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MissingBart

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Posts: 65
 #1 
Our beautiful GSD Zoey died on Friday, August 11.  We were camping as a family as we always do.  She was fine until Thursday when she got a bit lethargic.  Brought her to the vet on Friday morning and she battled for 12 hours before going into heart failure.  The vet believes she got into something toxic.  We have no idea how it happened or what it was as she was ALWAYS with us.  I am lost.  I am hurt.  I am numb.  I am angry.  I am sad.  I am lonely.  I am full of rage.  I can't stop crying in private.  I am trying to keep it together for my wife and two boys but my baby girl was ripped from me and somehow I couldn't keep her safe.  She was so pretty, so sweet, so smart and she did not deserve for her life to end this way.  I will try and post more later because as I type this I am overcome with emotion.

Partial2Hounds

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Posts: 279
 #2 
A big HUG to you for sweet Zoey! My family lost a dog unexpectedly years ago, and it is horrible. We shared our grief together, and it may help your family to express how much you miss her. Regardless, I wish you peace and healing.


-- Partial2Hounds
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #3 
MissingBart,

I am so very sorry to hear about Zoey's passing. This must be particularly difficult coming on top of Bart's RB anniversary. Sometimes there is no reason we can think of to understand why this has happened. Sometimes the best thing is to just vent, rage, cry, let out what you are feeling from your heart. No, it won't bring our beloved ones back, but sometimes it just helps to express the pain you are feeling.

Peace and healing thoughts to you as you go through this very difficult time...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom
MissingBart

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Posts: 65
 #4 
Not quite two weeks since Zoey passed unexpectedly and I don't feel a lot better.  Right now I am dealing with a profound sense of loss, lack of closure in knowing why she passed, and extreme guilt for not protecting her better or getting her to vet sooner.  She was two days away from her 10th birthday and she should still be here.  God, I miss her.
DavidNM

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Posts: 23
 #5 
That's something I've always worried about, my dogs getting into something they shouldn't, or somebody giving them something.

I've had two dogs that I strongly suspect were intentionally poisoned (two Aprils in a row) , and another I'm not sure about because I was away in another state when it happened (the mystery of that will always bother me, it's even worse than knowing).

It's hard enough accepting one dying of "old age" , even worse to have one go too young, of unnatural causes. And to not even have the chance to really say "goodbye." So I understand your pain.

Try not to beat yourself up over not getting her to the vet sooner -- it's so hard to tell sometimes between a dog just having an "off day" or maybe having a serious problem. My paranoia over someone maybe poisoning my dogs again led me to a lot of worry, to the point I probably would have gone broke taking them to the vet every time they seemed to have an upset stomach or acted strange. It's nerve wracking knowing you can't be there to watch over them 24/7.  I'm sorry for your loss ...
LoriDR

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Posts: 2,123
 #6 
MissingBart, My heart goes out to you. All those emotions you expressed are quite normal in the early weeks of grief. I remembered them deeply as I read your post, and my heart ached along with yours. If these sweet fur family members could only talk and tell us what's happening so we could fix it right away. Not being able to communicate contributes to the lack of closure. Sometimes I think a pet loss is harder than a human loss for that very reason. Since you don't know what happened, you assume there was something you could've done to fix it, but maybe not. I think we all think we could fix it for them. My Australian Shepherd died at age eleven. I believe he should've lived longer. I went over all the scenarios of how, what, where and when, but eventually I came into acceptance. It took a long time, and it's so very, very hard, because we ache for them to be there. Take it easy on yourself as you grieve. If I can make it through, anyone can. Hugs of comfort, Lori
MissingBart

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Posts: 65
 #7 
You have been gone for 6 weeks and I still am nowhere near being over you.  I am consumed with guilt, anger, and sadness.  I miss you so much.  You should still be here.  I want you here...
MissingBart

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Posts: 65
 #8 
I still cannot believe you are gone Zoey.  My heart is still shattered and I still cry most every day.  I cannot seem to move the past the pain and the anger of your dying so unexpectedly.  Nothing seems to help.  I miss you so much.
MissingBart

Registered:
Posts: 65
 #9 
Zoey, you finally came to me in a dream.  You looked so pretty sitting and waiting for me and my heart just broke because I could not touch you.  Time has not healed anything yet.  I love you so much.
MissingBart

Registered:
Posts: 65
 #10 
Exactly one year ago today you passed away from me Zoey.  I am still consumed with your tragic loss and no longer having you in my life.  You were the best dog and such a great part of our family.  While I was cleaning your headstone today, all I could think of is how scared you must have been.  Your name is tattooed on me to permanently honor the special bond we had in your 10 years on this earth.  I love you and I miss you.  Some day I hope to be able to think of you without crying and go to all the wonderful memories that I will NEVER forget.  We will see each other again and I hope you are patient enough to wait for me.
pb313

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Posts: 104
 #11 
Oh, Missing Bart, I am so very, very sorry.
Monique3305

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Posts: 9
 #12 
I am so very sorry for your loss of Zoey.  My Jax died 4 weeks ago next Monday. I am not sure when the pain ever ends. Right now I know I was blessed to have him but my mourning is non ending...
Rochelle

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Posts: 3
 #13 
I'm so sorry .I know your pain .I had to put my Bently down after 9 years. There are no words to make you feel better cry when you need to and try to think about special memories you have.look up the Rainbow Bridge poem and know in your heart you see that sweet baby agian .you go threw so many emotions during this time don't be afraid to show your family that you loved your Lil baby because they to are missing her so much. I'm hear if you want to post.and I'm crying with you over the loss of my Bentley hang in there it's all we can do.
MissingBart

Registered:
Posts: 65
 #14 
Rochelle, Monique and PB,

As I am here to write my thanks for your support, I still have tears streaming down my face.  I am at an absolute loss for how awful I feel at times and how much I miss her.  I am a grown man with two teenage children.  Most of my friends consider me to be a pretty tough person.  I didn't cry when a former college roommate and great friend passed at the age of 34 and he left a wife and two children under the age of 4.  I have sought professional counseling and gone to support groups and I can barely get out two sentences without breaking down.  The older I get, the more I realize how special it is to have the kind of connection that I had with Zoey.  She would have done ANYTHING with me and for me (except go swimming) just so she could be with me.  She rarely left my side except when I needed to go to work every day.

Thank you all for taking the time to say something.  Posting here helps me to keep her memory alive and that somehow she mattered.  I hope you all find the peace that I know your beloved Jax and Bently would want you to have.
Monique3305

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #15 
Oh Missing Bart! How I wish our pain could be magically taken away! But that is not the case.  We loved our babies FULLY AND UNCONDITIONALLY...just like they loved us ! Respect the pain as a remembrance to their TOTAL LOVE for us . We will heal eventually. One day I will be able to talk about my Jackson with love and laughter...and no tears.
Until we meet our loved one at THE RAINBOW BRIDGE ....I have faith I will see me best friend there...xo !
Rochelle

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Posts: 3
 #16 
Zoey is still with you in your heart. And even tho our hearts are broken ,you said something that hit my heart.you said I realize how special it is to have the kind of connection that you (have)with Zoey. Back up eight words from here.not had have. You have so many memories so many years of love that Zoey gave you. Remember them when you get sad replace that with a good memory. When I put my dogs out I call there names I found if I stick to that it helps .I still tell Bentley goodnight and good morning. I avoid certain things that make me sad and I've started to understand how blessed that I am and how honored that this beautiful soul loved me choose me to be his human. And no matter what comes and go's nothing will change that I'll always have him.I hope you feel better I know how much pain your in. 😔
Ljldrn

Registered:
Posts: 19
 #17 
I hope that you can find some kind of peace and comfort in your loss. Although they are not here, our hearts and our minds give us constant reminders that they were...how lucky are we that we have loved something so much that losing them is so hard...that right there is your blessing...you loved her and she loved you. Hugs to you in your sadness but know you will see your precious baby again. Take Care :)
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