed no box no anything. The parents wanted to be helpfull and see their baby one more time I am sure. Not only did the er not know who they were when they showed up, but they had lost the bed and were anything but helpfull. And they could not even muster up a cardboard box for the little body. I mean dump a case of dogfood How hard is that? I was livid  and trust me I let them have it from the bottom up to the owner. Didn't change a darn thing. Nothing. I think they focus so much on the life saving aspect of it that they loose their warm fuzzie side.
maryjos

Registered:
Posts: 26
 #11 
What a sad story about the kitty! Yes, I think it's too easy for those that work every day at hospitals to forget that not everyone is as used to seeing such things. I actually worked as a vet tech and went to vet school for a couple years, so death and dying are something I always had a fairly pragmatic view about. I knew how the bodies are generally treated and it didn't bother me greatly (although I did wish it could be better). How different it is when it's your own furbaby though! Taz is not the first pet I've lost, but we had such an intimate connection that it just made it all so much more personal to me. Even as I left him there it made me weep, because I couldn't bear the thought of what they would do with him but simply did not realize I had any other real choices. I just told myself that it's just an empty shell now, that he has long since moved on, but I think we all would want them still taken care of with respect and care and so often they are not. So lesson learned. I don't know that I'll ever have a dog that means as much to me as he did but certainly all my pets that are loved and cared for so much during their lives I will make sure are treated with all respect and care after their death as well, to the best of my ability.



Taz, Dearly loved by Mary Jo, 4/28/95-5/25/08
Tribute Page
katndogs

Registered:
Posts: 64
 #12 
Maryjos & Loudpurring . .
thank you for sharing your personal Behind-The-Scenes experiences . . I too have worked in Vet clinics and have seen more than I ever wanted to . .
but this is Life . . can't change that
the best anyone can can do is to EDUCATE themselves BEFORE the need arises . . .
there ARE options.
I like to have a "Relationship" with my Vet and all the staff so Open and HONEST communications can take place.
Perhaps I'm an Idealist which only means I'm frequently disappointed . . never-the-less, this is what I pursue.

God Bless the Creatures and the Humans who LOVE them!
Katherine
Karma's Mom
and NOW
Miss Scarlett's Mom!!!
picked her up yesterday . . I am PUPPY-DRUNK!
maryjos

Registered:
Posts: 26
 #13 
Yes, I do wish I could find a vet that I really liked! I moved here 3 years ago and just haven't been that happy with the vet I currently have. It's a little hard for me as my cat has major car anxiety and so I try to find a place close enough that I can get there without sedating him. The clinic that a lot of people have recommended to me hasn't been able to take new patients due to a couple vets leaving and not having found replacements...although I do keep asking! It just makes such a difference when you have a good relationship with the vet and really do feel they understand how important your pet is to you...professional detachment may be important to some degree, but I prefer a vet that I think sympathizes at least with my loss. Of course, it wouldn't have mattered for Taz regardless, as he collapses on a Sunday afternoon. Ironically though, the emergency clinic that would not take us right away (and ultimately cost me any chance at all to save him) is the same place that I had taken my young dog to when he was having trouble with his puppy canines not coming out (it's both a regular hospital and the local emergency clinic during off hours). I was very concerned and really wanted them pulled before the permanents got pushed too far out of place (as has happened with other shelties I've had), but when I took him in they said they'd have to send me an estimate later. I told them I wanted it done asap and to please call me with the estimate. I never got it, no phone call and no written estimate in the mail either. I noticed that his puppy tooth was finally loosening by the next day, and decided to just wiggle it and help it along more and luckily it did come out on its own just fine, but I scratched that clinic off my list of ones to deal with, and now wonder if it was basically the same people I was dealing with. Almost makes me want to move from this area, when you don't feel like you have an emergency hospital nearby that you can trust.





Taz, Dearly loved by Mary Jo, 4/28/95-5/25/08

Tribute Page
HerbiesMom

Registered:
Posts: 196
 #14 
When my cat Belle died April 27, 2006, I had her cremated and wondered if it was really her, even though I paid for personal cremation.  I buried her ashes out back in her yard.  When my Herbie died this past Feb 20th, I did the same for him.

In both cases, the ashes were the exact color of their fur.  It was hard to tell with Belle since she was a gray, white, black and some brown tabby -- very common -- but it was exactly her coloring.  When Herbie's ashes came back, they were a very light beige, just like him.  So I know I was able to bury my babies in their yard where they lived and played and spent such a big part of their lives.
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: